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Showing posts from December, 2015

IN LIGHT OF THE CURRENT ELECTION CYCLE ...

I thought I'd repost a little ditty I wrote back in 2011.  I wrote a funny little post about my running for president which I thought was hilarious although there were some who calledme Socialist. 







Repost - 2011





So after much thought and serious consideration I have decided to throw my hat into the ring and run for President (hell, if (Michelle Bachman and Donald Trump can do it then so can I). I am running for the Truth, Freedom and Fairness Party and this is what I'm gonna do for YOU! 


1. No wars. EVER.




2. Tax the excrement out of all rich bankers/CEOs and Wall Street billionaires (no excuses, no tax loopholes/tax shelters or write-off's, EVER. You will pay 50% income tax on all of your earnings in full, every year, WITHOUT QUESTION, for the rest of your lives. Thank you. (happy face)




3. No taxes, EVER for any working stiff. They've paid enough taxes to last the next five decades. Under my Presidency, all working Joe's will get a big fat break includin…

IN LIGHT OF THE CURRENT ELECTION CYCLE ...

I thought I'd repost a little ditty I wrote back in 2011.  I wrote a funny little post about my running for president which I thought was hilarious although there were some who calledme Socialist.  (insert happy face here)



Repost - 2011



So after much thought and serious consideration I have decided to throw my hat into the ring and run for President (hell, if (Michelle Bachman and Donald Trump can do it then so can I). I am running for the Truth, Freedom and Fairness Party and this is what Imona do for YOU!

1. No wars. EVER.


2. Tax the excrement out of all rich bankers/CEOs and Wall Street billionaires (no excuses, no tax loopholes/tax shelters or write- off's, EVER. You will pay 50% income tax on all of your earnings in full, every year, WITHOUT QUESTION, for the rest of your lives. Thank you. (happy face)


3. No taxes, EVER for any working stiff. They've paid enough taxes to last the next five decades. Under my Presidency, all working Joe's will get a big …

SO ....

I was sitting at my desk listening to Luther Vandross on You Tube.  I was listening to Luther Vandross because my boss, whose office is right outside my desk, is SO FREAKING LOUD when he's on the phone that even with the door closed I can hear every single word he is screaming into his phone and I cannot hear myself think.  SO, I had to drown him out somehow.  I raised the volume on my radio but then I had a loud radio and a loud boss to deal with.  I grabbed my ear buds, and plugged into my Ipod but it was dead - ugh ... so I jumped on to YouTube and plugged in and went straight to the King of the Slow Jams Luther Vandross.  As I was drifting in and out of 1985 I got to thinking ... what are young kids today going to recall when they think of their youth?  What romantic memories will they have?  How can you possibly get all soft and nostalgic to “Bitch Better Have My Money?”

Today’s kids will know NOTHING of romance.  They will never know the magic of a first kiss. …

TELL IT TO THE JUDGE ...

In June I was clocked doing an astounding 10 miles over the speed limit.  I was doing 45 mph in a 35 mph zone.  So yeah.  OK.  I was speeding.  BUT I was merely trying to pass the A-hole in front of me who was driving SO SLOW he was going to make me late for my bus.  (I've often wondered why it is that certain people choose to drive 20 miles BELOW the speed limit.  In my opinion, if you want to go that slow why the hell don't you just walk?)

So I pass Mr. Tortoise and, OF COURSE, I get popped by a motorcycle cop.  F**K!!!  The city I live in (which shall remain nameless) has a cop on every corner ... LITERALLY.  It is a known fact that if you are going to drive through this city you'd better OBEY ALL TRAFFIC LAWS or you WILL get a ticket.  These cops have their regular spots and you see the same deputies over and over.  There they sit on their motorcycles radar guns in hand facing all the oncoming traffic while they hide behind a tree/car/sign/truck/dumpster, …