MY LOVE AFFAIR ...

with jam.  It is 11:00 pm and I have been sitting on the couch for half an hour wrestling with the idea of going into the kitchen and making myself a jam sandwich.  I LOVE Jam.  Strawberry Jam.

When I was a kid in school I would anticipate, literally until my mouth watered, the two jam sandwiches I would make for myself when I got home.  Two jam sandwiches on soft white bread. I even put jam on tortillas.  To this day there is no bigger treat for me than a tortilla slathered with jam.


When I first started taking Ambien (the last time I was traversing the Purgatory of unemployment) I was one of those people who exhibited the side effect of nocturnal eating.  I put on 30 lbs.  Partly due to massive consumption of jam filled tortillas.

Now, every morning, I have wheat toast with butter and jam.  EVERY.  MORNING.  I look forward to that on my way to bed ... tomorrow morning I can have my toast and jam (smiley face).  My brother, who teased me mercilessly when I was a teenager, always loved to call out the fact that I was not what one would call a domesticated female.  I did not cook.  I did not clean.  I did not do anything like that.  When he really wanted to do some damage to my already fragile female psyche, he'd hit below the belt with "what are you going to make for your husband when you get married Debbie?!  JAM SANDWICHES!?"  It filled me with shame.  It really did.  What WAS I going to make my future husband for dinner?  I didn't know how to cook.  What if he didn't like jam?

I have since widened my horizons ... I will now indulge in Apricot jam as this is less fattening (at least that's what Weight Watchers says), or I'll enjoy Boysenberry jam ... Mmmmm.  But nothing beats good old strawberry jam. 

So ... after going on and on about my love of jam, should I go to the kitchen or not?  It is now 11:19 pm.  I think I've overcome the urge ... and if I go to bed right now, the morning will come that much faster ... and I can have my toast and jam (smiley face) ... NITE NITE!