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Once again ... another blurb about my hair ...

Remember a while back when I was contemplating going gray? And how I wondered if I'd look classy like Jamie Lee Curtis or just look like an old lady? Well ... I did go gray ... and take my word for it ... I did not look like Jamie Lee Curtis. My stepdaughter told me that while we were all at the hospital for Lauren's transplant everyone thought I was Lauren's GRANDMOTHER! And I'm sorry people ... but I just can't have that .... I'll go gray when I turn 60.

Hair, to me, is the only thing I got going for myself at this stage. So styling it, coloring it, cutting it, growing it, streaking it - these are all things that I do to give myself a little lift. Having done NOTHING to my hair in the last year has been a righteous bummer. SO, decision made. I'm going to color my hair. I know I can't afford the blond thing so I figured a nice warm brown would look good and then I could add blond streaks later. So, I get to my appointment figuring I'll be there two hours tops. SEVEN AND A HALF HOURS LATER I finally walked out of there!

So my hairdresser says to me "Brown? NO! Let's just add some platinum highlights all over ... it'll look great!" "Okay, sounds good." The process begins. Several hours later I'm done and when I look in the mirror it looks like I've aged another 15 years! I just have MORE GRAY HAIR! I'M SCREAMING IN MY HEAD. I DON'T LIKE IT. Okay, she says, let's put a brown shade to warm it up and it'll also darken up the platinum. I can tell she feels terrible and the brown sounded like it might fix it so that's what she did. When I was done she put some blonding shampoo to lighten the platinum strands so they'd stand out a little more and she left it on too long so my hair turned out looking brown and blue. Seriously ... brown and BLUE. I can now tell she almost wants to cry. I tell her to just let me come back the next day, I've already been there five hours, I haven't eaten all day and I'm tired. She says NO! I WON'T SLEEP AT ALL IF YOU DON'T LET ME FIX IT. SO, FINALLY, she puts A NICE WARM BROWN COLOR LIKE I FUCKING WANTED IN THE FIRST PLACE and it came out perfect. A whole 8 hour day and a hundred plus dollars later ...

When I get home, the hubs, as usual, doesn't even notice ... thinks it looks the same, it looked good the way it was, yeah yeah yeah WHATEVER. HE HAS NO IDEA HOW MUCH I PAID but I figure since I'm a short order cook/maid, slave and dishwasher, I figure I EARNED IT.

So, Friday we had planned to take a drive to visit Lauren and Dawn and see how they were coming along since the surgery. I took a big ol pot of my tortilla soup and some really yummy red velvet cupcakes. During the drive Danny asks me in his sarcastic little way "so, you think anyone will notice your hair?" (he asks me this because he's certain NO ONE will notice and because he thinks that the only reason I see a difference is because I'm delusional and psychotic) and I tell him that if anyone notices it will be Breanne cause Breanne is a girly girl (and in truth EVERYONE on earth would notice I colored my hair except Danny because when it comes to me, Danny never notices anything I do). We arrive. DING DONG. Breanne answers the door ... "YOU COLORED YOUR HAIR! I LIKE IT!" I turn to look at my husband with that expression I have that I'm sure he loathes ... and without uttering one word say "SEE. I WIN."

Comments

  1. Oh Lordy...Eric says the exact same thing "your hair looks fine"..yeah right. If Emily my girl didn't come to my house, stand in my kitchen for 2 hours and if Eric didn't have to walk around her to get to the the microwave...he wouldn't notice my hair either...Aye, aye, and aye.

    ps...let's see a picture... gorgeous!

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  2. Men are oblivious!!! They have no clue!! The only time they will notice is if you are walking out the door with your suitcases in your hands and leaving their sorry @$$es!!! LOL - Corinne

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  3. I wish I could say the same. JC notices EVERYTHING I do with my hair. I hate it cause I'd like it short, he wants it long. I cut a silly millimeter off and he knows. I think it looks terrible and he's telling me "if it looked bad I'd tell you, believe me". As soon as I get a few extra dollars, I'm gonna go have at least 2 inches cut off. I'll do it when he's busy but I promise, he'll notice.

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  4. Why or why is it sooooooo difficult for Danny to let you be you????? Afterall, you are the reason he fell in love with and married you. I suggest you take one of his bicycles or wetsuits, sell it on Ebay, then use the money to color your hair, get a new set of dishes.. with lids, a mani-pedi, and dinner with the girls. That is only fair as he did not have to, nor think to, ask for your permission to make any of those purchases.
    I'm just sayin..

    Sister-Friend

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  5. OK...I didn't write the above entry...but I totally agree...since when did you become so quiet...? ...and I'm just sayin' bun

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  6. Dear Debbie,
    I hope it's OK to comment here because I'm probably the only guy who does. But I really enjoy your posts, I guess because they are honest, and maybe because I know that men are really the ones who need to be reading it. I've been getting gray since just after high school. At first it was cool: made me look like a wizard or something. Now it's just old.

    I think sometimes people "think" they know you and see you in only one way or role and as result they treat in a sort of one dimensional way. Like kids forgetting their teachers are more than just teachers, moms are more than just moms. They forget they are humans with lives and dreams and feelings all their own that (shocking as it may be) are not always in reference to them.

    I read your stuff here, and I'm guessing I will appreciate it more than some people "familiar" with you.

    Keep it up.
    Ruben

    ReplyDelete

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DANNYLAND ...

Danny has this disgusting habit of brushing his teeth and then rinsing his toothbrush and leaving it ALL WET in the toothbrush thing.  (See photo below.  A roll of toilet paper he sets on the counter like a cup and then sticks his toothbrush in the middle of it) ... what a genius huh?

The point?  Adisgusting, wet toothbrush will collect bacteria and mosquitoes and it's disgusting and filthy.  It drives me crazy.  Does he stop?  NO.  


What you're supposed to do is brush, rinse with HOT water and then DRY THE BRUSH THOROUGHLY ... THEN put it in the toothbrush thing.  IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

And how hard is it to take the yogurt OUT of the plastic bag?


God forbid he break a sweat. 

 Also, he never EVER closes a drawer, a cabinet, or a door ... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Don't you HATE when your husband makes hamburgers ...




*sigh* ... my life.

OSCARS BEST AND WORST ...

Well, for some unknown reason I was unable to get E! Live on the Red Carpet!  I called the cable company, I unplugged the t.v. to reboot it ... NOTHING.  SO, I had to go with Channel 7's coverage which is NOT NEARLY AS IN DEPTH as E!  Needless to say Mama was pissed. 

So, with that in mind ... let's get started!


Alicia Vikander.  Beautiful!  She looks very young and sweet and elegant.  Love the color of this gown .... Grade:  A


Jennifer Lawrence.  BEAUTIFUL!  Love the hair, love the make up, love the the gown.  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A++


Brie Larson.  I'm not really feeling this gown.  The color is beautiful but the belt and the bling and the ruffles and the pleats ... there's a lot going on here.  Grade:  C



Nice guy Dave Grohl and wife.  Class Couple!  Love her dress and earrings ... very pretty. Dave .... it's the ACADEMY AWARDS .... a traditional tux would have worked much better and you would have looked SO HANDSOME.  Wife Grade:  A, Dave's Grade:…