And Viggo, my love, a tux with a navy blue and red striped tie??? YOU NEED ME. SERIOUSLY. 
You know, I love Meryl Streep as much as the next person but does she have to win EVERYTHING?! How many frickin awards does she have already jeez. Give someone else a chance. When I was in high school the same girl got nominated every single year for homecoming princess so why the hell nominate anyone else? And not because she won for the bazillionth time but because I have too:
Grade: F- She looks like a cowgirl ... all that's missing is the hat and the cowboy boots.
Georgeous George Clooney and his new lady. Sweet. I hope she's saving her money and eyes a nice
property she'd like to spend the rest of her days in when he moves on. Don't get me wrong, I love me some George Clooney but ... I'm just saying.Grade: A (because he's Hollywood Royalty .... but he really, really needs to call Amy Ferris, the brilliant writer and playwrite of Marrying George Clooney. Come on George ... you want to ... you know you do.
I love love love Diane Lane! Her gown was reminiscent of old Hollywood glamour, very 1930's. Loved the hair, loved the curls, loved it all. She and her husband, Josh Brolin, make a very handsome couple. And p.s. .... she had movie sex with Viggo in a waterfall. YOWZA) I keep telling you guys to rent "A Walk on the Moon".
Sofia Vergara. VA-VA-VOOM! This was a beautiful gown but I think she should have done something with her more with her hair. It just hung there. Jewels - perfect; dress - gorgeous; hair - spaghetti. This color was quite popular this year. Several ladies had this teal blue. Beautiful.Grade: A- (for boring hair)
NEXT ... Emma Stone.
This was the ugliest combination of color and fabric I've seen since Toni Collete's ugly rag during last year's award season. What is it? It's black and maroon with red and purple and a black leather belt with an eagle on it. It looks like a stomach ache. Color - bad, shoes - bad, dress - bad, overall look - bad.Grade: F-
The very beautiful Evan Rachel Wood .... this girl is so talented. A really gifted actress but I don't know. That dress ... all I kept thinking about were Mallards and duck feathers. That dark green, feathery, sequincey, blackish, greenish color reminded me of a swamp thing. Color is a big thing with me and I don't really dig green.Grade: C
Elle McPheson. I hate this broad. What is she now ... 52? As for her Golden Globe look, bland, bland and bland. Boring hair, boring dress, no color or bling or glam. When asked by hostess Giulianna Rancic "What do you do to look so great?!" Elle said "Laugh a lot, drink lots of water, be happy."
Grade: F- to the 10th degree (because you're a liar and need to be bitch slapped).
Moving on ...
Angelina Jolie. Red and white satin? My Barbie had a dress just like this in 1962. Here's the thing with Angelina. She is broad shouldered with super skinny arms and legs and big knockers. That does not make a good body in my estimation, but then I'm a broad so what do I know. This does nothing for me and as far as I'm concerned it's a big ol fashion flop. All that's missing is the white fur stole around the shoulders. Everyone was gushing over how beautiful and stunning she looked ... Me? NOT.
... and p.s. doesn't that tat on her arm look like bar code?
Grade: F-
Miss Charlize Theron. Beautiful woman but I'm kinda not feeling this gown. Very haute couture but I don't know. It doesn't wow me for some reason. Grade: C
Next ...
Jessica Alba. This woman ALWAYS nails it. This gown was absolutely beautiful. It was a gorgeous lavendar shade with gold sparkly overlay. Her skin looked buffed and shiny and I hate her cause she's so beautiful. Hair - could have been a little sexier, dress - gorgeous, jewels - perfect, bag - perfect. Grade: A+
The AMAZING Helen Mirren. I LOVE HER!!!!The Dress, GORGEOUS, the hair GORGEOUS, the makeup GORGEOUS. The whole look GORGEOUS.
Grade: A+ and a circle snap!
Kate Beckinsale. OMG. I have always thought this girl is so beautiful. STUNNING. Loved the gown, loved the hair, loved the jewels, loved everything.
Grade: A+ to the positive of 10.
Julianne Moore. This dress was beautiful. I loved the cut and shape. Basic black. I think she did a great job compared to last year when she wore that horrible wrinkly one sleeve pink mess. A big improvement. Grade: B+
Kelly Osborne. What's with the gun metal colored grey hair? All pulled back in a tight bun ... it makes her look like very chic 55 year old woman ... and she's not even 30! Hate the dress. No jewles, no earrings, no bling. The shoulders of that gown look like those of a Filipina princess and the puddle skirt looks very Elvira. Grade: F-
Madonna. Everyone I know knows I hate Madonna but, she is rockin' this dress. However, I only like the top. Am not feeling those dark greenish squares that start at the hip and then continue down the rest of the skirt. And I don't really dig those funky gloves she wore. Liked the cross necklace and the hair was good. But in all honesty ....Grade: D-
Lea Michelle. This was a beautiful gown but perhaps a bit too mature for such a young girl. Not much else to comment on. Looks kind of pageant-ish.Grade: C ...
