So ... week number two (or three, hell I don't know) ... I get home from work, late as usual. Because I'm dieting I decide "I know ... I'll have a bowl of cereal for dinner!" (insert happy face). I had a big salad for lunch and I wasn't terribly hungry so I figured cereal would work. Danny was already home from the gym (he can do this you see, because he has a wife who cooks and cleans and removes the oily urine stains from the toilet bowl) and I don't have a wife so I have to fit MY workouts in between laundry, cooking, cleaning, dusting, vacuuming, shopping, etc., et al. my life my life, omg my life. I go upstairs to take a shower because I'm beat.
After my relaxing shower I descend the stairs, looking forward to my bowl of cereal. As I'm almost all the way down I see Dan. He sees me. And at the same exact moment our eyes lock, faster than a bat outta hell he throws the cereal box on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table, hoping against hope that I have not seen him THROWING MY CEREAL BOX ON THE FLOOR. He looks at me. Mouth mid-chew. He doesn't move. Like a bird caught in the cross-hairs of a cats menacing stare. He is STILL. QUIET. LOOKING AT ME. Waiting. I look at him. Eyes narrowed. Time stands still. A minute passes. Then ...
Dan: "What?" (crunch).
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RIP Dan.
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