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THINGS THAT MAKE MY EYES ROLL ...


This is Amy
So I was playing around on Facebook the other day and happened upon the brilliant Amy Ferris (writer/blogger and person extraordinaire) who happened to mention that Suzanne Somers says she and her husband have sex three times a day.  Now Suzanne is all about the sexy and she wants us to be all about the sexy too.  (eyes rolling).  Suzanne Somers takes hormones so she can be sexy, which also means that she still gets a period.  At 66.  ANY MORON WHO STILL WANTS TO GET A PERIOD AT 66 DESERVES TO HAVE SEX THREE TIMES A DAY.  As for me, I don’t.  I prefer to remember when I was young and sexy and DID have sex three times a day.  I couldn’t get enough sex.  But that was then.  Now I’m 56.  I do not want to have sex three times a day.  I really don’t.  And no amount of hormones and Pilates is going to make me want to have sex three times a day.  I think Suzanne just wants the rest of us middle aged broads to feel jealous that she is having sex three times a day when the reality is most women who are 66 do not want to have sex three times a day and think Suzanne Somers is an idiot.
 
So Suzanne if you want to take your hormones and buy tampons every month and have sex three times a day, knock yourself out.  But don’t tell the entire world about it ok.  We really don’t care.  You and your diet books and your sexy advice can go jump off a cliff.  It’s called “LIFE” Suzanne.  You’re young, then you’re old.  DEAL WITH IT.  And one day, you’re actually going to die.  You gotta deal with that too.  That’s why you have to take hormones to be sexy.  Because you’re not supposed to be sexy at 66.  You MORON. 
 
Thoughts?  Anyone?
 
 
 

Comments

  1. I think Suzanne needs a swift kick in the teeth with a ThighMaster™ because she's full of it.

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    Replies
    1. Well said ... and I'd pay to see that. She's such a liar Bob ... she's totally had fillers and Botox and lipo.

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  2. But if she didn't we wouldn't have this wonderful blog to make us laugh and get us through our day! Thanks Debbie

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  3. I agree with you on almost everything. While I certainly don't aspire to having sex three times a day, I fully plan on being sexy at 66! Why not? And what's sexier than being able to have your way in the sack and NEVER have to worry about bloodying up the sheets again???

    Periods are a design flaw, I'm convinced. Even God was thinking, "Oops, I fucked up with that."

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    Replies
    1. Linda, was SO FUCKEN HAPPY when my period FINALLY stopped! I was FIFTY FIVE!!

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  4. First of all, I don't believe that she has sex 3 times a day. Who the hell wants sex 3x/day at 66??? Who wants it 3x/day at 46, or 56!!!!??? Who the hell has TIME for sex 3x/day? I do have to say, though, that I respect her challenging a lot of traditional doctors' approaches regarding a health regimen. She takes about 150 supplements a day--literally---and says she gags each time, but that it's worth it. That gets my gag reflex just thinking about it. I mean, she DOES look amaze-balls. Hormones do benefit your skin. Some people are just totally self-absorbed.

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    Replies
    1. Eenie ... 150 supplements a day?! That is CRAZY. Also, you KNOW she's had fillers and Botox and even lipo. The Enquirer actually caught her leaving her plastic surgeon's office. I hate liars. Though I LOVE Botox. I gotta start doing that again. I had to quit when I was poor.

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    2. Oh yeah, she's had all of the work--of course!! I love Botox too. I'm going to get my son to inject it! Finally, a price that I can afford!! I just don't want my eyebrows to look like Spock's!

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    3. YOU LUCKY!!!!!!!!! Hey ... you think he could mail me some of that shit?

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  5. Do you think that guy in the photo is banging her three times a day without Viagra? She's full of shit. She's just another media whore who just wants to sell books.

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    Replies
    1. RIGHT?! Alan Hamill is well into his 70's! ICK.

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  6. I'm still fairly young and a newlywed.. But if I had sex 3 times a day, I'd ask for a divorce... Not possible. That would mean i would have to shave my legs daily. No thanks

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    Replies
    1. LMAO!!!! So true! Who wants to shave their legs every day .... just in case?

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