THE WEEK IN REVIEW ...

IT HAPPENED!

George Clooney is engaged to girlfriend
Amal Alamuddin

I KNEW HE WOULD MARRY HER!

 

And I'll tell you why ... she is NOT a bimbette.  She is a human rights attorney and a woman of substance.  GO GEORGE.  I knew he'd eventually marry.  I said he'd find someone in her thirties, with no baggage, and then bang out a couple of kids.  Was I right or was I right?  Congrats George. 

And Amy ... I'm sorry.  If this were Viggo I'd be devastated.  (see www.marryinggeogeclooney.com). 

 

 

Bill O'Reilly Explains To Critics Why He Is 'Being Mean To Colbert'

Bill O'Reilly dedicated the last segment of his show Monday night to explain to critics why he is "being mean to Colbert."

"The liberal press is very upset, and I really don't understand why," O'Reilly said. "Colbert has made a living exclusively satirizing the right," he added, explaining that his comments shouldn't come as a surprise.  ... "In the end, Colbert may prevail, but my analysis of him has been to the point and honest," he said. "And as you know, that drives zealots on both sides completely.

 

Dear Bill:

You don’t have to explain to us why you are being mean to Colbert.  We know why.  It's because you ARE mean. 

Secondly, with regard to Colbert satirizing the far right, isn’t that what you do on your show?  Talk shit satirize the far left?  Pot meet kettle.
 

As for Colbert not gaining conservative viewers, we know that too.  That is why YOU are on Fox News and Colbert is on CBS.  See?  Everybody is happy.  Now … why don’t you go find a nice old lady to beat up. 

NEXT ...

This tool right here ...

Cliven Bundy

Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy claimed during a Friday interview on CNN that he didn't understand the bipartisan outrage over his recent comments suggesting the "Negro people" were "better off" as slaves, and blamed the perception that he's racist on Martin Luther King Jr. for not finishing "his job." 

Dear Mr. Bundy:

 

I have a fun challenge for you.  YOU live as a slave for a year.  I will be your slave master.  I will tell you what to do and when to do it, and I will beat you if you don’t do it fast enough or to my satisfaction.  I will give you enough food to keep you alive and enough clothing to cover your nakedness.  But when it’s freezing you’ll freeze and when it’s hot I will make you work harder by using a whip.  If you look at any one in my family, or anyone in general with what I consider to be a “leering, lascivious” manner, I will hang you from a tree and beat you.  Or … hang you by the neck until you die, whichever fancies my mood that day.  I will separate you from all of your loved ones; your wife, your children, your mother.  I will not pay you for your labor and you will never, EVER get a day off as long as you live. 

 

After one year, we can talk.  Then you can tell me if it is better for blacks to be slaves or better to be free and dependent on the government (of which you believe all African Americans are you STUPID moron.)

 

FYI … here is some suggested reading material for you (that is if you know how to read):  The Narrative of Frederick Douglass by Frederick Douglass; Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl by Harriet Jacobs – this woman hid in a box for seven years in order to escape slavery. 

 

As for your asinine remark about Martin Luther King “not finishing his job,” that is because one of YOUR KIND assassinated him. 

NEXT ...

This from "weird news" ...

Teen Arrested With Loaded Gun In Vagina

 

 

The officers allegedly discovered a loaded, five-shot, four-inch .22 caliber mini-revolver concealed in Archer's vagina.  It turns out the gun was stolen last year when John Souther's car was "ransacked" in an auto burglary, cops said.

DAYUM ... she must have a BIG box!  Do you realize how big your cooch has to be in order to fit a .22 in it?!

 

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST ...

 

Atlanta Housewives Reunion Part II

 

 

 

Honestly not much to report, just more of the same yelling and screaming over each other.  I think the fact that Porsha was not sitting with the rest of the ladies spoke volumes about Andy Cohen being a First Class COWARD by keeping Kenya on the show when she clearly is unwell.  

 

Mama Joyce is all kinds of CRAY CRAY.  I kept wondering if she was high because she was acting as though she was drunk.  She behaved terribly and very ghetto and I felt really bad for Kandi who basically looked at her shoes the entire time her mother was talking.  Though she never will, it would do Mama Joyce A WORLD OF GOOD if Kandi cut her off .... for just a little while ... in order to teach that mean, old lady a lesson. 

 

As for Nene and Cynthia's friendship I can tell you all it is all but KAPUT.  Nene has risen (in her mind) to the level of Mariah Carey Diva-ship.  Like I said last week, be nice to people on your way up because you're going to meet them on the way down.  Word to the wise Nene.   

 

Part III we get to see what the MENS have to say.  Andy Cohen asks Apollo about his legal issues and you just know Peter is going to go off on somebody.  So until next week, ...

 

SMOOCHES!