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2014 EMMY AWARDS ....

OK whose idea was it to have the damn Emmys on a MONDAY???!!!  First of all traffic downtown was insane, I didn't get home until late, I missed the entire Red Carpet arrivals ... it ruined my entire viewing experience SO I am merely posting pictures I saw on the internet and giving my comments. 

Alexandra Daddio - what a BEAUTIFUL GIRL!  I don't know who she is or what she's on but she is absolutely gorgeous and I love her gown.  I'm giving her a big fat A!


(on second thought ... she looks kinda naked).



Allison Janey.  She looks beautiful.  Love the makeup and the hair.  The color of this gown is not my favorite but she has a rockin' body and looks great. 
Grade:  B-

  

Christina Hendricks.  What a mess.  The hair is terrible.  The make up is awful, the dress has too much going on and it looks wrinkly and ill fitting.  Looks like a tacky prom dress she bought at Windsor.  She's got too much jewelry on and it clashes with that tacky applique thing on the side of the dress.  Grade:  F-


OK.  The dress is terrible and that thing at the neck looks like a dead lei.  The side panels look weird ... the dress is a mish mash of ideas that didn't quite come together.  Claire, please please hire yourself a stylist.  You're not a bad looking girl but you gotta learn how to pull yourself together.  Grade:  F-


I love love love me some Gwen Stefani!  I love her hair down like this.  It looks sexy and gives her an entirely different look.  However, this outfit looks like a sparkly set of tacky pajamas.  The top .... I'm thinking Star Trek ... and that fabric?  You're better than this Gwen. Grade:  F-


Hayden Panettiere.  Beautiful pregnant girl.  Enough said.  Grade:  A+



Giuliana Margolies.  She always looks very chic, very elegant, very simple.  What can I say - she gets an A.  It's boring ... but it's an A.



Halle Berry ALWAYS nails it.  I don't think I've ever seen her look less than perfect.  Grade:  A+++ WINNER WINNER WINNER.  The rest of you should take notes.  




This kind of looks like Heidi Klum but I can't be sure ... I don't see any boobs?????  This MUST be an imposter. 


MAN CANDY.  Idris Elba YUM YUM.  Elegant, handsome, beautiful.  Grade: A+
 p.s.  (562) 695-4402.  Call me.  Maybe.


Kayley Cuoco.  This is a very pretty gown.  Love the pink and red (it seemed everyone was in red this year) however, something is missing? Jewels? Better makeup?  I don't know ... it is lacking something.  Perhaps a pair of gorgeous chandelier earrings?  The dress gets an A, the overall look ... Grade: C-
 

 
This is kind of sweet.  I'm thinking buttercups and daffodils.  Grade:  B-


 
Amy Pohler - looking very glam!  Love the dress, love the make up, love the hair.  Body is rockin' ... Grade:  A- 

 
Angela Bassett.  A vision in white with gold accents.  Me likeeee!  Grade:  B

 
Anna Gunn.  Mhmmm ... WHITE and BLUE????   Grade:  D-  (at least she won the Emmy). 

 
"My Girls" Anna Chlumsky.  BEAUTIFUL.  This gown has a very 1940's feel.  I love it.  It looks elegant and flowey.  She looks great - not many can pull off white like this.  Grade:  A

 
Edie Falco.  I LOVE this gown!  Love the color, the style, everything.  Edie looks fabulous.  Love the longer hair and her makeup is beautiful.  Winner Winner!!
Grade:  A+

 
Felicity Huffman.  Love this.  Very elegant.  She has a fantastic body.  Though it's simple, it still wows.  The bag is perfection, the bracelet - her hair and makup - she's a winner!  Grade:  A

 
I can't.  I love her and I will not go there.  The bag is nice :)


Giuliana Rancic.  Eh.  Red.  Skinny.  Anorexic.  Grade:  C

 
 
January Jones.  This gal is always taking risks.  The shoes are interesting and the dress is ok however, the hair and the makeup are lackluster to say the least.  I wouldn't be surprised to find a scrunchie back there.  Grade:  C-

 
The gal from Downton Abbey.  I love chiffon.  It's so feminine and ethereal.  It's a pretty gown however it kind of blends right into her skin.  Grade:  C+

 
Julia Louis-Dreyfus.  Same old same old.  Her make up looks good.  Hair good.  However, TAKE A FUCKEN CHANCE ONCE IN A WHILE!  Grade:  B

 
Julie Bowen.  Honey ... prints are NEVER a good idea no matter how skinny you are.  This is plain ugly.  Grade:  F

 
I'm thinking mermaids, something beneath the sea ... YELLOW like an egg yolk.  This entire ensemble is disastrous.  Grade:  F  (Maybe if it was in another color?  Black maybe?)

