Last year at this time I had no job. Member? You all remember. Now, I am proud to say I am coming upon my one year anniversary at my current job and lo and behold, I still really love it. All except for one thing ... my drive to and from work. That ... I hate. Every morning, no matter how much traffic there may be I always get to work at the same time. Approximately 45 minutes from door to door. Going home ... another fuckin' story. An hour plus. You'd think I lived on Mt. Baldy! ... I'm only 15 miles from my office ... which in L.A. CAN TAKE LIKE A DAY AND A HALF TO TRAVEL. This is due mostly to the fact there are 8 billion cars in California and they all crowd onto the streets at 5:00 pm. That, and the fact these 8 billion cars are all travelling at the same speed of about 4 mph with a top speed of about 19 mph ... on the freeway or surface streets. It makes no difference. You're at a red light. Light turns green, you wait for approximately 16 seconds before cars start advancing forward and then you finally start to make progress, you press your foot down on the gas, you get up to 5 mph with the intention of punching it up to 35 or 40 but noooooooo. That is not possible. Because even though you can see seventeen miles of open road ahead, there is that one asshole that is driving 12 miles BELOW the speed limit on a two lane highway and NO ONE can pass him. This is the person you want to shoot in the brain ... but only for ten minutes ... for being an asshole.
Being annoyed with this person is not enough for me. I find myself forming a real negative attachment to that driver. Like I try really hard to catch up to him so I can pass him and then look at him with the stink eye and then slowly shake my head ... communicating WHAT AN ASSHOLE I THINK HE IS! And then, after I get ahead of him, I look in my rear-view mirror every few minutes just to leer at him ... "look at him! ALL the way back there! Holding everybody up! Asshole! I hate people like that. No sense of urgency. I MEAN, DON'T YOU WANNA GO HOME YOU MORON!
And another thing ... why is it that these automobiles always seem to float? ... like they're not really wheel to asphalt ... they just kinda lumber along in blissful ignorance when there are other people who want nothing more than to GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! And you can't because that tool is in front of you. UGH. Sometimes I wish I had a Sherman Tank - I'd just run all those jerk-offs off the road! PERIOD. END OF STORY. But other than that ... I'm pretty happy.