Night before last was Part I of the Housewives Reunion Show and figured I might as well blog about it. Part II aired last night and I thought this should be fun because this year they did something a little different ... they had the husbands on so we could get their perspective on the last season. I could hardly wait to see what Fatboy (Alexis's owner) will have to say. In fact, last night they showed a clip of Vicki calling him a smelly dork. I couldn't stop laughing! And though I'm no fan of Vicki's I had to agree. Not that he's smelly, but he is most definitely A DORK. Jim and Alexis, who are forever touting their devout Christianity at the same time they tell us how much they spend on everything ... I found it really funny when host Andy Cohen asked Alexis how she believes God feels about plastic surgery, she grew quiet and thoughtful ... and then responded that she'd have to take that up with God ... cause you know she has His private cell number.
Last night they talked alot about Tamara and Simon's divorce. She shed a few tearless tears and then they got into Lynne's issues. One person emailed to comment that she thought Lynne "should have tightened her belt instead of her face." OOOOOOOH ... low blow! I think it goes without saying, but Lynne is still in deep denial about her terrible parenting skills and insists that she really is VERY STRICT with her girls and that's why they call her a bitch. Like I said in a previous post, I didn't even THINK of calling my mother the B-word cause if I had ... I wouldn't have a head right now.
Part II of the OC Housewives Reunion has just finished and there were some fireworks but mostly it was just a bunch of adults screaming and pointing fingers at each other demanding things like "respect" and all other sorts of ridiculous shit. I think that if anyone got a message last night it was Gretchen. I think she finally learned that her man/boy-toy, Slade Smiley, is more like Slim Shady. She truly is under the impression that he never dated Lauri (ex-housewife from Season 1) and ... well ... he did. This makes her the third housewife he's bedded. As Andy Cohen asked her: "Don't you feel kinda weird being like ... sloppy thirds?" OOOOOOH! Another low blow! To which she responded "no." So I guess she doesn't mind being the third housewife he's banged.
(Here's a picture of Gretchen and her weenie)
A lot of my friends don't have cable so they don't watch the Housewives. When I blog about them I basically get comments saying ... who are these people? I don't watch cable. And in truth, the Housewives have become quite tedious. I only blog about them because they're so easy to pick on. Now that the OC is done and we're back with the Housewives in NY and the NY housewives are another hot mess and have all changed alliances ... old friends are now enemies and enemies are now friends. Oy vay. This is such a negative depiction of what real female friendships are like. I have a great group of girlfriends and NONE of us act like this.
Jill and the Countess LuAnn are mad at Bethenny. Bethenny is pals with Alex and Ramona. Ditzoid Kelly ("I'm up here and you're down here") hates Bethenny and is now friends with Jill and LuAnn which I'm sure thrills Kelly to death.
Bethenny is the most successful of the Housewives franchise. She is a chef and health fanatic and invented the Skinny Girl Margarita. She was once the BFF of Jill Zarin but alas, there has been trouble in paradise.
Jill Zarin is married to the uber wealthy Bobby. Bobby is a sweetheart and suffered through a bout of thyroid cancer. Jill is very hurt with Bethenny because she did not come to see Bobby when he was in the hospital.
LuAnn aka The Countess, calls everyone Darling and Sweetheart and was recently divorced from "the Count" who was off in Europe banging another royal. She also wrote a book called "Class with the Countess" and is also mad at Bethenny because she forgot to curtsy the last time they met.
This is Alex. It was difficult finding a picture of Alex without Simon because, although you can't see it in the picture, they've actually had a surgical procedure that has permanantly attached them to one another.
Ramona with the "crazy eyes", as the Countess refers to her. Ramona drives all the housewives crazy but now is BFF's with Simon and Alex, which is beyond crazy because she at one time couldn't stand Simon. The Countess is miffed with Ramona because Ramona's husband made a snide remark about her and forgot that she is, after all, ROYALTY and has a TITLE.
Kelly. She is the mother of ... in her words ... two amazing kids and is a complete ditzoid who runs around the Hampton's air kissing anyone and everyone and is madly in love with herself. She recently posed for Playboy and personally, I would have had some surgery before this shoot because her breasteses are completely lopsided.
So, there you have it. I'm certain there will be fights and put downs galore as the need to be heard, photographed, filmed and adored continues on ...