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Housewives Recap

On last week's episode Jill called a vet who makes house calls to come up to her fabulous apartment to check on Ginger, her ugly Chihuahua. I guess the dog had been acting weird and Jill needed someone to take a look at her. Well, the dog got all panicky and began crapping everywhere. Yikes. Jill spent the entire episode cleaning her carpet, the couch, and the vet's assistant's shoes ... which she promptly washed IN THE SINK ... thankful that they were made of plastic (?????) huh ... ok. Turns out Ginger was fine. However, Jill is still hanging on to some serious resentment over Bethenny. I think it is quite telling how quickly Jill gravitated to The Countess when her marriage went kaput and now they're BFF's. It seems that Jill really does like hanging around the underdog as Ramona said last season.


Okay, the Countess is really starting to piss me off. She is such a Fi-Fi La-La. This latest episode we tag along with The Countess as she looks for an apartment "in the city". She tells us that she's used to living a certain lifestyle in NYC blah blah blah, and then she's all shocked at the prices of the apartments she wants to buy/rent. WTF. Aren't you a Countess? Weren't you married to a Count? Aren't you the one who says you never feel guilty about being privileged? Don't tell me the the Count has you on a budget?! That doesn't sound very Countess-like. We then see her meeting with her realtor wherein she gives her all the specifics about the space she is looking for .... she wants high ceilings, and a fireplace, and a balcony to go outside and she wants an office, and she doesn't like galley style kitchens, and she wants to be up high but not too high, but she doesn't want to be so low that she's looking at a brick wall. Oh, and she must have a doorman. Keep in mind that this broad as a gorgeous home in the Hamptoms ... but she just can't live there full-time because she'd go crazy without the excitement of ... THE CITY. Someone needs a bitch-slap.

Okay, I am totally Team Bethenny and girlfriend is definitely on an upswing. Newly engaged to wonderful Jason and happy happy happy ... and I'm happy for her too. She's dealt with the Jill situation and has made sincere attempts to set things straight but Jill is adamant that she doesn't want her friendship. So in my opinion - fugghedaboutit. OVER ... she tried ... you lose Jill. Then, later in the episode all the Housewives were at a tres chic party. The ladies were seated on a couch and the second Bethenny arrived Jill picked up her toys and left the area which I thought was rude rude rude. Then Bethenny makes her announcement that she is engaged and now Jill feels like crappola. NOW she has a dilemma. Does she congratulate Bethenny insincerely ... or doe she just leave and run the risk of ruining her reputation even more? She opted to congratulate her ... insincerely.

I know I say it all the time but Kelly Bensimon is SO UNBELIEVABLY DUMB I can't help it. Dumb dumb dumb! She can't even make pancakes. At the tres chic party that all the ladies attended, we see Kelly arrive in BOOM SHAKA LAKA LAKA ... the shortest dress I have ever seen. It barely covered her lady parts. It looked like a postage stamp with sleeves. Also, she's gotta STOP that self-tanning crap. She looks way too orange. And ... can I just say those legs of hers look like something a horse would use to count with.

I don't think Ramona's little girl likes it when Ramona focuses attention on herself .. like this whole renewing of her vows ceremony she wants to have. It's very obvious that she thinks her mother is a nut case. I think the little girl feels a lot of pressure from her mother to do certain things for her ... like be her maid of honor ... which she doesn't seem to want to do. Ramona is just a whole lot of crazy but she's the one you watch because you never know what she's gonna say or do.

As for Alex and Simon - these days ... I like them. I really like them. Alex is the only houseswife who is even remotely authentic. So for now ... I'm on her team to.

That's all folks!
p.s. New Jersey Housewives starts next week!



Comments

  1. Jill annoys me. The Countess really annoys me. Ramona needs a tranquilizer-i'm tired every time I look at her big bulging eyes. Thanks for the recap because now I don't have to watch on DVR. BTW-I will watch Jersey until they piss me off too. Now that Danielle REALLY annoys me!!!!

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DANNYLAND ...

Danny has this disgusting habit of brushing his teeth and then rinsing his toothbrush and leaving it ALL WET in the toothbrush thing.  (See photo below.  A roll of toilet paper he sets on the counter like a cup and then sticks his toothbrush in the middle of it) ... what a genius huh?

The point?  Adisgusting, wet toothbrush will collect bacteria and mosquitoes and it's disgusting and filthy.  It drives me crazy.  Does he stop?  NO.  


What you're supposed to do is brush, rinse with HOT water and then DRY THE BRUSH THOROUGHLY ... THEN put it in the toothbrush thing.  IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

And how hard is it to take the yogurt OUT of the plastic bag?


God forbid he break a sweat. 

 Also, he never EVER closes a drawer, a cabinet, or a door ... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Don't you HATE when your husband makes hamburgers ...




*sigh* ... my life.

OSCARS BEST AND WORST ...

Well, for some unknown reason I was unable to get E! Live on the Red Carpet!  I called the cable company, I unplugged the t.v. to reboot it ... NOTHING.  SO, I had to go with Channel 7's coverage which is NOT NEARLY AS IN DEPTH as E!  Needless to say Mama was pissed. 

So, with that in mind ... let's get started!


Alicia Vikander.  Beautiful!  She looks very young and sweet and elegant.  Love the color of this gown .... Grade:  A


Jennifer Lawrence.  BEAUTIFUL!  Love the hair, love the make up, love the the gown.  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A++


Brie Larson.  I'm not really feeling this gown.  The color is beautiful but the belt and the bling and the ruffles and the pleats ... there's a lot going on here.  Grade:  C



Nice guy Dave Grohl and wife.  Class Couple!  Love her dress and earrings ... very pretty. Dave .... it's the ACADEMY AWARDS .... a traditional tux would have worked much better and you would have looked SO HANDSOME.  Wife Grade:  A, Dave's Grade:…