HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS ....

So I caught RHOBH last night and it was rather uneventful (which means that no one set anyone's hair on fire) Lisa and Adrienne met for drinks so that Adrienne could properly apologize to Lisa for accusing her of selling stories to the tabloids.  Adrienne in turn, thought that Lisa should also apologize to her for ... for ... oh something!  Anything. 

 Kim is now sober but still riding the cuckoo-crazy train. 

(Me thinks Miss Kim has had way too many chemical peels).

Brandi, whose ex-husband is the super gorgeous Eddie Cibrian, who left her for Leanne Rimes, is very hypercritical of herself ... tragically so.  During a photo shoot she actually got upset because she saw wrinkles on her thumb ...(and don't you know that Leanne Rimes is totally watching every single episode!)  I kind of feel sorry for Brandi but then she does say some seriously off the wall shit.  However, I will always be on the side of any woman who has been betrayed ... it's just basic girl code.  I hope Brandi meets an super wealthy man ... just so we could watch as all the other Housewives kowtow to her and kiss her ass.   

Kyle is always happy.  I'd be happy too if my husband was sexy, gorgeous, rich and had just surprised me with a brand new Maserati.  I think Kyle is a real "girl's girl" but I gotta say that her need to constantly do the splits on camera irritates the f**k outta me.  Yeah ... we get it Kyle, you're super limber, therefore a great lay.  Whatever.

New Housewife Yolanda Foster is married to David
Foster, GOD OF THE MUSIC WORLD, therefore she is a GODDESS because this shit just rubs off if you're married to it.  She has an incredibly BEAUTIFUL home.  Exactly my style, Mediterranean, California causal loaded with easy elegance.  It seems Yolanda knows how to marry the right man.  Apparently, her ex-husband is the infamous Mohammed who is LOADED and happens to be Lisa Vanderpump's friend.   Yolanda is an ex-model (surprise) and her daughter is also a model (surprise) and Yolanda doesn't "interfere" in her daughter's career but what I saw on t.v. when she attended daughter Gigi's photo shoot was Yolanda running the whole show.  Which clothes to wear, how to paint her eyes, ... basically, a controlling pain in the ass.  Time will tell what she is all about. 

Taylor Armstrong.  All I can say about this one is she must stop with the lip injections and the Botox.  Her face is completely frozen and nothing moves.  Word is she has a new man ...
It's amazing to me how quickly these gals recover from suicide, heartbreak, divorce, etc., et al.  Just find another MAN ... preferably ROLLING IN DOUGH ... and move on.  This is not normal.

So ... here is my pitch for a new reality show.  SCARED HUMBLE.  We take the RHOBH and put them in a setting where they must actually live with and interact with REAL people.  I can see it now ... Lisa Vanderpump trying to buy diamonds at Cost Co., Adrienne Malouf DRIVING, all by herself, in a REGULAR car, to Vegas where she would then stay at an affordable motel off the strip.  NOW THAT I WOULD WATCH!  Can you imagine these hoity toity broads interacting with regular people who don't know/care who they are?  How funny would it be to watch some regular Joe or Jane tell Lisa Vanderpump to go fuck herself LOL!  Ooooh, I think I'm onto something.  Really.  Kind of like "Wife Swap" ... we could called it "Life Swap ... Scared Humble".    What do you think?  Would you watch? 

I'm fucken brilliant.