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Showing posts from May, 2011

THOSE USELESS O.C. HOUSEWIVES AND OTHER USELESS CRAP LIKE KIM KARDASHIAN BUT SOME GOOD STUFF TOO ...

Last week on the Orange County Housewives we watched Vicki cry to Tamara about her marriage falling apart and wondering how she ended up in yet another unhappy marriage ... and how all she wants "is to be touched ... to get a hug at the end of the day" WAHWAHWAH. Well, first of all you have to BE HOME in order to get the hug you freaking maniac. YOU'RE ALWAYS WORKING!! And, as it tuns out, Miss Piggy already has a new boyfriend. Amazing. If my marriage ended six months ago I'd still be curled up in a ball crying ... not on to my next husband. But that's just me. These pathetic, insecure women cannot be alone for even two seconds! It's mind boggling to me ... but then, I'M NOT A NARCISSIST. I don't need the constant mirroring of adoration in order to get my narcissistic supply ... I take meds for that.

It's interesting how things work in the fantasy world of reality T.V. You got your Mob Wives, your Housewives, your Basketball Wives, etc., etc., e…

THE HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY ARE BAAAAAACK!

OK ... usually you have to wait until the end of the season for a big assed cat fight but not with the gals from New Jersey. (It kind of reminded me of my cousin's wedding in 1972 ... ) with that said let me set it up for you. Theresa's brother Joe hates Theresa's husband Joe. Theresa's husband Joe hates Theresa's brother Joe (can you say TOO MANY JOE'S???) Theresa hates her brother's wife Melissa and Melissa hate's Theresa. Melissa's sister Lysa hates Theresa and Theresa hates her back. Finally, Theresa and her brother hate each other. It's a virtual fuckfest of hatred. That's all. I gotta go load my revolver now ...

THE "FROM VENTING TO VIGGO" DOUCHE AWARDS

WOMEN NEED TO RUN THE WORLD DAMMIT!!!!

Case in point ... DOMINIQUE STRAUSS-KAHN (the dickwad above)

FACT: A woman would never, EVER jump out of a hotel bathroom stark naked and demand a man perform oral sex on her. We only do that in fantasies. Powerful men of the world need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and own the fact that they are IDIOTS (a stupid person with the mental age below three years who just discovered his pee-pee).
DOUCHE AWARD NO. 1 GOES TO DOMINIQUE STRAUSS-KAHN. Front-runner for the Presidency of France and A RAPIST. (AHHHHH, I love when the mighty fall).


DOUCHE AWARD NO. 2 GOES TO:
AHNOLD (aka The Sperminator). WHAT A DOUCHE!

It has always, ALWAYS amazed me when grown women get knocked up (accidentally on purpose) AND when a gown man with so much to lose does NOT PUT ON A F*&#ing RAINCOAT! AMAZING.






And last but not least, ...

DOUCHE AWARD NO. 3 GOES TO THE DONALD ... JUST FOR BEING A TURD.

(I KNEW you weren't going to run for president you IDIOT. Y…

POLITICS ... UGH

The republicans are all up in arms about the Osama Bin Laden "assassination" ... it wasn't legal, it violates international law, we need a picture ... blah blah blah. If George W were the president right now and Bin Laden was killed they'd be having multiple orgasms all over each other. My point? YOU CAN'T EVER WIN when it comes to irrational wing nuts. PERIOD. END OF STORY.

AND, it seems that Pakistan was harboring Osama all along ...
PAKISTAN! YOU'VE GOT SOME ESPLAININ TO DOOOOOOOOO!