HOUSEWIVES AND OTHER REALITY NUT JOBS ...

Dear Kenya,

YOUR MAN DOES NOT WANT TO MARRY YOU.  PERIOD.

Kenya is suffering from a multitude of issues, mainly malignant narcissism.  She has major issues with her mother who abandoned her and does not acknowledge her to this day.  This would explain her need to compete with and cut down other women and flirt with their men.  Only ... this does not work Kenya ... it just makes people hate you.  Did you get that?  Not jealous.  Hate.  You need to find yourself a good therapist and work this stuff out.  I say this with love in my heart.
Oh ... and p.s. ... you might want to find a good dermatologist. 

Dear Phaedra,

You really need to keep that GIGANTIC ASS of yours covered up.  Seriously. 

Dear Kim,

I have no idea how you hooked such a nice, normal guy because you are such a shameless, foul-mouthed, tranny looking piece of trailer trash who thinks you actually are someone.  LISTEN CAREFULLY .... YOU'RE NOT.   

Dear Alexia,

What you did to Karent was MEAN, MEAN, MEAN.  Yes, she is a bit much to take but ambushing her the way you did with news of her cheating boyfriend in front of all the other ladies was really unforgivable.  You were practically giddy with joy as you told her you had proof of his infidelity and offered to show her the pictures.  Girl, you'd better pray this doesn't come back to you.  Because if it does, I'll be the first one laughing at your pathetic ass Cuban Barbie.

OK.  This broad right here - G.G. from Shahs of Sunset, is certifiable.  She has serious, SERIOUS anger management issues and is always threatening to fuck someone up.  She constantly demands respect from everyone but acts like a mad dog on crack.  I love these rich bitches who think they are so down and want everyone to be afraid of them when you know, that in a showdown between Miss G.G. and Clockstopper, Golnesa would piss on herself.   

G.G. my love ... if you are really that down why don't you hop in your Mercedes and drive on down to The Hood in Pico?  There are plenty of gals down here who'd be more than happy to rearrange your face.    

P.S. ... Doesn't she look like the bug from the Outer Limits?  Right!

SMOOCHES!