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Showing posts from February, 2015

2015 OSCAR POST ... THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY ...

Let's begin with our hosts.  Giuliana Rancic - looked absolutely ravishing for a cadaver.  Where did she get this thing?  At the mall?  It looks very 1980's to me, tacky, tacky, tacky with way too much going on ... ruffles and netting and applique and a belt and sparkles.  Jeez I'm getting nauseated.  Grade:  F- Kelly Osbourne  Kelly Osbourne and her lavender hair are getting really old, but I loved her gown!  It harkened back to the 1950's, very Ava Gardner.  Beautiful black lace sleeves with a boatneck neckline and I LOVED the folds of the skirt.  I usually don't go for the short/long hemline but on this particular gown it worked.  The gown gets an "A" but her hair gets an "F" giving Kelly a solid "C".  I also think she should stop using that maroon colored red lipstick.  Ick.  But because I love the dress so much I'm going to be generous and give Kelly a B+ Patricia Arquette in black and white looking quite beautiful.  I've alw…

WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT BY EATING HEALTHY AND EXERCISING AND YOUR HUSBAND ALWAYS, ALWAYS EATS YOUR CEREAL ...

So ... week number two (or three, hell I don't know) ... I get home from work, late as usual.  Because I'm dieting I decide "I know ... I'll have a bowl of cereal for dinner!" (insert happy face).  I had a big salad for lunch and I wasn't terribly hungry so I figured cereal would work.  Danny was already home from the gym (he can do this you see, because he has a wife who cooks and cleans and removes the oily urine stains from the toilet bowl) and I don't have a wife so I have to fit MY workouts in between laundry, cooking, cleaning, dusting, vacuuming, shopping, etc., et al. my life my life, omg my life.  I go upstairs to take a shower because I'm beat.

After my relaxing shower I descend the stairs, looking forward to my bowl of cereal.  As I'm almost all the way down I see Dan.  He sees me.  And at the same exact moment our eyes lock, faster than a bat outta hell he throws the cereal box on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table, hoping …

PEOPLE WHO NEED TO BE BITCH SLAPPED, PART II ...

OK.  This asshole right here.  Seriously needs to be bitch slapped.  I can't quite figure him out.  He's totally in love with Beyoncé but in a really creepy way.  Asfor this award season, if it were up to Kanye Beyoncé would win every single one including Best Actor in a Supporting Role.  Personally, though I think Beyoncé is a beautiful woman, I don't like her music or the way she sings so I can't understand why Kanye thinks she shits ice cream.  But whatever.  I'm just a baby-boomer who grew up in the 1970's when music was MUSIC.

As for dissing artists because the artists that are winning the awards AREN'T TRUE ARTISTS, since when, Mr. West, are you the arbiter of who is an artist and who is not?  Personally, I have no idea why people call you a genius.  To me you're an asshole.  You're rude, loud, ignorant, conceited, and stupid all at the same time.  And FYI, you really should take another look at the footage when you're mouthing off about ar…

PEOPLE THAT NEED TO BE BITCH SLAPPED ...

This little shit right here ...


Conrad Hilton (Paris Hilton's little brother) was arrested for acting like a spoiled brat on a flight from London to L.A.
According to witnesses, Conrad was heard yelling the following pearls during his meltdown:
"If you wanna square up to me bro, then bring it and I will fucking fight you"
"I am going to fucking kill you."
"I will fucking own anyone on this flight, they are fucking peasants."
"I told all of them I could get all of their jobs taken away in less than 30 seconds."
"I could get you all fired in 5 minutes. I know your boss! My father will pay this out. He has done it before. Dad paid $300k last time."

His attorney, Robert Shapiro said that Conrad had taken a sleeping pill and wasn't himself.  I don't know about you, but when I take a sleeping pill I SLEEP.  I don't go shooting my mouth off and punching airplane bulkheads. 

This is what you need to do with a little asshole like this…

MY DAY FROM HELL AND A LITTLE BIT OF DANNYLAND ...

SO, in an effort to keep my promise to myself to be good to myself I have begun exercising and eating very VERY good.  My co-worker, a 26 year old attorney who is also a brick house of a girl is my very own personal trainer and trust me ... SHE'S GOOD.  So, after telling her that I have been going to the gym and doing half an hour on the treadmill and half an hour on the elliptical she rolls her eyes. 
"WHAT?" I say.
Trainer:  "I'd kill myself if I had to do an hour of cardio.  It's okay but it's not VERY EFFECTIVE."
Me:  "So ... what should I be doing?"
Trainer:  "I'll give you a program."
She begins writing exercises down on a piece of paper.  Squats, lunges with the use of weights, burpees, jumping jacks, and mountain climbers.  She gives me time and reps and does the exercise for me, then makes me do them so she can be sure I am doing them correctly. 
So I get home that night.  I change into my workout clothes and I do the ex…