Finally, I managed to stop crying. He looked at me. His face etched with apprehension and doubt. I took a deep breath. I took his hand and led him to a nice spot under the shade of a beautiful tree. I looked at him knowing that he had no idea what I was about to tell him and how strange my tale would sound. I felt nothing but empathy for him and embarrassment and sorrow for myself.
"What I am going to tell you is going to be almost impossible to comprehend but you have to believe me."
"Debbie, ..." he said with concern but I cut him off.
"Viggo, please let me say what I have to say or I'll never forgive myself."
"Okay, ... what's going on?"
I steeled myself and began.
"Remember the first time I saw you in the library?"
"Of course I remember" he said.
"I made that happen."
"We both made it happen" he said as he smiled and took my hands in his.
"No Viggo, you don't understand. I MADE it happen. All of it ... from that very first time in the library."
"What do you mean you made it happen?"
"This is going to sound really insane, but I can manipulate the ether .... with my mind."
Silence. Then, he burst out laughing. A joyous, happy, relieved laughter and as he pulled me close and held me tight he said "You're crazy! ... manipulate the ether!" and he continued to laugh. I could feel his chest rising and falling and I savored the moment of closeness because I knew that in a few minutes I would likely lose him forever and just the thought of it tore my heart out. Then, I pulled away and looked him dead in the eyes.
"Viggo, you don't understand. I MADE it happen ... all of it from the very beginning. You said yourself the ether is illogical and nonsensical, that you could never tell what was real and what wasn't. It was like that for me too until you said what you did and it triggered something deep in my subconscious. It was like a fog lifted and I knew right then and there that I had the ability to manipulate the ether. That's how I manifested myself into the library. I had control over everything." I said as tears fell unbidden. "Whenever I wanted you I just wished and there I'd be ... in the library. It must have seemed all very natural to you ... you were there, I was there, and whatever came next, came next but the truth is that I had control. I had control the entire time!"
He was quiet. The look of confusion on his face broke my heart. He must think I'm a fraud and a manipulator and I couldn't blame him. God how did this happen?! I was responsible for all of it happening but I could not undo any of it.
(... to be continued)