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A REPOST OF DAYS PAST ...

I wrote this in January 2012.  At that time I'd been unemployed for the second time in four years and was going on a year and a half with NO JOB, NO PROSPECTS, NO INTERVIEWS, NO NOTHING ... and I was really losing hope.  I hope you enjoy it. 


THE TEST

So, I had an appointment with the City of _________ (I'd tell you but I'm seriously afraid of retribution) anyway, I got the letter in the mail a few weeks ago informing me that I QUALIFIED and MET WITH THEIR REQUIREMENTS and was INVITED to TEST for the Executive Secretary Position.  After I came to from fainting due to shock that I actually heard back from someone, I was overcome with joy, gratitude, and hope.  That is until ... 

Today.  I just got home from the testing session.  First of all, the testing was scheduled for 6:00 p.m., which I thought was a little weird, but at the same time I was grateful because I am SO NOT A MORNING person ... especially if you're going to put me in a classroom setting which for me is the equivalent of taking an Ambien.

So, I arrive promptly, one half hour prior to the testing, as the letter suggested.  There were probably 70 people there all vying for ONE position.  Yes.  You read correctly.  ONE position.  I took a book because I cannot stand staring into space for even five seconds.    SO, after I took the time and effort to arrive one half hour early, to show "I care" and to make "an impression," the guy who was conducting the testing session apologizes because his colleague was running late and we couldn't start without her.  FUCKEN A!!!  Why is it there is ALWAYS ONE ASSHOLE who is late?!?!  Ugh!!  My biggest pet peeve of all time.  BE ON TIME DAMMIT! 

Also, consider this ... of these 70 people, imagine all of those who applied and were NOT invited to test.  I'd say three-hundred, easy. 


It was a room full of beaten down, been there done that, desperate looking people.  How I wish I had a video camera and could have gone around the room interviewing everyone and getting their stories.  Then, I'd write an opinion piece and send it to the White House.  I KNOW, I KNOW ... I'm just saying. 

So, the two gals at my table were employed, but both were dealing with horrendous drives and wanted to find something closer to home.  I didn't want to tell them but ... WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY LADIES!!!  Who doesn't want to work 10 minutes from home?!  One gal was in her mid-20's and the other was probably in her late 30's.  I'M FIFTY FUCKEN FIVE!  I spent my entire LIFE driving to and from work in horrible traffic every day for 30 years.  Cry me a fucken river.  (Gee, I just read this back and I sound so hostile).

There were one hundred questions on the test and I have to say that whenever I see one of those forms with those little circles that have to be filled in with a no. 2 pencil I get apoplectic.  It reminds me of all those tests I had to take in school to determine whether I was smart or dumb.  I never knew how I scored on any of those tests, but if my teachers opinions were correct, I was fairly certain that I was somewhere near the "dumb" category and "always interrupts and talks too much."  Bastards.


Test gets underway.  After about an hour and a half people start getting up to leave ... because they finished their test ... because they're smarter than I am, and because they can read faster and deduce better.  I immediately start to speed up.  See ... I can't help it ... I KNOW I'm smart, in my own way.  My mind is quick, in it's own way, but that is not what is being tested here.  If everyone were given an assignment to write a humorous blog about "being unemployed and trying to find a job" -- I would venture to guess that I'D ACE that assignment.  *SIGH* ... 

The gig pays about the same as my last job and they do provide "some" benefits (SOME?  That right there is suspect) ... they also told us they'd start scheduling interviews about two weeks after the test.  I tried not to laugh out loud when he said that ... 


So THAT, ladies and germs, was my latest foray into the land of the gainfully employed.  Wish me luck.  


THE END.
 

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DANNYLAND ...

Danny has this disgusting habit of brushing his teeth and then rinsing his toothbrush and leaving it ALL WET in the toothbrush thing.  (See photo below.  A roll of toilet paper he sets on the counter like a cup and then sticks his toothbrush in the middle of it) ... what a genius huh?

The point?  Adisgusting, wet toothbrush will collect bacteria and mosquitoes and it's disgusting and filthy.  It drives me crazy.  Does he stop?  NO.  


What you're supposed to do is brush, rinse with HOT water and then DRY THE BRUSH THOROUGHLY ... THEN put it in the toothbrush thing.  IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

And how hard is it to take the yogurt OUT of the plastic bag?


God forbid he break a sweat. 

 Also, he never EVER closes a drawer, a cabinet, or a door ... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Don't you HATE when your husband makes hamburgers ...




*sigh* ... my life.

OSCARS BEST AND WORST ...

Well, for some unknown reason I was unable to get E! Live on the Red Carpet!  I called the cable company, I unplugged the t.v. to reboot it ... NOTHING.  SO, I had to go with Channel 7's coverage which is NOT NEARLY AS IN DEPTH as E!  Needless to say Mama was pissed. 

So, with that in mind ... let's get started!


Alicia Vikander.  Beautiful!  She looks very young and sweet and elegant.  Love the color of this gown .... Grade:  A


Jennifer Lawrence.  BEAUTIFUL!  Love the hair, love the make up, love the the gown.  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A++


Brie Larson.  I'm not really feeling this gown.  The color is beautiful but the belt and the bling and the ruffles and the pleats ... there's a lot going on here.  Grade:  C



Nice guy Dave Grohl and wife.  Class Couple!  Love her dress and earrings ... very pretty. Dave .... it's the ACADEMY AWARDS .... a traditional tux would have worked much better and you would have looked SO HANDSOME.  Wife Grade:  A, Dave's Grade:…