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THE MARRIAGE REF

So I was laid up again with another cortisone shot to the foot (I'm officially an old lady) Dan and I just hung around the house because I wasn't supposed walk and besides, it was too freaking hot outside.

Later that night we were watching "The Marriage Ref." I don't know if you've ever seen this program but it is definitely a must see. It will make all you married folks out there feel NORMAL. You know how sometimes when you're married you can feel kinda guilty because sometimes you can be big ol beyotch and your spouse has to put up with all your crap but then you gotta put up with their crap too like when you lose it because the husband is chomping on chips loudly crackling the bag while standing over the sink with a container of salsa which always, ALWAYS ends up on the front of his T-shirt because he's a slob and he would rather munch for three and a half hours than actually prepare a meal for himself, but I digress ...

Anyway, the premise of this show is this: you take three couples, you film them while they're having a fight with their "crazy"
spouse and three celebrity judges decide who is the Rightest. YES. THE RIGHTEST. The winner gets $25,000 and a billboard in their hometown that says "DEBBIE WAS RIGHT!" (well, not really but you know what I mean ... the winning spouse gets the billboard) How's that for satisfaction!

Couple No. 1: Here we have a husband and wife who have been married 30 years. He thinks his wife and kids waste too much food so ... HE HIDES IT. He takes all the condiments in the house: ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, etc., and hides it all over the house, the garage, anywhere they can't get at it. I don't really see the logic in this but this is the issue the wife is dealing with.



Couple No. 2: Husband is an ex-lawyer, wife is a tea
cher and they have three kids. Husband has quit working and has now dedicated his life to following his passion which consists of living in a magical world called The Mystic Realm. He has over 300 members who participate in The Mystic Realm and they literally dress up in costume and play act that they're living in Sherwood Forest and have sword battles and basically act like a bunch of 9 year olds all day long. He justifies this by stating that he believes that if it were not for him these folks would never have an opportunity to be a part of the arts. You know, acting/drama, etc., et al. (eyes rolling ....)


Couple No. 3: Interracial couple, Caucasian husband, African-American wife. Problem: He wants his daughter to "be who she is" and let her hair be wild and free and not conform because he wants her to be her own special self and by that she will stand out (p.s he also wants her to have a career in show biz). Mom wants daughter to be a little lady and be well groomed and look presentable a all times and not have a head full of wild hair. Awwww. (I'm with mom on this one).

Next couple: 38 years married. Husband is pissed off because all she does is buy clothes, earrings, shoes and purses and she keeps EVERYTHING. She has an extra bedroom that is basically a closet with clothing racks and a bunch of plastic bins stored with
shoes/scarve/blouses/sweaters. He believes if you haven't worn it in a year, get rid of it! Whenever she isn't home he literally goes through all her stuff and counts
it.

I tell you, if you don't feel better about yourself and your marriage after one episode ... you must really be crazy. I turned to Dan and with mountains of relief said "GEE HONEY! WE'RE NOT CRAZY ... WE'RE NORMAL! DAYUM!"



Good to know.

Comments

  1. Dear Debbie,

    First of all, it's really amazing that of all the poets, my last blog post should focus on Rumi whom you have been getting into as well. All I can say is, WOAH!

    Second, of all the "reality shows" I've ever heard of, this is the only one that I'd actually like to see. Quit a job to play? Hide food from your family? Yadda, yadda, yadda.

    Some of the "problems" are plain friggin weird.

    Sometimes I believe that if humans disappeared, the earth would not miss a thing.

    And yet there has always been the possibility of something marvelous in spite of all of our profound errors, idiocy and waste.

    Great post Debbie.
    Your bud,
    Ruben

    ReplyDelete

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DANNYLAND ...

Danny has this disgusting habit of brushing his teeth and then rinsing his toothbrush and leaving it ALL WET in the toothbrush thing.  (See photo below.  A roll of toilet paper he sets on the counter like a cup and then sticks his toothbrush in the middle of it) ... what a genius huh?

The point?  Adisgusting, wet toothbrush will collect bacteria and mosquitoes and it's disgusting and filthy.  It drives me crazy.  Does he stop?  NO.  


What you're supposed to do is brush, rinse with HOT water and then DRY THE BRUSH THOROUGHLY ... THEN put it in the toothbrush thing.  IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

And how hard is it to take the yogurt OUT of the plastic bag?


God forbid he break a sweat. 

 Also, he never EVER closes a drawer, a cabinet, or a door ... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Don't you HATE when your husband makes hamburgers ...




*sigh* ... my life.

OSCARS BEST AND WORST ...

Well, for some unknown reason I was unable to get E! Live on the Red Carpet!  I called the cable company, I unplugged the t.v. to reboot it ... NOTHING.  SO, I had to go with Channel 7's coverage which is NOT NEARLY AS IN DEPTH as E!  Needless to say Mama was pissed. 

So, with that in mind ... let's get started!


Alicia Vikander.  Beautiful!  She looks very young and sweet and elegant.  Love the color of this gown .... Grade:  A


Jennifer Lawrence.  BEAUTIFUL!  Love the hair, love the make up, love the the gown.  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A++


Brie Larson.  I'm not really feeling this gown.  The color is beautiful but the belt and the bling and the ruffles and the pleats ... there's a lot going on here.  Grade:  C



Nice guy Dave Grohl and wife.  Class Couple!  Love her dress and earrings ... very pretty. Dave .... it's the ACADEMY AWARDS .... a traditional tux would have worked much better and you would have looked SO HANDSOME.  Wife Grade:  A, Dave's Grade:…