I was just over on Bunny's site (I'm Just Sayin') and she was given an award for being Sunshiny. Then I went over to Marie's Blog (Dancing in Tattered Shoes), and then I went to Anita's blog (Castles, Crowns and Cottages) ... these three ladies are all friends from high school and their blogs are very ladylike. And I mean that in a very good way. Being that I'm probably seconds way from getting a visit from my comadre, I'm feeling very blue. Check out the above mentioned blogs ... I know you will love them. Bunny is very funny, Marie is very funny as well and a great storyteller and Anita's blog is like stepping into an enchanted and magical French world. I say this only because those of you who read my blog know I use the F word a lot and I am irreverent and sarcastic and ... well, NOT ladylike. And because I'm hormonal and am feeling particularly emotional, I feel sad. I know I have a blog and I put all my feelings out into cyberspace for all the world to read and bloggers LOVE getting comments. For me, it's like the gas that keeps me going. I don't get nearly as many comments as some of my other blogging friends but I think that is because I am not ladylike and I don't blog about decorating and scrapping (really and truly no offense to anyone who likes decorating or scrapping) ... so when I get a comment from someone I don't know and they like my blog or tell me I made them laugh it makes me feel really great. Again, all this emotionality is not only due to hormones but probably also my co-dependent need for approval ... the other day I got a comment from someone I don't know and it was kinda nasty and I felt like ... wow. And it bothered me because I'm really not how I "sound" ... and I totally get that if you read my blog and don't know me you'd probably think I was a horrible, terrible shrew. But still ... it made me feel bad and it got me thinking ... re-examining the way I say things. Sometimes I will re-read a post and think to myself, dayum ... I sound pretty hostile. And yet, on the other hand, I know my friends, those of you who know, me think I'm really funny and you know exactly where I'm coming from because you know me in real life. And that is really comforting because I'm not how I "sound".
Add to this a year and a half of unemployment and there you have it. I:
(a) have too much time on my hands;
(b) have no identity anymore;
(c) am WAY too old to still be getting a period; and
(d) probably need more meds (ba dump bump ... that was meant to be funny)
So ... now that I've VENTED (which, by the way, is the title of my blog) I feel much better. Thank you for listening. To those of you who regularly stop by, and especially to those of you who "get" me, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
XXXOOO
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WOW. So six years ago this gal posted this picture of herself with a letter to all the ladies who were sending her hate. This was my ... -
There. I'd said it. What I'd wanted to say for so long. The silence between us was deafening but I was unmoved. It felt good to ... -
Now y'all know how I hate me some Gwyneth Paltrow. Well, girlfriend went and "designed" a fabulous new and trendy t-shirt that...
Oh Debbie...my blog entry on my award was made to be sarcastic...because I'm not sunshiney...just like you. We are two peas in a pod. I get you, I've always have gotten you and I will always continue to. What impresses me the most about you is that you are not afraid to say what most people won't...and you don't care...why? Because you know who you are and you are a strong women with a lot to say. We all want to be validated at one time or another...so, having said that... I absolutely love your writing and please, don't stop...I look forward to hearing whatever you have to say.
ReplyDeletesmooches,
bunny
Comadre, I second Bunny's comment! You and I are so very different, yet, I LUUUUUV you to pieces. Why else would I have asked you to be my childs Godmother? You make yourself heard and whether anyone agrees with how you do it, not only does it get across to the reader, you get the opportunity to let your thoughts, worries, concerns and true self go. You say what you need with what ever words it takes for you to do it and whether or not I or anyone else uses them, would never change my mind about you. But I will say this, if you at any time wonder if you're loved, you can stop right NOW! Cause baby, you ARE. You are a one of a kind beautiful person, inside and out!
ReplyDeleteHugs and some more hugs!
Marie
My dearest, you are talented....those who can use their heart, emotions, even frustration in a SKILLFUL and funny way are on their way to communicating effectively. Like myself, you have a certain style that is YOU and don't feel bad for being YOU. WE ALL have a space cut out for us and those who dare to use it are those that succeed. You have brought many a laugh, a deep thought and tear to my eye as I have looked at your journey. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR SWEET WELL WISHES FOR MY DEFENSE!!!!! Anita
ReplyDeleteBravo to the comments by: Bunny, Marie and Castles, Crowns & Cottages...... They nailed it. Debbie you are awesome in all aspects. Please, please continue your good works !
ReplyDeleteLove ya, Cousin Dee
Ditto on all the comments. You say what people are thinking. Don't be all sunshiney and ladylike,(boooooooring!)
ReplyDeletelove ya cuz!
Cindy loo
I LOVE YOUR BLOG! I'm one of those ladylike ladies you referred to, in fact, "Castles, Crowns and Cottages" is one of my all-time favorite blogs and is totally me--Anita and I are kindred spirits. Yet I totally get and admire your wonderful sense of humor--you remind me of a couple of my cousins. Although my time online is limited, yours is the blog I find myself gravitating to most. I so look forward to your unique and humorous take on life.
