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HOUSEWIVES AND OTHER REALITY NUT JOBS ...


Dear Kenya,

YOUR MAN DOES NOT WANT TO MARRY YOU.  PERIOD.

Kenya is suffering from a multitude of issues, mainly malignant narcissism.  She has major issues with her mother who abandoned her and does not acknowledge her to this day.  This would explain her need to compete with and cut down other women and flirt with their men.  Only ... this does not work Kenya ... it just makes people hate you.  Did you get that?  Not jealous.  Hate.  You need to find yourself a good therapist and work this stuff outI say this with love in my heart.
Oh ... and p.s. ... you might want to find a good dermatologist. 


Dear Phaedra,

You really need to keep that GIGANTIC ASS of yours covered up.  Seriously. 
Dear Kim,

I have no idea how you hooked such a nice, normal guy because you are such a shameless, foul-mouthed, tranny looking piece of trailer trash who thinks you actually are someone.  LISTEN CAREFULLY .... YOU'RE NOT.   

Dear Alexia,

What you did to Karent was MEAN, MEAN, MEAN.  Yes, she is a bit much to take but ambushing her the way you did with news of her cheating boyfriend in front of all the other ladies was really unforgivable.  You were practically giddy with joy as you told her you had proof of his infidelity and offered to show her the pictures.  Girl, you'd better pray this doesn't come back to you.  Because if it does, I'll be the first one laughing at your pathetic ass Cuban Barbie.


OK.  This broad right here - G.G. from Shahs of Sunset, is certifiable.  She has serious, SERIOUS anger management issues and is always threatening to fuck someone up.  She constantly demands respect from everyone but acts like a mad dog on crack.  I love these rich bitches who think they are so down and want everyone to be afraid of them when you know, that in a showdown between Miss G.G. and Clockstopper, Golnesa would piss on herself.   

G.G. my love ... if you are really that down why don't you hop in your Mercedes and drive on down to The Hood in Pico?  There are plenty of gals down here who'd be more than happy to rearrange your face.    

P.S. ... Doesn't she look like the bug from the Outer Limits?  Right!













SMOOCHES!

Comments

  1. That outfit on Phaedra is the most horrendous thing I have ever seen. She tries to act classy and sophisticated but that outfit shows her true colors. It looks like she has been shopping at the stripper supply store.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what I don't get about her. She calls herself a Southern Belle, and her mother is a PREACHER for crying out loud!

      Delete
  2. Phaedra.
    Honey, no.
    Get a three-way mirror.
    And a stylist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bob, I think Phaedra thinks she looks great. And her "donkey" booty really looks like a donkey's booty. All she's missing is a tail.

      Delete
  3. The honey-boo-boo family has more class than these third rate hookers...
    I have a screeching case of PMS.

    ReplyDelete

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DANNYLAND ...

Danny has this disgusting habit of brushing his teeth and then rinsing his toothbrush and leaving it ALL WET in the toothbrush thing.  (See photo below.  A roll of toilet paper he sets on the counter like a cup and then sticks his toothbrush in the middle of it) ... what a genius huh?

The point?  Adisgusting, wet toothbrush will collect bacteria and mosquitoes and it's disgusting and filthy.  It drives me crazy.  Does he stop?  NO.  


What you're supposed to do is brush, rinse with HOT water and then DRY THE BRUSH THOROUGHLY ... THEN put it in the toothbrush thing.  IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

And how hard is it to take the yogurt OUT of the plastic bag?


God forbid he break a sweat. 

 Also, he never EVER closes a drawer, a cabinet, or a door ... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Don't you HATE when your husband makes hamburgers ...




*sigh* ... my life.

OSCARS BEST AND WORST ...

Well, for some unknown reason I was unable to get E! Live on the Red Carpet!  I called the cable company, I unplugged the t.v. to reboot it ... NOTHING.  SO, I had to go with Channel 7's coverage which is NOT NEARLY AS IN DEPTH as E!  Needless to say Mama was pissed. 

So, with that in mind ... let's get started!


Alicia Vikander.  Beautiful!  She looks very young and sweet and elegant.  Love the color of this gown .... Grade:  A


Jennifer Lawrence.  BEAUTIFUL!  Love the hair, love the make up, love the the gown.  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A++


Brie Larson.  I'm not really feeling this gown.  The color is beautiful but the belt and the bling and the ruffles and the pleats ... there's a lot going on here.  Grade:  C



Nice guy Dave Grohl and wife.  Class Couple!  Love her dress and earrings ... very pretty. Dave .... it's the ACADEMY AWARDS .... a traditional tux would have worked much better and you would have looked SO HANDSOME.  Wife Grade:  A, Dave's Grade:…