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HOUSEWIVES ...

Ok folks, sometimes even geniuses fall short on creative topics and when I find myself in this situation I usually turn to the Housewives who are always good for a reliable source for outrageous, flipped out lunacy. I have just a few thoughts on the NY Reunion episode (parts 1 and 2) … it was basically a screaming bitch fest and I could barely catch a word sideways, so I’ll keep it short and sweet.
The Countess (LuAnn): SNOB. She really should take Ramona’s advice and “get that stick outta her ass.”
Jill: Still a mean girl and a sniper who befriends anyone, even those she disdains, in order to have a bigger camp of supporters.
Kelly: (aka Elle McPherson, Jr. (she wishes): Seriously daft with a vocabulary of two key words that she sprinkles throughout her conversations incessantly: Like and Amazing. And according to her, she says she has a degree from Columbia (… like … Columbia Night School? … that’s Amazing. Zzzzzz.
Alex: I like Alex. Although she tends to hyperventilate easily and turn beet red when she’s angry which is not a very good feature if you’re trying to come across as cool and collected. But in her defense, any rational person would be driven to hives with that bunch of Cretans.

Sonia: Cheap (as in “whore-ified”). There’s being sexy and there’s being stupid and there’s being nasty. Sonia is stupid AND nasty. Nothing more pathetic than a 40 or 50 something year old gal trying to look and behave like a 30 something year old gal.
The broad with the twins: Seriously needs to put down the phone and get laid.



NEXT: The Housewives of New Jersey.
Caroline: The only one with any semblance of sense, although a few of the others are rapidly trying to suck her into their black vortex of stupid.
Teresa: Teresa is exhausting. She is stubborn and in denial verging on delusion about her participation in her family’s problems. (Note to self Teresa: Electrolysis … I’ve said it before and I'll say it again … YOU NEED A HAIRLINE DAMMIT! ... talk about Cromagnum man)
Melissa: Not as dense as Teresa and but pretty much the same as above.
Jacqueline: I like Jacqueline and feel bad that she has such a spoiled brat for a daughter. Thank God I have critters. If that kid were mine I guarantee you she wouldn’t have any hair left.
Kathy: I can’t decide about he yet. Seems nice enough but I think I need another season to decide. Last season I LOVE LOVE LOVED Teresa. This season I think she’s cwazy. And P.S. don't you think Kathy's husband is weird? And those glasses, god almighty … he looks like the
Moe Green character from the Godfather.
Next … The Housewives of Beverly Hills. I saw a preview of what’s to come and can I just say … I feel like I already need to take a shower.
Okay folks, until next time …
TOODLES!!

Comments

  1. Dear Debbie,
    I can't really comment on this post very well because I've never seen the show. All I can say, based on your funny critiques is that this kind of entertainment doesn't mirror the culture so much as create it. Americans then come to believe that this is what passes for important or normal. People in other parts of the world look at it and want to be like us because it seems -- like the great black hole at the center of our galaxy -- everything else inexorably revolves around us. The only problem is this is not "US". It's a theatrically sensationalized post-modern version of us.

    Other worlds are possible.

    Ruben

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just wanna know how they find these tools!!!

    ReplyDelete

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