The Housewives ...

P.S. I WAS IN A SLIGHT PANIC BECAUSE I THOUGHT I'D MISSED THE LAST EPISODE OF THE HOUSEWIVES BUT, FEAR NOT, I DIDN'T. There will be a new episode on Thursday, so for now, comments on this particular post are all current and up to date.

So, the new season has begun and we have now had an opportunity to get to know the new housewife, Alexis Bellino. WHERE, OH WHERE, DO I BEGIN ... let's start with the fact that she calls herself a "devout Christian". I don't know about you, but how many devout Christians do you know that have a pair of 36 double G's, look and dress like a porn star and have not ONE, but TWO nannies? Come on Alexis ... what would Jesus say? Oh, and p.s ... you really need to cover up those mammary glands if you want to be taken seriously. And that husband of yours! He's another piece of work ... all emphasizing how important God is in their lives as he exits his Rolls Royce while he sucks on a big ol cigar. Personally, I think he looks like a big ol fat boy ... and you just KNOW he has a hairy assed back YUCK!! By the way, this is her SECOND marriage people. Thank You.

I got a particular kick out of her lunch with Gretchen where she pronounces that she and her husband have the perfect marriage and trust each other COMPLETELY and that if her husband were all alone on a yacht with Gretchen ... naked ... she would not worry at all. Wow ... now that's trust people.

We're also getting to know Lynn Curtain a little better. Last season the other housewives were a little mean to her but now that I've gotten to know her a little better myself, I realize that if I were ever in the same room with her I would physically have to restrain myself from wanting to slap her upside the head just to wake her the fuck up!!! ... DAYUM, IS SHE STUPID OR WHAT?!! She must have done A LOT of drugs in her youth. How in the world do you get to be her age and still act like such a freaking LA LA? And a little advice hon ... if I were you, I would have had my breasteses re-done instead of having that face lift ... your knockers look like a pair of cantaloupes.

Truthfully, I really miss the other OC housewives. And although I realize the whole point of watching this kind of programming is to watch these birdbrains fight and claw their way to the middle ... somehow .... I'm just not that into them this season. Maybe the housewives from New York or New Jersey will be better. We'll see. So far, half these housewives have lost their homes and are all in debt. OH, and check this out ... you know the couple that crashed the White House, the Salahis? These two were trying to get onto the "The Housewives of Washington D.C." The wife totally looks like "a housewife" doesn't she? And look at the way her old man is smiling .... WHAT A FREAKING PAIR OF BOOBS.

P.S. I still think they should do a Housewives from the Hood.
... we could call it something catchy .... like ... ummmm

L.A. LOCAS!

P.S. Could you even imagine the housewives of the OC tangling with the Locas from L.A.!?

I, for one, would pay big bucks to watch someone beat the crap outta Miss Piggy.

Okay. That's it for now. Will report further after Thursday's episode where Tamra talks about she and Simon heading for divorce ... can't wait!

OVER AND OUT.