So I totally missed the Critic's Choice Awards ... I mean where the hell as I?! I didn't even know they were on television! I must be losing it folks. So I'll post just a few pics and then onto the SAG Awards ...
2014 CRITIC'S CHOICE AWARDS
Miss Abigail Breslin. She looks very vampish and busty like, which is odd considering she is only like 17. I mean, she looks pretty and all, but this whole ensemble makes her look like a 35 year old 1950's sex bomb ... don't you think? Amy needs to tone it down ... just a little. Grade: C
So I guess Meryl and Julia are now BFFs since they are both in the same acting category (Julia you wish). As for the frocks, both look like very serious, very unstylish, middle-aged actresses. I just call it like I see it people. Grade: C-
Meryl's dress is EXACTLY like one my mother owned in 1967 and Julia's is exactly like the wallpaper my girlfriend had in her dining room ... IN 1980.
(Pssst ... I think it's really funny how Julia thinks Meryl is really her BFF. We all know that after award season she's gonna drop her like a bad habit. I mean MERYL STREEP and JULIA ROBERTS????) Seriously? Please.
The gorgeous Jared Leto (aka Jesus) ... took the award for Best Supporting Actor. Grade: A+ GORGEOUS, GORGEOUS, GORGEOUS.
Lupita Nyong'o - PERFECTION. This gal is fast becoming a style icon. She's AMAZING. Love this simple, white gown ... ELEGANCE PERSONIFIED. Grade: A+++
The GORGEOUS Margot Robbie. I loved this jumpsuit. Very hip and elegant. Loved her hair, loved her makeup, loved it all ... Grade: A+ with a twirl and a snap .... WINNER WINNER WINNER
One of my favorite gals, Sandra Bullock. Looked beautiful is this berry colored gown with little ruffles and pretty belt. Simple, elegant. Grade: A+ WINNER
2014 SCREEN ACTOR'S GUILD AWARDS
Ariel Winter ... JUNE IS BUSTING OUT ALL OVER .... GIRL.
1. She looks like she can't breathe; and
2. Her breasteses look like they're in pain.
Set them free Ariel! Set them free! Grade: DD's
Amy Adams looking very elegant, very Wallis Simpson. Grade: A
The amazing Cate Blanchett winner of the Best Actress award ... I love this pink gown with the sparkle on the edge and neckline. Grade: A+ WINNER
The exquisite Lupiga Nyong'o. LOVE TURQUOISE!! This gown is amazing! The color against her skin is absolutely gorgeous. Her makeup, her hair, everything is PERFECTION! A+++ WINNER WINNER WINNER.
Sarah Paulson. Her hair ruined the entire look. The dress looks like it was made from an old parachute and the shoes are ALL wrong with those chains around the ankle. Makeup - was TERRIBLE! She looks as white as her dress. A real shame because she is a pretty woman ... Grade: F-
Jennifer Lawrence. VERY simple. She's adorable and she has a great body. I'm not really feeling this purply/black sequince fabric, but for the overall look she is very elegant. Mama's giving Jennifer a B+
Ok, I'm sure by now you all know that I can't stand Julia Roberts. Here she is in a pink jumpsuit (just like the one I had in 1977 EXCEPT mine looked good on me). What is this thing?! It's STUPID that's what it is! No bling, no glam .... BORING. Grade: F-
Kerry Washington. Kerry, Kerry, Kerry ... WHAT WERE YOU THINKING GIRL?! You looked so beautiful at the Golden Globes! I know you're pregnant and all but this ensemble looks like it would look on me! A 50-something year old gal with a big ol stomach. NO. This is A TERRIBLE LOOK for you. And you were doing so well too. Hon ... though I hate to do it, you're getting a big, fat F CAUSE THIS WAS ALL WRONG.
Emma Thompson and Meryl Streep. Emma Thompson can do no wrong in my eyes. She's fabulous and funny and a terrific actress and I LOVE HER! Meryl always looks so staid. Very bookish and sensible. I'd like to see her glam it up a little.
Emma: A+ .... Love the 1940's applique and the slightly padded shoulders. Even love the flat sandals.
Meryl, love .... you simply MUST glam it up a bit! Look at Helen Mirren. She ALWAYS looks fabulous AND sexy. Take a chance girl ... no one will think less of you. I promise. Grade: C (for average, safe and boring). And glasses? Really Meryl? We all know you're a serious actress but have some fun for crying out loud.
Claire Danes - Grecian Goddess gone punk gladiator. There is just too much going on here. Grade: F-
Sandra Bullock looking very pretty in my least favorite color of all time. HOWEVER, love the dress, love the shoes, love the hair, love it all. Grade: A+
Camila Alves .... VA-VOOM! Wow .. what a sex bomb. Although she really could use some jewelry. Grade: A+
Isla Fisher - I think she is so pretty. She has a very sweet, little girl beauty. Hard to believe she's married to Sacha Baron Cohen (the grossest movie making man of all time). She looks very 1930's in a lovely, silky, white slip of a dress, hair soft and beautiful, makeup good, earrings, perfect. Grade: A+
Edie Falco. HOLY SHIT. Hair - bad; shoes - bad; ankles - thick. It looks like her toddler made it - she just glued a bunch of paper mache butterflies all over this potato sack. Yikes. Grade: F- (it actually hurts my eyes!)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus ... what can I say ... THE SAME OLD FUCKEN SIMPLE SKIN TIGHT DRESS. I DO LIKE HER HAIR THOUGH. Grade: THE SAME.
Jennifer Grey. I actually like this dress however, NOT for the Critic's Choice Awards. A nice wedding or New Years Eve perhaps ... NOT the red carpet. But, because it looks great on her. Grade: A
Mariah Carey. F. That's all. A BIG, FAT F MINUS. Fishnets? Leather fingerless gloves? Black suede pumps? The dress is too short, the hair is too long, the legs are too fat. Plus you're in too many eras girl! (1980's, 1970s, 1990's! Which is it!)
Juliette Lewis .... this dress looks like it was made out of the fabric on Lucy and Ricky Ricardo's patio furniture. It also did not fit properly. The neckline is too droopy and the length is too long. All in all ... a DISASTER. Grade: F-
So that's it ladies and germs. My Best and Worst on the red carpet. Hope you enjoyed it. Coming soon .... THE ACADEMY AWARDS!!! Stay tuned ...