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Showing posts from August, 2013

JUST A WHOLE MISH-MASH OF STUFF ...

So I read this headline today:

Woman Swallows Tapeworm To Lose Weight; Tells Doctor She Bought It On The Internet I would totally do this.  I once read that opera diva Maria Callas lost a ton of weight because she'd been lucky enough to get a tapeworm.  Why don't things like that ever happen to me?   Things that happen to me:  Am prescribed Ambien due to chronic insomnia due to layoff and ensuing depression. Experience side effects - Nocturnal eating.  Gain 30 lbs while eating like a fat pig at night unbeknownst to myself. So I start wondering .... just how much would it cost to buy a tapeworm? I quickly Google .... Purchase Live Tapeworm Eggs! LOOSE WEIGHT EASILY
PLAY PRETTY GOOD JOKE ON FRIENDS
MAKE SCIENTIFIC PROJECT OR MEDICAL EXPERIMENTS All eggs guaranteed and fresh.  Collected at Владивосток Vladivostok Soviet prison camp in one liter slurry of liquid human excrement.  Mature tapeworm grows to up to 10 metres.
Please allow 12 weeks for delivery.  Use promptly on arriva…

FACEBOOK AND POLITICS ...

So anyone who reads my blog knows that I am not a right wing conservative born again Christian.  I say the F word, I vote Democrat, I don't want your religion in my bedroom and I don't think gay people are going to hell.  With that said, I AM SO TIRED OF PEOPLE EXPRESSING THEIR FUCKEN POLITICAL VIEWS ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE!!!  I know I have "friended" these people, and I like them and all that, BUT whenever they get a stick up their ass I gotta read an encyclical about the horrors of Obama and his evil administration destroying America the beautiful and turning it into a socialist country like Russia used to be where people have no rights whatsoever.  REALLY PEOPLE!?  You all need to get on some meds and chill.  NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO AMERICA.  Trust me.  No wait.  This is what will happen ... The rich will get  richer, the poor will get poorer and ME, MYSELF AND THOSE LIKE ME will pay more taxes than both of them.  OK?!  That's what's going to happen.  …

I SAW VIGGO IN THE ETHER LAST NIGHT...

I had to punch him in the arm and remind him that I'm his girlfriend.