 
She looks like she's wrapped up in bandages.  And that black and white crap at the top?!  Grade:  F- to the negative of 10.

 
Katherine Heigle is looking very Mother of the Bride in this get up.  Peach?  This is WAY too mature for her.  She has a fantastic body what the hell?  This was a very poor choice.  Grade:  D-
 
 
Kelly Osborne.  Kelly my love, your hair looks just like the Gerber baby except in purple.  The dress - black/grey/white .... one or the other ... not all three.  The tats are distracting.  Grade:  D-
 


 
Kerry Washington.  I'm not feeling this one.  And what's with the skirt underneath the dress?  Kerry ... you usually look so pulled together.  What happened hon?  Grade:  C-

 
Kristin Wiig.  FINALLY!!!!  You look fantastic!  Dress is gorgeous, body is looking fantastic, hair/makeup - flawless.  The only thing is the shoes ... maybe silver would have worked better.  Other than that, you're a winner!  Grade:  A- (for the black shoes).

 
Laura Prepon.  WHAT IN THE SAM HILL IS THIS????  Blue and green with reversible sides, a peplum, a collar, a cummerbund?  What the hell girl?!  Grade:  F -- (another double minus cause this is horrible).

 
I love this gown.  Black with a white train, love it!  Love the neckline too.  Grade:  A

 
Mark Ruffalo and wife.  She looks great.  I think he's adorable.  Cutest Couple!
Grade:  A

 

Melissa McCarthy.  Too much black.  Her hair is black, her dress is black ... she kind of looks like Morticia.  The dress looks very 1980's.  Though I love her, I'm giving her a Grade:  C-


 
Michelle Dockery of Downton Abbey MY FAVORITE PROGRAM EVER!!!!!   I cannot tell you how much I LOATHE this color blocking crap.  The colors are always bizarre!  White/Green/Blue/Light Pink - SERIOUSLY!  Just looking at it is making me car sick.  UGH.  She usually looks great but this is a disaster!  Grade:  F- to the nth degree.


 
 
Peter Dinklage.  GREAT ACTOR.  I know he's a little guy but he's a super talented and he has to be rolling in dough ... Peter!  Couldn't you afford a good tailor?  Those sleeves are WAY too long dude.  Grade:  C-
 
 
 
Sarah Paulson.  She looks like a firework that just exploded.  Hair is terrible, make up is terrible.  Overall look - terrible.  Grade:  F-- (that's a DOUBLE minus).

 
Sarah Hyland.  ADORABLE.  Loved this.  Young, fresh, sweet.  Grade:  A+ 



 
Sofia Vergara.  Same old same old.  I don't like the silver things on the bodice.  Basically, everything she wears flatters the bod and it's always the same ... BORING.  DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!  Grade:  C-
 
 
Julia Roberts (Meryl Streep's BFF) ... Baubles, Bangles and Beads.  This looks like a dress that has neurofibromatosis (Elephant Man disease) ... Also, did you see how clunky she walks with her skinny horse legs?  SO UNGRACEFUL.  Grade:  F
 
 


Lena Dunham.  Lena ... darling .... we love that you're WHO you are.  WE really do.  But on the Red Carpet do you think you could be somebody else??  This 1950's pink blouse with the frou-frou gradated skirt going from pink to red sitting right at the waist ... not a good look.  You look very uncomfortable.  Grade:  F-F- (that's a double F minus for really REALLY bad). 
 
Well folks, that's it.  Though there were many others to critique and praise mama ran out of steam.  You see I am also busy at work on the RHOC Reunion Part I which I will be posting shortly.
 
So as always, here's wishing you champagne wishes and caviar dreams!
 
SMOOCHES!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Comments

  1. Once again you are spot on. There must not be that many designers around. Many of the gowns look like they were bought off the rack at Wal Mart. The tux Mark is wearing looks like he slept in it. Love the post!

