Thursday, December 29, 2011

KRIS ...

you need to incorporate some color into your wardrobe dammit!!!

YOU LOOK LIKE A VAMPIRE. And while you're at it, lighten up the hair ... it looks like you color it with shoe polish.

and p.s. ... doesn't Bruce look like he's made of wax?

Wednesday, December 28, 2011


Well, I finally saw it! Went to the movie last night with Laura and Paulina and settled in for a real grown up film with intelligent dialogue. The film is visually beautiful and takes place during the early 1900's, one of my favorite periods. This is a film for the real movie aficionado. Not a blockbuster ride of a film that requires 3D glasses. It was thoughtful and provocative. Michael Fassbender played a very contained Carl Jung and I can tell you one thing, this guy is going to be a BIG, BIG STAR. I thought Keira Knightly overplayed it a bit in the beginning, but once she settled down did an effective job of portraying Sabina. Viggo, as always, was perfection. He could read from the telephone book and I'd deem it Oscar worthy. To all of you out there who enjoy a movie experience that engages, teaches, and makes you think, it's a must see. I give it a Solid A.

After the movie we went to grab a bite, a few martinis and enjoyed a gabfest ... my favorite thing to do. A real girls night. I don't get to do these very often now because I am UNEMPLOYED but my loving friend Laura, picked up the tab for the eats, so thank you Laura. Every girl needs a bunch of good girlfriends to get through difficult times and I have been very blessed to have such loving and caring friends.

To everyone who reads my blog, I thank you for coming by and visiting. I hope my little stories and rants make you laugh or make you feel normal, whichever you need. We all need to relate to one another because life can be cruel sometimes and the things we are able to share, whether joy or pain, are the things that unite us. I hope I can touch you in some way and I pray you all had a wonderful Christmas. I wish each and every one of you a safe and happy New Year and pray 2012 brings you all that you n
eed .... health, family, friends, and work. GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

Friday, December 23, 2011


I got up at 10:00 am. Trixie was barking so much I had no choice. I went downstairs, made coffee, sat on the couch and watched the “Twilight” movie. After that I watched an hour of cartoons. I feel like a slug. Took a shower, dried my hair, painted on some eyebrows. Contemplated going to the market. Nah. It’s already 2:30. I don’t wanna go outside. I do some laundry. Check my email. Nothing but junk. No one calls me or emails me and I feel very out of touch. I did however receive my unemployment debit card today. Yeah. Debit card … issued by Bank of America. BofA. You know, one of those institutions that all of us hardworking tax payers helped to bail out a few years ago? Yeah, them. Something is amiss in River City. Let’s pause a moment shall we … unemployment benefits are taken out of everyone’s pay for the sole purpose of tiding one over during a period of unemployment. How the hell does an institution like Bank of America get involved in this? I get my allotted $450 just by swiping my unemployment debit card where my unemployment funds are kept in a Bank of America account (?!?!?!?!??!) whenever I make a purchase for say food or toilet paper … what does BofA get out of this? I can’t imagine an institution of that size with that kind of power and influence (and criminality) not getting something. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if every time I swipe those bastards make $5.00. I mean after all, remember when the Occupy Wall Street people and the rest of America got pissed when Bank of America was going to start charging $5.00/month per swipe? The people said "No Way Jose to You Bank of America" then BING, BOOM, BANG, BofA decides not to implement that $5.00 a swipe after all. I'll bet you a bad case of Syphyllis that those bastards maneuvered a deal with the Fed so they could “recover” those “lost fees” … Just puttin’a bug in your ears.
Assholes. Imona write my Senator right now!!!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


Yesterday I had an entire can of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls. I stuck them in the oven, made coffee, waited until they were done, iced them, and then immediately shoved five of them down my mouth while watching the Wendy Williams show. I cannot even explain the warm, chewy, sweetness that filled my mouth ... I could compare it to a sexual release but that somehow seems inappropriate. There were a total of eight rolls. I had five. Rested, then had one more. Later that evening, after dinner when my husband lies on the couch and doesn't know I exist, I took the remaining two out of the microwave where I'd hidden behind two loaves of bread under a napkin and lovingly, and discreetly, enjoyed the last two. Did I feel guilty? No. Not one bit. I went upstairs, got comfy on my bed and proceeded to watch The Housewives of Beverly Hills. Life is good.

Sunday, December 18, 2011


So, let's pick up where we left off shall we. Me knocked out in Viggo's living room, dog yapping and I have no memory.


Viggo thinking ... "I had the craziest dream ...
about a little dog who ran up to me while I was in my yard and started barking and pulling at my pant leg. Then, all of a sudden, the little dog ran across the street, and there, lying on the pavement, was a lady, knocked out cold. So I took her in and she's been living with me ever since ????"


