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HAPPY NEW YEAR 2013 ...

It is 10:50 pm and there is nothing on T.V. and I've been on Pinterest for the last couple of hours which led me to all sorts of different sites and then I started thinking ... because I get super creative late at night ... which is why I'll probably be up until well after midnight (thank god for Ambien), and I started to think about the coming new year and some of the things (goals, resolutions) I'd like to accomplish  

(personally, I hate "goal oriented" people.  I can't relate to people who make plans and have tasks) I'm only doing this because I'm bored.  

So 2013, the OBVIOUS is:

1.  GET A JOB.  As you all know, I have not been gainfully employed for AN ENTIRE FUCKEN YEAR.  My goal in 2013 is to stay that way.  (RELAX, it's only sarcasm ...) I figure that if I don't worry about it, then something will happen.  Like reverse psychology or an ether mind-fuck.  All last year I worried and sweat about every single resume I sent out and not one second of anxiety brought forth a prospect.  Did I get a job?  No.  So, I'm not doing that anymore.  A job will come, when a job will come and it doesn't matter if my resume does not contain the correct verbage that employer computers are looking for.  What will be, will be.  I spent half my afternoon on Huffington Post commenting and fighting with all the right wing tea-baggers who believe that people like me are unemployed because we're lazy and don't want to work.  I hope they all get laid off.  One guy by the name of JASON, replied to my comment about the difficulty finding work and said "that he would NEVER BE UNEMPLOYED BECAUSE  HE'S NOT A LEECH."  Fuck you Jason. 

2.  I WILL NOT WORRY ABOUT NOT GETTING A JOB.  This is crucial.  Though I will continue to send my resume to the countless establishments that are hiring (according to all the idiots on Huffington Post) and into the netherworld of cyberspace.  I WILL NOT stress, nor will I become a statistic by snapping and taking a chain saw to all the cars in my condominium complex when I receive yet another response to the submission of my resume and carefully articulated cover letter ...

Dear Deborah, 

Please do not respond to this email; it was automatically generated to acknowledge receipt of your resume. Thank you for your interest in the Legal Secretary-LA opening with our BIG FANCY LAWFIRM.  We have received your resume and are reviewing it against our current requirements. We will contact you if your qualifications meet our current requirements.


Sincerely,
Human Resources Department 
 
In the real world this means: 
 No No No 


In the past, receipt of such an email had me crying like a little girl. You will note how impersonal they are.  Direct and to the point, yet hurtful ... like getting stabbed with a butter knife.  Well ... no more tears.  Fuck you fuck-heads.

3.  I don't want to read any more positive, uplifting bullshit messages or get any stupid advice like "why don't you start a business?"  REALLY?  ASS-WIPE.  Yeah.  And while I'm at it, I think I'll start drafting the plans for the estate I'm going to build on my vineyard in Napa   

Regular people do not start businesses or want to be CEO's nor do they have the discretionary funds to "reinvent" themselves.  THEY JUST NEED A JOB.  How hard is that to understand? 

4.  I am not going to get all riled up by the likes of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West and the spawn they have created that will probably have a ridiculous, stupid "K" name, nor am I going to continue to hate Lisa Vanderpump for being rich.  It just takes way too much energy.  

I do, however, want to thank all of you amazing people who come by and visit my site.  I love that you "get" me and I love reading your comments.  I know you all understand that what I say, I say in jest ... I would be so disappointed if you thought that I took all these idiots seriously.  I mean, it's all I write about and I know you visit me because I'm all about the hating ... and that's what I like about you.  You validate my hatred ... and that's a good thing.  

So with that said, here's to 2013!  FUCK IT!  Open-mouth smile

Comments

  1. I will validate your hatred ANY day--you can count on me! I always say that best friends are not the ones with common interests--it's the common things you hate that bring you together.

    Love you, Debbie! Hope this is the year you enjoy an unexpected windfall from a positive source (not like an accident or anything) and never have to work again!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Girl, I love more! Hey - there is a chance I will be going to Vegas in February. Will let you know! Owe you a private email. HAVE A GREAT YEAR! KNOCK EM DEAD LINDA!

      XOXO
      Deb

      Delete
  2. Jason can fuck himself. I got laid off and I'm not a leech either.

    I have a good feeling about 2013. It could be your year.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Noooooo! I'm so sorry about the layoff! IT SUCKS. I choose to go with your good feelings ... let's make it happen in 2013! And pray that Jason gets laid off :)

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  4. Debbie, my love! I want to tell you about a letter I actually wrote to the co-ordinator of ESL Teachers at this school that I've been trying to get on board with. I've sent 7 resumes, subsequent to all job postings that I've received from them (we all get the job postings and it's a very competitive area. I have only 1 year of experience; after 28 years as a mental health practitioner, I decided that I wanted to teach English to adult immigrants/refugees/international students. This woman's name is Rebecca.

