SO, week nine thousand of working from home. Today is my marital unit’s birthday. He has taken the week off … of course, I love him to death … but not 24/7.
So, for his birthday we have decided since we can’t go out or do anything because of the Corona Virus, we're going to make some really good steaks, a Caesar salad, baked potatoes, brussel sprouts, and garlic bread here at home. Cozy huh.
SO … since I am handcuffed to my computer he has offered to go to the market.
Dan: “What do you want?” he asks.
Me: “Let me make you a list.”
So, I write down all the cleaning products I desperately need and know they won't have, but I write them down anyway. And then I remember!
Me: "OH! AND BRING ME A COUPLE OF NOTEPADS!!!
(You see, I have gone through every notepad that I brought from work and I have NOTHING to write on and when one is working from home and one only has one computer screen, BELIEVE ME, YOU NEED NOTEPADS. SO, he says ...
Dan: “WAIT! …. (Twilight Zone theme) nanananananananananana ….
you are now entering "Dannyland ..."
Dan: “You have a tone of notepads here! Look!"
And he goes into a drawer pulls out about eight notepads THAT HAVE ALL BEEN WRITTEN ON and then I say, but they’ve ALL BEEN WRITTEN ON and then he says “NO" and then he begins tearing out every page with writing leaving the 5 or 6 or 7 pages that are clean insisting that I have notepads and I shouldn’t waste money on buying new ones.
SO, I silently implode while listening to him tear out page after page after page of each notepad. When he's done with that little project I then see him wandering around the living room ...
Me: "Don’t tell me. You lost the list I wrote you huh?
Dan: Yup.
MORAL OF STORY: WHY THE FUCK DON’T YOU EVER, EVER JUST DO WHAT I ASK YOU TO? HUH? Why? Just humor me … BUY ME THE FUCKING NOTEPADS! Don't go through a bunch of foochie old notepads that only leave me three pages to write on!!! GAWD! How much could three notepads possibly cost??!?! GOD KILL ME RIGHT NOW.
Today, I am feeling your pain.
ReplyDeleteOh dear lord! Dannyland seems to be Balder Halfville adjacent! Don't get me started on my specifically asking for Rephresh gel, and NOT Replens moisturizer (both feminine stuff). I stressed the differences. Both are good products, but I NEEDED the one and NOT, the other! Needless to say (I'm sayin it anyway) I ended up with the moisturizer because, wait for it, there are eight applications at a cheaper price than the four applications of the gel. Well, I now have both because my active bitch face made an appearance . There may have been ear smoke. Sorry for unloading, but you need to know that you are not alone :) You almost lost me at brussels sprouts, but I weathered the ick storm and made it to the oh so hilarious other side. Oh, and every room in my house has a metaphorical forehead imprint in the walls.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!
DeletePEEING IN MY PANTS WITH THIS COMMENT ... Well, I now have both because my active bitch face made an appearance ... LMAO!!!
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