Thursday, December 15, 2011



Let's send him all our positive energy!

(... yes honey, I'd love to go to the award ceremony with you!)

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


My husband and I have an ongoing "discussion" regarding this economic crises we are in. He insists nothing will improve because we now live in a global economy and corporations have taken over. The jobs that have gone to China are never coming back. Period. My argument is that if enough people get pissed off, things can change. Well,it appears the people are pissed and have now started the Occupy movement which is growing and evolving and hopefully will actually morph into something positive and bring about the change we need. Getting the money out of politics. Which leads me to the following:

In October Danny and I took a wonderful vacation to the east coast.
I am a huge history buff and have always wanted to see Boston, Maine, Rhode Island, Vermont and New Hampshire. All of New England is amazingly beautiful. Of all the amazing places we visited Newport, Rhode Island stood out to me. Many have said that times we are living in today are comparable to the time of the Gilded Age ... when the robber barons ruled. The Vanderbilts, the Astors, the uber wealthy of the time. This is how they lived.

The Breakers, the Vanderbilt's summer "cottage" ...

Palaces so opulent and beautiful, dripping in gold and crystal, filled with artwork, sculptures, walls covered in silk with views of the coast so breathtaking it filled me with awe. THE WEALTH ... amazing. Every mansion we saw had spiral staircases hidden away within the bones of house that allowed the servants to move about without being seen. Laundry was done all day long, sheets were changed TWICE a day. They maintained huge staffs of 30 to 40 people. Maids, butlers, cooks, etc.

The ladies of the time bathed and changed constantly. There were morning outfits, luncheon outfits, riding outfits, afternoon outfits, evening outfits. It must have been exhausting being a lady of leisure. All I kept thinking to myself was that those women never walked around in a moo-moo with their junk hanging out. They were the Kardashians of their day. Showy, pretentious and desperately trying to outdo each other with their excess. People who never folded an article clothing or cleaned a toilet. The privilege they enjoyed is unimaginable. Can you imagine never folding a sweater? The marble tubs in their lavish bathrooms had to be filled and drained of hot water several times in order to warm the marble enough before someone's gilded ass could slide into the tub.

The staircase of Marble House. It is hard to appreciate the grandeur of these homes by looking at a photograph. At the top of this staircase on either side of the landing were two beautiful yet small living room/offices. The one of the left was that of Mr. Vanderbilt and the one on the right was that of Mrs. Alva Vanderbilt. It was a little jewel box of a room with a beautiful petite marble fireplace, a sofa in beautiful soft pinks of brocade and satin. There was a desk, gorgeous chandeliers and rich satin fabrics. This was where she would conduct the business of running her home and get away to read or be alone. What is shocking is that these homes were only used for approximately six weeks a year during the season when the super wealthy would gather to attend balls so glittering and over the top they were the talk of the day.

er spending the entire day touring three of these magnificent palaces I felt a little depressed. The pains of life come to all of us it's true; death, heartache and loss but the lives that these folks enjoyed were beyond fabulous. Cake AND frosting. No one calls you into their office and says we're sorry but we're eliminating your position ... Can you imagine what life would be like if your feelings of safety and security were never threatened? A life where no one ever says "NO" to you EVER?! All I could think was WOW ... WHAT A LIFE.

...and I hope that they are all now working for some corporation in
the bowels of hell ... for eternity. (But only the mean ones).

Monday, December 5, 2011


Doing press to promote his new movie "A Dangerous Method", I copied an excerpt of my Viggo's recent interview in the New York Times Magazine.
Looking less like his "Dangerous Method" character, Sigmund Freud, and more like his usual, Adonis-esque self, Viggo Mortensen covered Sunday's New York Times Style Magazine, where he spoke candidly about his grudge-holding habits when it comes to actors misbehaving on set. "Yeah, well, about that stuff, I am harsh," he says. "There’s no excuse for that behavior.
You’re tired? Come on! The crew isn’t tired? The crew who got here two hours before you, and who’ll be here two hours after you leave and who are being paid, in many cases, one thousandth of what you’re being paid? Come on! I always thought treating people well was probably the most important thing, but now I’m convinced. Life is too short to work with idiots — well, not idiots, but people who are rude and selfish."
I love him.
... you think he needs a secretary?

Friday, December 2, 2011


She's 42.
He's 24.

He looks like a horny little 14 year old.

Jennifer, word to the wise ... this is a drive by .... I'm just sayin'.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

BTW ....

It has been several weeks now that we've not seen head nor tail (aka GIGANTIC, HUMONGOUS ass) of Kimmie Kardashian ... and the world has continued to function ... and my blood pressure has gone down.