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Showing posts from April, 2011

GINO OR VIGGO????? I'm so torn ...

It happened again. A jones-fest over Gino. I had a tough, hard day at work and all I wanted to do when I got home was shower and sit on my bed with my computer in my lap and look at Gino Vannelli videos from back in the day .... (which is confirmation that even though you're an old bag and you have age spots all over your arms and legs and you're a flabby white whale there is still a 25 year old girl living inside you). So after infusing myself with GINO, GINO, GINO ... IT HAPPENED. I went to sleep and had a dream about Viggo!! Do you think he's jealous? Do you think he's reached out through the ether and "caught me" cheating? Can you blame me?! He doesn't write, he doesn't call, he doesn't visit me in the library of my dreams. What am I supposed to do??? I'm so torn. I NEED DIRECTION!!!!

SHUT UP ALREADY!!!

The Donald wants Obama to prove he was born in the United States ... OK Donald, but only after you prove you're not an Oompa Loompa.










Men vs. Women

The difference between men and women (or more specifically, Danny and I) is that for women, passing gas is a very unpleasant experience, usually accompanied by a grimace on one's face. For instance, whenever I find the need to pass gas, I immediately try to find a safe place in order to release the poison without offending anyone. If, per chance, I should happen to be around the husband and get "caught" ... I immediately apologize and turn the appropriate shade of red.


Danny, on the other hand, experiences pleasure whilst passing gas. I have come to this realization because I have noticed that whenever he engages in this activity, within two to three seconds later a large smile will form on his dimpled face. Why just last night ... while we were relaxing in bed he let one rip that was so loud and so long I was afraid the dog had a little heart attack. After yelling "MY GAWD DANNY, AT LEAST GIVE ME SOME KINDA WARNING!!!" ... there it was ... the smile ... w…

Bitch please ....

BIPOLAR DISORDER MY ASS ... she's having a facelift.