STAFF CONFLICT AND WORKPLACE INCIVILITY

Consider these telling statistics from a handful of recent studies and surveys:
(My comments are in italics)

Managers said they spend, on average, 18 percent of the time dealing with staff conflict.
(Isn't that part of their job description? MANAGING STAFF?)

Forty-three percent of employees said they've experienced incivility at work, according to the "Civility in America 2011" poll conducted by Weber Shandwick. A Baylor University study found office incivility not only stresses people out during their working hours but also serves as a significant source of strain and strife at home.

Now more than ever, it's critical to find ways to effectively deal with stress and conflict at work. Following are some tips:

Take rudeness for what it's worth.
Being on the receiving end of an unnecessarily sharp barb or inconsiderate brush-off can ruin your day. Why let it? Constructive criticism merits reflection; rudeness does not. So, don't overthink the situation. While you can't control how someone else treats you, you can limit how much it affects you. A person's poor manners or behavior says less about you than it does about him or her.

Or you can do it my way. Keep a box of very sharp pencils on hand and when someone decides to be an asshole simply stick said pencil into said idiot’s eye. He will stop harassing you immediately. Guaranteed.

Don't go it alone.
Opening up to supportive friends or family can be cathartic. Likewise, seeking the wisdom of a mentor or sharing work-related war stories with a trusted member of your network often yields valuable insights and new coping strategies.

Or you can do it my way.  Hire my old neighbor Louie who is an ex-con and will break anyone’s knees for a small fee. Very effective.
 

Rise above the fray.
Pessimism is contagious, and it's all too easy for chronic complainers to bring others down. Don't get caught up in the negativity. It's possible to keep tabs on office undercurrents without feeding the grapevine with additional gripes, groans or gossip. Displaying a toxic attitude doesn't solve anything, but it will likely make you look bad -- and feel worse.

Or, you can do what I do. Bake some cupcakes laced with Exlax and hand out to your more negative co-workers and then wait. Guaranteed for loads of laughs!

Give yourself a break.
You might believe you can't afford to take time off. But can you afford not to? Whether you jet off to a tropical island or do a "staycation," stepping away to recharge your batteries is healthy. Getting some distance and decompressing has a way of putting even your biggest workplace woes in perspective.

Finally, take an honest look at yourself. It's very easy to point fingers and identify others' annoying personality flaws. But what about your own? Try to be more mindful of how your bad habits, moods and behaviors might negatively impact co-workers.

Or you can just say what I say ... I don't have to take a look at myself because I am not the asshole.  YOU ARE.  HAVE A NICE DAY.  DICK WAD.