Nicole Kidman. I LOVED THIS GOWN. I thought she looked fabulous. Hair, perfect, dress, perfect, overall look, PERFECT.
Grade: A+
Viola Davis. HOME RUN. Gorgeous color, gorgeous hair, gorgeous makeup. GORGEOUS.Grade: A
Tilda Swinton. I LOVE this gal's androgynous and cutting edge hip style. And she's a phenomenal actress. Loved the ice blue shade and really dug the hair.
Grade: A
Well folks, that's it for this year's Golden Globes Best and Worst of 2012. Hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to tell me what you think! Until Feburary ... OSCAR TIME! Au Revoir!
SMOOCHES!
Okay, so I was texting you all during the show last night with inane comments like, "Angelina, easy on the lipstick" and "Nicole Kidman: GODDESS!" and I'm wondering why doesn't Debbie text me back because I know you're watching but maybe you weren't near your phone...
ReplyDeleteThen finally I get this text: "Hi, Linda. Well, thank you for sharing your night with me. Just one thing--I don't know who you are, though you sound like you're having a fabulous evening. Feel free to let me see through your eyes tonight's events. Take care, Gary."
Gary???
Evidently I entered your number in my contact list with MY area code, not yours. So now I have this new friend Gary...
And I call you the whacky one.
That said, I'm with you on all of these except Madonna. Her boobs were totally pressed into that gown and they looked weird. Plus, what the hell is up with those arms? Too much of a workout? They looked freaky.
ReplyDeleteAnd, um, where the hell is your critique of Jane Fonda??? She took my prize for Most Amazing.
Between Jane and Helen Mirren, we don't have anything to fear when it comes to aging!
I agree with you on some of your critique...hmmm, let's see...
ReplyDeleteJane Fonda... looked amazing..see looks better at 70 than I did at 20.
Madonna...not only was that an ugly dress...but shut the eff up already, you talk to much about zero!
Reese Witherspoon...Ladies, if your flat chested DO NOT wear a dress that magnify your lack of chesticles.
Sophia Vegara.....100% woman including the sleek hair...I thought it went very well with the dress style...couldn't imagine her hair any different.
Angelina Jolie...OK, mixed reviews.
Loved, loved the dress..unfortunately it was worn by the wrong person. She has ugly collar bones and arms, but that dress was aMaZiNG!
Guys...
Your buddy Viggo...really? Why didn't you just wear Tommy Hilfiger to go with that 70's tie?
Johnny Depp...Alright already, we know your cool...you can quit with the clown attire.
and last but least...Ricky, I love you and your humor but tell me when and where your lunge act will be next.
I'm Just Sayin'
No one "Wowed" me except Helen Mirren. Gorgeous dress. The color was amazing on her. She is a beautiful woman. Angelina's dress was cut beautifully, but it would have looked better with a touch of black @ the neck as opposed to the red. With that said, I agree w Bunny on this one. Angie was the wrong woman to wear this dress. Madonna has never, in my opinion, had good taste. Her dress was sorta matronly and heavy looking. Vegas Linda Lou is correct, Madonna's boobs were smashed into that bodice. Can't wait to read what you have to say as the award season continues :)
ReplyDeleteYour critique is right on except for Tilda Swinton. I am not sure what to make of it except yuck.
ReplyDeleteJessica Alba always gets high marks from the guys because besides being beautiful she seems nice! And nice counts.
Bunny, great review. But I still cannot get over Angelina's dress. ICK. Madonna ... I HATE MADONNA. And Viggo does need a woman in his life jeez! He also could have used a haircut. I hate to say it cause I love him so much but it's true.
ReplyDeleteLinda, you crazy broad LOL. Hey, maybe we can invite Gary to Lake Las Vegas????
ReplyDeletelol
Debbie, DEAR DEBBIE! I am rushing off to work here and again, trying to juggle my time with early morning risings, blogging, getting ready to make a long trip to work; but I wanted to THANK YOU for coming by my blog and COMMENTING! You come to visit me??? THANK YOU! It is nice to know when people stop by. HOW ARE YOU? Ruben speaks fondly of you as he often visits you. I must dash off; I now have 52 students as of yesterday and I need to go and prepare for them. THANKS AGAIN FOR COMING BY and I so agree with YOUR GRADING SYSTEM HERE!! Anita
ReplyDeleteOMG! Thanks Enid! You'd think I'd at least KNOW what I was talking about doh! OK - Christopher Plummer is Canadian ... AND HE GOT VIGGO'S AWARD!
ReplyDeleteWow. I had not visited your blog until I googled a Joseph Campbell (love him!) quote and, lo and behold, here I am! I truly enjoyed your commentary (political and other), your criticisms, quotes, and quips. I look forward to exploring the rest of what you have to offer- please keep it coming!
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
Julie