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  2. My Two Cents—and some of this is from my blog:
    Alexandra Daddio—never heard of her, but this dress is too tight and too nude. No.
    Allison Janney. I like the color, but the fabric makes it look too “brothel settee.”
    Christina Hendricks. I don’t mind it—wow, that’s high praise—but, damn girl, do something with your hair.
    Claire Danes. A couture sack. And I heard this is the same dress—in red and minus the sleeves—that Kash Kow Kardastrophe wore when she married that Krazy Man.
    Gwen Stefani. Better than the VMAs but the hair makes her look like Donatella … when she was three-hundred years younger.
    Hayden Panettiere. The boobs are too much.
    Julianna Margulies. It’s Goth, and not in a good way. Plus, it’s a little like something Paltrow wore years back and it was ugly then.
    Halle Berry. Looks beautiful … except for the hair in her eye.
    Heidi Klum. No boobs. No legs. No back. No sexy. It looks like she lost THAT bet with Zac Posen if this is what he made for her.
    Idris Elba I concur: YUM YUM.
    Kaley Cuoco. Prom queen bridesmaid.
    Allison Williams. Cute, but is that the biggest skirt in the world or what? How many hoops she got goin’ on under that?
    Amy Poehler. Tin foil; it’s tin foil.
    Angela Bassett. I said she was channeling Diana Ross from the 70s. In a good way! Love it.
    Anna Gunn. Dull.
    Anna Chlumsky. Pretty, but it’s kinda boring.
    Edie Falco. It looks like a gown from the 90s and I loves me some Edie.
    Felicity Huffman. Hothothot.
    Gabourey Sidibie: I concur: I love her and I will not go there.
    Giuliana Rancic. Why. WHY?????
    January Jones. It’s nice, except for the hair, and the giant skirt—how do these women sit down—but Jan, honey? Why so mad?
    Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Yawn.
    Julie Bowen. It’s a dress my Mom wore to a dinner party at the base back in the 70s. Really. It’s the same dress.
    Kate Walsh in something from the Judy Jetson Collection.
    Kate Mara. The ruching makes her boobs appear different in size, shape, and placement. That can’t be good.
    Katherine Heigl. You and I agree: “Mother of the Bride.” But since I loathe her, let her look stupid.
    Kelly Osborne. I like the dress. It’s pretty. But the tats? Cover them up with makeup next time you wanna look pretty.
    Kerry Washington. I didn’t get the faux mini, either, but I do love her hair.
    Kristin Wiig. It’s a slip. As a dress. No.
    Laura Prepon. This is the worst thing I saw last night. It is a giant Scientology-looking-spaceship-carrying-Xenu mess.
    Lizzy Caplan. Gorgeous.
    Melissa McCarthy. I.Love.Her. But this is too much black.
    Michelle Dockery. I liked it, but that girl needed a spray tan so I could tell the difference between skin and gown.
    Peter Dinklage. I just wanna put him in my pocket and carry him around. He’s hot.
    Sarah Paulson. I actually liked this one, though it is kind of Black Christmas, eh?
    Sarah Hyland. Cute as a bug’s ear. Perfect.
    Sofia Vergara. Yawn. We get it: hot bod, now do something different.
    Julia Roberts. I loved this because it was fun and flirty and so different from everything else. Who says you gotta go gown?
    Lena Dunham. I saw a picture of a Barbie cake—a cake with a doll stuck in the middle and the dress is the cake. It.Looked.Just.Like.This. Only edible.
    Carry on …..

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DANNYLAND ...

Danny has this disgusting habit of brushing his teeth and then rinsing his toothbrush and leaving it ALL WET in the toothbrush thing.  (See photo below.  A roll of toilet paper he sets on the counter like a cup and then sticks his toothbrush in the middle of it) ... what a genius huh?

The point?  Adisgusting, wet toothbrush will collect bacteria and mosquitoes and it's disgusting and filthy.  It drives me crazy.  Does he stop?  NO.  


What you're supposed to do is brush, rinse with HOT water and then DRY THE BRUSH THOROUGHLY ... THEN put it in the toothbrush thing.  IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

And how hard is it to take the yogurt OUT of the plastic bag?


God forbid he break a sweat. 

 Also, he never EVER closes a drawer, a cabinet, or a door ... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Don't you HATE when your husband makes hamburgers ...




*sigh* ... my life.

OSCARS BEST AND WORST ...

Well, for some unknown reason I was unable to get E! Live on the Red Carpet!  I called the cable company, I unplugged the t.v. to reboot it ... NOTHING.  SO, I had to go with Channel 7's coverage which is NOT NEARLY AS IN DEPTH as E!  Needless to say Mama was pissed. 

So, with that in mind ... let's get started!


Alicia Vikander.  Beautiful!  She looks very young and sweet and elegant.  Love the color of this gown .... Grade:  A


Jennifer Lawrence.  BEAUTIFUL!  Love the hair, love the make up, love the the gown.  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A++


Brie Larson.  I'm not really feeling this gown.  The color is beautiful but the belt and the bling and the ruffles and the pleats ... there's a lot going on here.  Grade:  C



Nice guy Dave Grohl and wife.  Class Couple!  Love her dress and earrings ... very pretty. Dave .... it's the ACADEMY AWARDS .... a traditional tux would have worked much better and you would have looked SO HANDSOME.  Wife Grade:  A, Dave's Grade:…