Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez
I can't tell you how happy I am for these two I could just shit. Here we have a loving couple who have the means to rent Venice for their nuptials. Did you get that? They are renting an entire city in Italy for their wedding. The only thing that could shock me more is if Pope Leo married them.
I can hardly wait to see what Lauren's gown will look like. I bet it will be studded with diamonds! That will be her first gown. The one she will be married in. Her reception gown will probably be something sexy and flirty. I'm picturing something short so she can show off those scrawny knees and rug burns. I'm smiling just thinking about it. How sweet!
All the world's VIPs will be in attendance. Political leaders, celebrities, and anybody who is anybody will be there! I wonder if Jeff invited any of the help? You know ... all those Amazon workers that made him $223 billion dollars? But I'm guessing he didn't. Venice would not be able to accommodate all those Amazon workers. It's just not big enough. Oh well. Maybe he will give them all huge bonuses. What do you think?
I'll tell you one thing. I'd love to see that prenup!
I bet little Lauren Sanchez from Albuquerque never thought she'd grow up to be such a rich skank with three children from two baby daddies! And then, the happiest of happy endings, she goes and marries one of the richest men in the world. Wow. Proof that dreams DO COME TRUE. ESPECIALLY FOR SKANKS! As long as Jeff keeps her in Diamonds and Botox, they'll have one happy marriage.
WHAT A SHOW.
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