ReplyDeleteI laughed out loud at your recent post about marriage and forwarded it to friends encouraging them to visit your blog and read for themselves. My boss and I howled at post on menopause and your take on what I (and probably Anita too), refer to as 'dropping rosebuds'--THANK YOU for making us feel better!
THANK YOU too--for brightening each and every day that I visit you. Sensitive though you may be, you can't allow a few negative comments to affect that unique and wonderful spirit that is you. We may not always comment, but I assure you that you have many, MANY admirers and followers. I just happen to be one of your biggest fans and am off to read more... Cherie
Heck. You're a lady, dagnabbit.
ReplyDeleteEhh . . . you let loose with your true feelings, and that includes expressing them with whatever vocabulary style-- and you *are* a woman of style, for sure -- comunicating your desires, hopes, dreams, and demands, cuz!
I like that. A lot.
I'm particularly pleased to have met up with you again at this stage . . . life, with all the idiosyncracies, frustrations, and ribald laughter is far better than what the two of us where chatting about when we were under 10 years old!
Rave on, cuz! You're totally representin' for women of considerable life experience and too often exasperating love lives (married or otherwise), and thoughts about how employment ought to be managed . . . add in a whole host of wry observations on the foibles of celebrities -- and those who think they are -- and your blogging is a feast for the eyes, and food for the soul!
blessings,
Claudia
Oh dearest, thank you for coming again to my post....all of these fine ladies are so right, and I know that Ruben will be in agreement...he will be visiting you soon; we just got home from work. A writer must not compromise and be anyone else other than themselves. Voila! YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!!! Bisous, Anita
ReplyDeleteHi Deb! You know, I am not sure I know who Cherie is!!! I know a wonderful Sherry, but I am not aware of a Cherie....anyhoooo, she is a nice person per her comments and do you see? We all love ya dear! Ruben is coming to visit, but probably not 'til later on Saturday. He really enjoys your blog as well. You are not alone my dear, you are not alone. Bisous! Anita
ReplyDeleteDear Debbie
ReplyDeleteI say this not as pity but as truth. I love your blog because it is so honest and gutsy. You hide nothing. I makes me angry that our society just uses people and then discards them (I'm referring especially to how our economic system seems utterly devoid of a heart; I know so many people out of work, and it's hard for them not to take personal).
I was saddened when you said: "I have no identity anymore." I'm not sure what you mean by that, but I hope you KNOW that you have friends (even new ones such as myself) that care about you, and I wasn't kidding when I said a few weeks back that when Anita and I are next in California, we definite want to connect with Marie, you and Bunny. In fact that's one of the reasons we even want to go.
Now as to your blog and the language thing. First, I know when I come here there will be "venting." I don't expect wine and roses on a blog titled "From Venting to Viggo." Second, what makes your venting, shall we say palatable, is that you just plain funny.
Three, like all of us, you're still "growing." I hope and believe that you won't have to "vent" forever. And you my even have revise your blog title, if for not other reason than that gorgeous Viggo won't be gorgeous forever. (At least I hope to God he won't.)
Fourth, if you're concerned that your language or non-"lady-like" manner is turning some people off, then try putting some of the things you say differently. Sometimes the F word isn't funny, especially if it gets overused.
But some of your funniest and most memorable stuff you've written didn't even use the F word. You have a clever wit. Keep using that and even if you're venting, as long as people are laughing, you'll have them. One thing I've learned over the years: there is ALWAYS another way to say things.
Your friend,
Ruben
P.S., I've been ridiculously busy so I've been behind both in keeping up with blogs and writing my own. I've left comments on your 3 post previous to this one that I'd missed.
Peace
Debbie,
ReplyDeleteIt is true that things have been very different for you the past 1 1/2- 2 yrs. You are experiencing a huge life change- for a woman who has always been independent, always worked, and has always been able to support herself, and always the social butterfly, it makes sense that you would feel very out of sorts. It won't always be this way. Keep writing your blog. It is good for the soul and entertaining for all of your fans! It is obvious that you have a talent for writing, and expressing yourself in your own unique way. That is called a "writer's voice." Don't compare yourself to anyone else.. or to other bloggers. Carlos Santana says it is best not to present yourself "..in inferiority or superiority.." (he said that on the Tavis Smiley Show) to your colleauges. Never, ever have doubts about being authentic and true. Continue to Sparkle ****************
Love you,
Sister-Friend
Ladylike? Is that what you think we're looking for? Hell, no! Each of us has a unique voice; never feel apologetic about yours. Besides, I don't trust people who are afraid to say "fuck." Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteDebbie - You DO NOT have a bad attitude!! I love your attitude....YOU GO GIRL!
ReplyDelete