    Dear Rebecca,

    If you could please just confirm that you just say "Oh Shit" every time I send you a resume, I would be enchanted. If you only took the time to speak with the people that I mention on my cover letter to you each and every time, you would be admonished for your lack of judgement. I am fully aware that many of your staff are leaving your mismanaged and poorly-run organization. Despite this, for reasons pertaining to the attainment of personal development and experience, I was wiling to endure the conditions that so many teachers have been so happy to leave. I now tell you with complete sincerity that I do not wish to be a part of your organization's obvious favouritism and blatantly corrupt hiring practices. One day we will meet at an event of some sort, and I will take great delight in knowing that you will want to pretend that you do not know me/have never had contact with me. If you can't even summon the decency of etiquette to respond with a confirmation of receipt of my resume, you deserve this. Your reputation is also less than stellar, and perhaps I should see this as a blessing in disguise that I do not have to work with yet another dysfunctional dictator.



    Living the life of the revenge Fuck You letter. Haven't regretted it for a nano-second.

    You go, you badass. Happy 2013 again, and you WILL have something come your way! xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OK. My uncontrollable fit of laughter (seriously ... my husband just called from upstairs "are you okay?") came right after this ... "If you could please just confirm that you just say "Oh Shit" every time I send you a resume, I would be enchanted" and continued until ..."Your reputation is also less than stellar, and perhaps I should see this as a blessing in disguise that I do not have to work with yet another dysfunctional dictator."

      YOU ARE FUCKEN BRILLIANT AND NEED YOUR OWN BLOG!!!! You MADE my day! Shit I wish you lived closer!!! That was hilarious ... OOOOOH I hope Rebecca loses her job and then gets a rash on her privates! Bitch.

      LOOOOOOOOOVE YOU!
      XOXOXO
      Deb
      ReplyDelete

      Delete
    2. p.s. That must have felt SOOOOOOOO GOOD!

      Delete
    3. Deb--I KNOW that we would love ea other!! We both have a huge appreciation for potty mouth when required!! Love it. Plus you are astute as hell! Wish you were closer too! I ALWAYS agree with everything that you say, and it's as if its coming out of my own mouth whenever I read your blog! When I know that there is no consequence, it is no holds barred and no one is spared! HA! Just like you. When you've been in the mental health biz, you've seen it all, know where it comes from, know where it's going to go, and know what to do with it! People that you know must love you! I will never tell you to start your own business! I know exactly how that feels! Some people are just not driven that way, and it's PERFECTLY OK!!!! Your perspective and appreciation of the important things in life are so inspiring--YOU should be a mental health worker! BUT--probably a life-coach, where you can pick the people that you want to inspire, lol.

      Delete
    4. Enid -- why do you have to live so damn far?!?

      All of your comments make me smile ear to ear and I swear to God your validation for my weirdness is soooooooo appreciated. I really do luv you <3

      Delete
    5. Hee hee. There's only geographical distance!! I'm amazed that I found your blog--happened @ about 3am one night while trolling the Viggo cyber world....wanted to respond for a long time but didn't in case you thought that I was some kind of wack job!! I'd love to do a blog but I would never have the commitment that you do! Also, I'm kind of a luddite with the computer--you amaze me! I told my cousin in LA to read your blog--she's tres cool--in her mid-30's, taught drama in the school system, is a great writer (both of us did lots of performing--live theatre)--she said that you were like therapy!!!

      OK--next date night, see This is 40. SO FUNNY, and also, some very touching moments. Great lines. Haven't laughed so hard at a movie in a long time. Needed it after nearly having to call 911 from watching Les Miz (which always happens to me--my fave musical of all, replacing West Side Story), and seeing all the blood in Django.

      xooxxo
      Eenie

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    6. You don't understand. You guys are "smart" people and think I'm funny. You guys are "talented" people and think I'm funny. I'm a little girl from the hood in L.A. with a high school degree. YOU COMPLETE ME LOL!

      You MUST start a blog. You are HILARIOUS. Also - I have commitment because I HAVE NO JOB.

      OK - so whenever you come to visit your cousin or come to L.A. for some other reason you MUST let me know. I HAVE TO MEET YOU!

      Thanks for reading and telling others to do the same. Can't tell how much it means to me. BIG KISS!

      Delete
    7. See personal email!!! MWAH!

      xoxo

      Delete
  5. When my hubby got out of college, he had a STACK of P.F.O. letters. He wanted to throw them out because they were a constant reminder of his failure to find a job. I told him that they were proof of how hard he was trying. Next thing you know, he got a job.

    Something will come or it won't. The only thing you can control is your effort and your attitude. As long as you're trying and NOT beating the shit out of yourself, you're golden!

    I fricken LOVE that you're on Huffington Post fighting with the assholes! Screen caps PLEASE!!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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OSCARS BEST AND WORST ...

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