I'M PISSED ...

So, as some of you might know, I haven't blogged in quite a while other than my Golden Globe and Oscar posts.  Part of the reason was that blogging was a way for me to vent my anger (hence the title of my blog, "From Venting to Viggo").  However, as the country became more and more divided, I was afraid of speaking my truth and being stalked and/or killed for my opinions and of having to read nasty comments about being a libtard, etc.  But then I decided FUCK THAT.  And truth be told, I'm funny AF when I'm angry.  And as most of you might know (I say most because there is still a large faction of the population who are seriously devoted to the Orange One), but those of us with brain cells know that the world is going to Hell, and he is responsible.  I have stored up years of angst and anger, and I've decided to finally unload it and be true to myself!  It's either that or growing a tumor.  

Melania   

The First Lady Puta, and I use that term with the utmost respect, just addressed the nation about her non-existent friendship with Jeffrey Epstein to protect her "good name."  And to that I say, "WHAT good name!" but that's just me.  Anywho, you know, of course, that she speaks seven languages (according to the White House, and she also received a degree in architecture, which we all know is not true.)  She can barely speak English.  But what I found so fucking sanctimonious was her indignation.  I mean, I believe the entire world has seen her completely naked with another lady pretending to be making tha love, girl-on-girl style, and she has the nerve to be outraged that her precious reputation is being ruined by a so-called friendship with a psychotic pedophile.  Hilarious, right?  RIGHT!  

Melania stated in her book (eyes rolling) that "she was proud of her nude modeling."  I don't know about you, but that is something that no one should be proud of.  Especially doing so while their parents are still alive.  I wonder what Baron feels about his mother posing in a lesbian tableau like that.  This is a gal who has no respect for her womanhood.  

She certainly has taken care of herself.  I have conveniently posted before and after photos of improvements she has made over time.  See below and judge for yourself.  

                                                           BEFORE (Meh)

                           AFTER (Pretty, I guess, if you like looking like you can bend spoons with your eyes.) 

All in all, I'd say it was money well spent.  However, as you know, money can't buy you class, respectability, or an education.  I mean, it can buy you an education, just look at Donald.  But you all know what I mean.  Melania just needs to stay in NYC and avoid thinking.  

2026 ACDEMY AWARDS ...

So, let me just say that I am now entering the stage where I don't know who some of these actors are, and that makes one feel old.  I also feel that really good movies today are rare and that is sad to me.  The movie going experience is not what it used to be.  But, despite all that, I am going to do my duty and report on the best and worst looks at this year's Oscars.    

Michael B. Jordan, Oscar Winner looking mighty handsome.  Grade:  A

A classic example of Lycra gone wrong.  And p.s., when you can see a tiny bit of nip, your gown doesn't fit.  Just an FYI.  Grade:  C for cheap.

Heidi Klum.  WTF are YOU doing here!  Your dress is funky, your jewelry looks cheap, and your hair needs a serious redo.    

Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos.  They're a beautiful couple, but in person, Kelly Ripa looks like a bone in sequins.  Grade:  A 

Felicity Jones.  This dress is all wrong.  Very few people can wear pale yellow unless you're 8 years old and it's Easter Sunday.  The gown makes her look thick in the middle and does nothing for her.  Grade:  F

Rita Wilson needs to hire a stylist.  This looks like a "mother of the bride" dress she purchased at David's Bridal.  Grade:  F-

Kendall Jenner channeling Jessica Rabbit and/or Chi Chi LaRue.  Grade:  F.

Demi Moore.  LOSE THE FUCKING MORTICIA HAIR AND EAT SOMETHING!!!!

The Princess of Hollywood, Nicole Kidman.  This is a beautiful gown, and amazingly, the same color as her skin.  Her hair and makeup are gorgeous, but can I just say that she kind of bugs the shit outta me now?  Ever since her divorce from Keith Urban, SHE IS EVERYWHERE like she wants EVERYONE to know she's alright.  UGH.  Grade:  A  

Emma Stone.  She always nails it.  She looks fabulous in this beautiful yet simple gown.  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A+

Rose Byrne.  GORGEOUS GORGEOUS GORGEOUS!  Sheer perfection!  Beautiful dress, gorgeous hair, and makeup!  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!!

