Wednesday, October 23, 2013

LETTER FROM ME TO MARIA KANG .... a repost with a message


WOW.  So six years ago this gal posted this picture of herself with a letter to all the ladies who were sending her hate.  This was my response (on behalf of all women who aren't perfect) ….


NOW …. six years later, Ms. Kang has grown a heart and lost an ego and has come clean.  Her "apology" is at the end of this post.  


ALL I CAN SAY IS … IT'S GOOD TO BE RIGHT.  Anyone seeking such perfection, whether it is in how they look, or how much they have, or how brilliant they are, seriously has issues.  The purpose in life is to LIVE it.  Embrace everything.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  We're all here on this planet dealing with a lot of shit.  The thing we SHOULD do is be KIND, COMPASSIONATE, and EMPATHETIC.  Not unconscious, judgmental, and opinionated all the while saying LOOK AT ME.  THAT hurts people.  And I am not into hurting people.  It seems like Ms. Kang has had an epiphany.  I congratulate her for humbling herself enough to apologize to those she offended.  It takes a big person to admit they were wrong.  GOOD FOR YOU MARIA 

This original post is from October 2013.


This gal right here … Maria Kang … posted her picture on her Facebook page (because she KNOWS she looks fabulous but more about that later) and got a ton of hate mail for causing "fat shaming."  This was Ms. Maria’s response to the haters.
I've been getting an influx of new followers, emails and comments (on my profile pic) recently. Some saying I'm a bully, I'm fat-shaming and I need to apologize for the hurt I've caused women. I get it. SO here's my First and Final Apology:
I'm sorry you took an image and resonated with it in such a negative way. I won't go into details that I struggled with my genetics, had an eating disorder, work full time owning two business's, have no nanny, am not naturally skinny and do not work as a personal trainer. I won't even mention how I didn't give into cravings for ice cream, french fries or chocolate while pregnant or use my growing belly as an excuse to be inactive.  

 What I WILL say is this. What you interpret is not MY fault. It's Yours. The first step in owning your life, your body and your destiny is to OWN the thoughts that come out of your own head. I didn't create them. You created them. So if you want to continue 'hating' this image, get used to hating many other things for the rest of your life. You can either blame, complain or obtain a new level of thought by challenging the negative words that come out of your own brain.

With that said, obesity and those who struggle with health-related diseases is literally a 'bigger' issue than this photo. Maybe it's time we stop tip-toeing around people's feelings and get to the point. So What's Your Excuse? - Maria Kang

IS THAT RIGHT?    

Dear Ms. Kang:

I have often found that women like you are usually barfing after every meal while trying to convince the rest of the world that they exercise, eat right and drink lots of water.  Horseshit.  (p.s. you’ve already stated that you had an eating disorder – Bulimia … SEE?  That right there says a lot).  And how do we know that you’re still not Bulimic?  Anorexics and Bulimics are people who are expert at lying about their dirty secret and have an obsession with being perfect.  They tend to have very black and white viewpoints and are very judgmental of others.  There are never any gray areas in life …. except of course, when it pertains to them.  It is a deep self-loathing.  Now there is nothing wrong with wanting to be fit and healthy.  The problem is when you flaunt yourself by posting your picture with the statement “What’s Your Excuse?”  You could have done without that.  It was really snarky and it only pisses people off.  Which I think you know.  But you said it anyway.  Whatever. 
I read that you do not watch t.v., get up at 6 am and work out six days a week for a couple of hours and when you’re at the park with your kids you’re working out, not on your iPhone … like all the fat moms.  OK.  THAT’S YOU.  Other mom’s wanna be on their iPhone while they’re at the park and NOT work out … SO WHAT'S IT TO YOU???  

How can a person run two businesses, raise three kids with NO nanny and still maintain such a serious work out regimen?  You are obviously a control freak.  Now to be quite honest, I was one of those lucky gals with a high metabolism and I never, EVER had to watch my weight.  I was a size 5 almost my entire adult life until I got married at 39 and then I turned into a big, fat cow (ok I’m exaggerating a little but suffice it to say I am no longer a size 5).  The main reason for my weight gain was because I was cooking dinner EVERY.  SINGLE.  DAY.  And then I turned 40.  Turning 40 changes everything.  This is something you would not know because you're not 40.  But you will be.  Soon enough.


When I was young and thin I remember how badly I would feel when people would ask me questions like “DAMN … DON’T YOU EVER EAT?!” or “DAMN, YOU’RE SO TINY!”  It wasn’t a compliment.  It was more like an accusation.  I never worried about my weight or owned a scale.  Now that I’m fat, I understand why others were envious of me.  However, I NEVER flaunted my weight.  EVER.  I’m 56 now and I have a right to be fat if I want to be.  Or not be fat.  But I don’t get on a pedestal and tell other people they shouldn’t be fat.  IT’S CALLED EMPATHY MS. KANG.  

I once had a friend who lied to everyone about how she maintained her weight.  She had everyone convinced that she worked out/ate right/and drank lots of water.  And she LOVED talking about her body.  All the while she was secretly Anorexic and taking laxatives.  She also had ZERO empathy with regard to ANYONE who was overweight.  She joked/laughed/ridiculed and was basically pretty mean to fat people.  I once told her how I felt and she almost bit my head off by barking “IF I WORK MY ASS OFF TO BE IN SHAPE THEN THEY SHOULD TO!!!!!”  Uh … No they shouldn’t.  People are not fat to personally offend you.  And if we all know how hard it is to lose 10 pounds, can you imagine losing 20 or 30?  I couldn’t stand that about her.  

