Skip to main content

WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT BY EATING HEALTHY AND EXERCISING AND YOUR HUSBAND ALWAYS, ALWAYS EATS YOUR CEREAL ...

So ... week number two (or three, hell I don't know) ... I get home from work, late as usual.  Because I'm dieting I decide "I know ... I'll have a bowl of cereal for dinner!" (insert happy face).  I had a big salad for lunch and I wasn't terribly hungry so I figured cereal would work.  Danny was already home from the gym (he can do this you see, because he has a wife who cooks and cleans and removes the oily urine stains from the toilet bowl) and I don't have a wife so I have to fit MY workouts in between laundry, cooking, cleaning, dusting, vacuuming, shopping, etc., et al. my life my life, omg my life.  I go upstairs to take a shower because I'm beat.

After my relaxing shower I descend the stairs, looking forward to my bowl of cereal.  As I'm almost all the way down I see Dan.  He sees me.  And at the same exact moment our eyes lock, faster than a bat outta hell he throws the cereal box on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table, hoping against hope that I have not seen him THROWING MY CEREAL BOX ON THE FLOOR.   He looks at me.  Mouth mid-chew.  He doesn't move.  Like a bird caught in the cross-hairs of a cats menacing stare.  He is STILL.  QUIET.  LOOKING AT ME.  Waiting.  I look at him.  Eyes narrowed.  Time stands still.  A minute passes.  Then ...

Dan:  "What?" (crunch).







Comments

Post a Comment

GO ON, TELL ME WHAT YOU REALLY THINK ...

Popular posts from this blog

HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

An Ode to Viggo
Who knows where or when my love for you began it took me by surprise and filled up my whole life
Some laughed and called me mad but I knew that was sad for love cannot be mocked and Viggo, my world rocked
I've seen his every film, his songs, his poems and still I love him more each day and that's how it will stay  for in my dreams he lives
Each step through ether's door we meet forever more and so shall it remain until my life should wane
- Signed Debbie Nunez Mortensen :) (yes, I know I'm weird)






























DANNYLAND ...

Danny has this disgusting habit of brushing his teeth and then rinsing his toothbrush and leaving it ALL WET in the toothbrush thing.  (See photo below.  A roll of toilet paper he sets on the counter like a cup and then sticks his toothbrush in the middle of it) ... what a genius huh?

The point?  Adisgusting, wet toothbrush will collect bacteria and mosquitoes and it's disgusting and filthy.  It drives me crazy.  Does he stop?  NO.  


What you're supposed to do is brush, rinse with HOT water and then DRY THE BRUSH THOROUGHLY ... THEN put it in the toothbrush thing.  IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

And how hard is it to take the yogurt OUT of the plastic bag?


God forbid he break a sweat. 

 Also, he never EVER closes a drawer, a cabinet, or a door ... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Don't you HATE when your husband makes hamburgers ...




*sigh* ... my life.

OSCARS BEST AND WORST ...

Well, for some unknown reason I was unable to get E! Live on the Red Carpet!  I called the cable company, I unplugged the t.v. to reboot it ... NOTHING.  SO, I had to go with Channel 7's coverage which is NOT NEARLY AS IN DEPTH as E!  Needless to say Mama was pissed. 

So, with that in mind ... let's get started!


Alicia Vikander.  Beautiful!  She looks very young and sweet and elegant.  Love the color of this gown .... Grade:  A


Jennifer Lawrence.  BEAUTIFUL!  Love the hair, love the make up, love the the gown.  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A++


Brie Larson.  I'm not really feeling this gown.  The color is beautiful but the belt and the bling and the ruffles and the pleats ... there's a lot going on here.  Grade:  C



Nice guy Dave Grohl and wife.  Class Couple!  Love her dress and earrings ... very pretty. Dave .... it's the ACADEMY AWARDS .... a traditional tux would have worked much better and you would have looked SO HANDSOME.  Wife Grade:  A, Dave's Grade:…