Grade:  AAA!

Little Katie Hudson in green.  Hate Kate, but she does look really good in this gown that fits her to perfection.  Grade:  A

Zoe Saldana looks quite nice; however, I think a red lip might have added a lot.  Grade:  B

This little lady looks like a perfect Disney princess.  Grade:  A

Anne Hathaway.  On camera, while she was presenting, this looked absolutely beautiful.   I loved it.  Grade:  A

This is a look more for the Grammys.  Slutty Chic.  For the Oscars, this is definitely a NO.  Grade:  F-

Kristin Wiig.  This look is definitely lacking.  Color - BORING, fit - ILL, and makeup and hair could have been a lot better.  Grade:   D- 

Teyana Taylor.  Not sure about this.  She looks great, but is the fabric too furry?  I'm feeling ... skunk?  Grade:  B

Pedro Pascal.  HUBBA HUBBA!  I like it! Grade:  A

... and here she is ... the only woman who can afford a $400 blow out and steam her vagina at the same time.  But, IMHO who also needs some lip filler on her upper lip.  Like really.  You should check that out Gwyneth.  I hate you, so you get an F-

Chloe Zhao, director of Hamnet.  Um.  OK.  It's better than her Golden Globes look.  Grade:  C

Jacob Elordi.  I'd do him in a red-hot minute.  Grade:  A

Timothee Chalamet.  Where's the milk?

Renate Reinsve.  Perfect in its simplicity.  And btw, beautiful legs!  Grade:  A

Jesse Buckley.  Oscar Winner.  Grade:  C 

Infiniti Chase.  Beautiful girl, beautiful gown, very feminine.  Not feeling the hair, but I'll give her a B+

  

Class Couple.  Grade:  A

Melissa McCarthy looking pretty fab.  However, it looks like a beautiful strapless gown worn over a black sweater.  

Fran Drescher channeling Valley of the Dolls, Jacqueline Susann.

Elle Fanning.  Same dress, different event.  I'd love to see her in a COLOR, or just plain ol black.  She looks like a princess though.  Grade:  A

Sigourney Weaver channeling Pat Nixon.  

Adrian Brody.  There is definitely something about him.  Grade:  A

Benicio del Toro.  GUAPO!

Love me some Delroy Lindo!  Such a good actor!

Mikey Madison. Love the look.  Kind of saloon girl, but it looks great on her.  Grade:  A

Well, that's it folks!  Until next year!

2026 GRAMMY'S ... Worst

 

Sabrina Carpenter.  OK hear me out.  There is something about her makeup that always bugs me and I think I've figured it out.  Eyebrows are too dark and heavy.  Not enough eye makeup, you need some eyeliner and a prettier lip color.  That matte brownish red does nothing for her.  And your hair is too light.  You need some low lights or something.  And a better hairstyle.  Dress is ok.  

Sister Mary Naked.

Her boobs are dimpled.  

FKA Twigs wearing FKA Twigs.  

Heidi ... why did you just go naked?  You know you wanted to.  SMH.  Pathetic.

Pretty girl.  Pretty tablecloth.  You could have done without the extra nine yards you're holding.

OK.  I mean, if you really wanted to wear that.  I think you put it on backwards, but whatever.

Surely you could have done better than pajamas.  I mean you're not at Walmart hun.  

Gown or shorts ... make up your mind.

Reba needs an upper lip.

Miley in sunglasses at night, with a leather jacket, zipper, belts, and gloves, Payless pumps, and a mini door wreath on her shoulder.  Yeah.  Do you Miley.

Sid Vicious in fur.  

Sharon Osborne as a cadaver.