A NEW RANT ...

 Hilaria Baldwin (wife of Alec).  Truthfully, I wanted to do a post on her years ago because I got tired of her freaking yoga poses all over the internet but I didn't think anyone would know who she was.  Well, now girlfriend is being accused of faking a Spanish accent and telling everyone she was born in Mallorca, Spain.  I hate a phoney.  And I guess Alec goes along with this story, but I can't imagine why.

So, yeah. Hilaria aka Hillary, was actually born in Boston.  She's not European.  She's not Spanish.  She not anything.  She's basically just a rich white girl.  

She is also in love with herself.

So funny.  This is EXACTLY how I clean my kitchen.

Yeah.  We know.  You're a great lay. 

 

OK Hilaria.  Now you're getting weird.

FYI ... doing yoga while cooking makes your dishes taste extra yummy.

And last, but not least, the post-pregnancy photo.  After delivering her fifth child.  Yeah.  Just doing her part to make average women everywhere want to commit suicide.  Thank you.

Well my love, you have seriously been busted.  You're just an attention seeking media whore who speaks with a fake Spanish accent.  

                            THE END

MOMMY ...

I lost my mother on December 14, 2005.  She has been gone for fifteen years now and I still think about her every day.  My mother's death affected me in ways I never expected.  It was very strange because I believe in the after life and yet all I could think about was 'where did she go?'  She was here, and then she wasn't.     

The finality of death is heartbreaking.  Months and months after she died I would still cry and cry until I feared I would never stop.  I have dreamt of her, but most of the time my dreams are not what I want to dream.  My dreams are usually of me screaming at her for leaving us and she is very confused and doesn't understand why I am yelling at her because she is so happy where she is.  The dreams are very disturbing to me and make me feel terrible, and I wonder why I never dream about the two of us simply walking together, holding hands and talking.    

Today something very odd happened.  I had to make a run to the market and I decided to take my mother some flowers.  I picked up some poinsettias for her and on the way home made a stop at the cemetery. I took the flowers to her headstone and placed them there and spoke to her for a little while when all of a sudden I looked back at my car and there was something red sitting on the roof of my car.  I looked and saw that it was a bird.  But a bird I have NEVER seen here in California.  This bird had a flaming red breast!  I have NEVER seen a red breasted bird in my life.  I have always wanted to see a Cardinal, but they are not indigenous to California.  So I'm looking at this bird and I'm thinking, we don't have red breasted birds here.  Then that little bird flew right past me inches from my face and landed on a candy cane that was sitting on a grave nearby.  It was SO RED!  Then she flew into a tree and past me again!  I was marveling at this bird flitting back and forth when I thought ... Mom?

This is very close to the bird I saw.  I just Googled red breasted birds in California and nothing like this bird showed up.  

I would like to think it was a sign.  A message from my mother.  That she knew I was visiting her grave and she knew I was leaving her Christmas flowers.  At least, I hope so. 

Merry Christmas Mommie.  I love and and miss you so much.  Until we meet again ...

A RANT ...

 Gwyneth Paltrow.  

So, apparently Gwyneth was interviewed recently and she explained why she no longer makes movies.  

Gwyneth Paltrow on why she stepped away from acting: 'It's just not who I am'

"I think that when you hit the bullseye when you're 26 years old and you're a metrics-driven person who frankly doesn't love acting that much as it turns out... It wasn't like I felt like this isn't worth doing, I felt like, well now who am I supposed to be? What am I driving towards?

Yeah Gwynnie.  I totally get it.  I'm a metrics-driven person too and, well ... I too felt like, well, now what am I supposed to do because I don't like my job either ... you know, just like you ... but I'M NOT A RICH FKN MOVIE STAR WHICH MEANS THAT I STILL HAVE TO WORK FOR A BUNCH OF MORONS, SO YEAH.  

"So if you compound those things with the fact that like, you know, to be totally candid, I had a really rough boss for most of my movie career at Miramax," she said. "Like, so you take all those things."

Yeah Gwynnie.  I get that too.  I know what an awful boss is.  You know, like didn't you hate it when Harvey Weinstein made you go get his lunch every day?  That sucks huh.  Especially after winning an Oscar.  Yeah girl, I totally get you.  

And this is how us poor gals steam our vaginas Gwynnie.

NEXT ...

This little twit right here ... Olivia Jade who's parents paid $50,000 to get her uneducated ass into USC and got caught.  Well, now Miss Olivia went on Jada's stupid Red Table to talk about her mommy and daddy going to jail and asking to be forgiven and given a second chance because she had no idea how privileged she was and now she does.  

Well, Jada's mama wasn't having it.  She basically said that this little girl's life will turn out just fine.  She will suffer no repercussions, her parents will get out of jail and they will still be rich.  Ms. Olivia Jade just needs to do this PR groveling stunt in order to get her old "job" back which is her Youtube vlog B.S.  So, yeah .... good luck with that you little shit.

NEXT ...

PREGNANCY PICTURES ... WHY?

The bitch who started it all.

The Cartoon Pregnancy

The Queen Pregnancy

Oh Lord ...

Personally, I miss the days when ladies covered this shit up.

NEXT ...

Heidi FKN Klum got married.  Again. 

So his is her first wedding to her third husband ....

Personally I find him really creepy looking.

And this is her second wedding to her third husband (because one wedding is not enough).  

WISHING YOU MANY HAPPY MONTHS TOGETHER ...