So Ms. Kang, understand one thing.  People don’t hate you because you’re thin and beautiful.  They hate you because you’re full of yourself.  Anyone who posts six hundred thousand pictures of themselves all over the internet seriously needs to get a grip.  
  
Signed,

Fat in L.A.
 
SMOOCHES!








THE NEW MARIA:

(Taken from MSN website) today (August 2019)




"Dear followers, I'm sorry," Kang, 38, said in a Facebook and Instagram post. "I don't like regrets, but I have a few in life. As I look at my scarred, numb and deflated breasts today, I regret ever thinking they weren't good enough. I fell into the insecurity trap." 



After discussing her years-ago battles with depression, bulimia and body dysmorphia, Kang said it was vanity that led her to objectify her own body and ultimately go under the knife. "I'm sorry for my presence — for unconsciously normalizing an unnatural body standard, not expressing my challenges with body image and not being strong enough to unfix this years ago."


In an interview with Know Your Value, Kang—whose "whole attitude is 'no apologies, no excuses,'"—said her apology wasn't premeditated but felt necessary to share as she recovers from the implant-removal surgery completed on June 27.

"When I sat down to write the post, I didn't think I was going to apologize; I was just writing," said Kang. "But then I saw my scars and I thought, 'What am I feeling in this moment?' And it was, 'I'm sorry.'"

Specifically, Kang felt sorry not only to her own body "for disrespecting it, not honoring it," but also for other women who promote unrealistic standards to others through their messaging. Kang said she's felt that pressure herself—from her pageant days in her 20s through today's "Instagram fitness model" standards.

Kang, who lives in Elk Grove, California, with her husband and sons who are now 10, 9 and 7, had the breast augmentation surgery in 2003. She liked how they looked; she felt they finally gave her the proportions she wanted.

"I had a great physique but it wasn't possible to have breasts while being so lean," Kang said. "That's where I get mad at what I've promoted, because there's nothing natural about that. You can't attain it through fitness."
Though she liked how she looked with the implants, Kang also remembers feeling "disconnected" from that part of her body. She lost sensation in her nipples. And by the time she had the implants removed 16 years later, she had experienced years of what she believes are implant side effects that became worse over the past year: chest pressure, heart palpitations and fatigue.

"I was scared of the surgery and that I wouldn't feel as sexual after, but when I woke up I felt free," Kang said. "It was incredible to feel like, this is my body. All me. I haven't felt like that since [I got the implants] when I was 23."

Kang felt similarly liberated when posting her apology on Tuesday.

"When I clicked 'post' I felt free, the same way I did when I got rid of the boobs," Kang said. "But I also felt vulnerable. I lost a piece of me again, the part that's all about 'no apologies.' But I'm going to own my journey. I can start making a more positive impact."
Kang had already softened her message in 2018, recreating her original "What's your excuse?" photo five years later with a new caption: "What's your reason?" At the time, she told TODAY she felt "it's important to address your excuse, but it's more important to address your motivation"—and that she had become more flexible with her own workout regimen.

Today Kang still believes "I'm body positive in that you have to prioritize eating well and exercising, and that hasn't changed."

But, she added that she now sees "the biggest thing is to treat yourself with love and respect. It's not about how you look, it's about how you feel, and we can't idolize fake physiques while expecting women to feel good about themselves."

AMEN SISTA!  

6 comments:

  1. If she is truly confident and secure about herself, she wouldn't have to say/post things like this. Flaunting and sharing for recognition shows nothing but your insecurity and jealousy about other people that you have to flaunt or show people how great you look to get a confirmation that you look as good you think you do.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for commenting Haydee. I am glad you understood where I was coming from. She could have easily said something like "You Can Do It!" instead of "What's Your Excuse?" SNARKY SNARKY SNARKY.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good for her she's perfect! Not a care in the world. Perfect body perfect kids perfect life.

    Perfect nonsense.

    People who fill the need to use social media to post photos of themselves while patting themselves on the back have all sorts of issues they need to deal with. I mean if she wants the acceptance of strangers on the internet I would wonder how many folks she truly knows that don't like her?

    She craves the attention so something's missing in her life. She oughta work on THAT instead of bragging about her "perfect" life.

    Oh, and she's a bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Google her name. SHE'S ALL OVER THE INTERNET. PICTURES PICTURES PICTURES, ME ME ME. UGH.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Remind me to never piss you off. LOL!
    I used to be super thin. Mostly because I smoked and drank coffee. Once I stopped that stuff (oh I still have coffee) I had to work hard at just maintaining. It's leveled out now, but I'm far from thin. I'm healthy. A little curvy. (Ok, lumpy) Who cares, I'm 45 and married. Whatever.

    My SIL is so rail thin because she thinks it's attractive. Not the least bit healthy and with cold and flu season just around the corner, I'm afraid one bug might just take her right out. She obsesses constantly about what she puts into her body and how hard she works. If she spent even half that time cultivating relationships, she might be a decent person.

    Women are taught from an early age to hate their bodies, fat or thin. It's our society. Then we end up hating other women for their bodies. I can see why Maria Kang keeps getting knocked up with that figure...her husband probably won't leave her alone! Lol! I say have at it, if you want to spend your life exercising or puking or eating exlax brownies. Just don't say anything to me when I'm putting cream cheese on my toast and cream in my coffee.
    -heartinhand

    ReplyDelete
  6. Exactly! Do YOUR thing and let me do MINE. She is a beautiful girl, no doubt, great body, but her message was so snarky. She could have been much more compassionate and encouraging instead of saying "what's your excuse?"

    And you never have to worry about pissing me off LOL. I'm really a very nice person. REALLY :)

    ReplyDelete

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