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HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS ....

So I caught RHOBH last night and it was rather uneventful (which means that no one set anyone's hair on fire) Lisa and Adrienne met for drinks so that Adrienne could properly apologize to Lisa for accusing her of selling stories to the tabloids.  Adrienne in turn, thought that Lisa should also apologize to her for ... for ... oh something!  Anything. 











 Kim is now sober but still riding the cuckoo-crazy train. 
(Me thinks Miss Kim has had way too many chemical peels).



Brandi, whose ex-husband is the super gorgeous Eddie Cibrian, who left her for Leanne Rimes, is very hypercritical of herself ... tragically so.  During a photo shoot she actually got upset because she saw wrinkles on her thumb ...(and don't you know that Leanne Rimes is totally watching every single episode!)  I kind of feel sorry for Brandi but then she does say some seriously off the wall shit.  However, I will always be on the side of any woman who has been betrayed ... it's just basic girl code.  I hope Brandi meets an super wealthy man ... just so we could watch as all the other Housewives kowtow to her and kiss her ass.   













Kyle is always happy.  I'd be happy too if my husband was sexy, gorgeous, rich and had just surprised me with a brand new Maserati.  I think Kyle is a real "girl's girl" but I gotta say that her need to constantly do the splits on camera irritates the f**k outta me.  Yeah ... we get it Kyle, you're super limber, therefore a great lay.  Whatever.















New Housewife Yolanda Foster is married to David
Foster, GOD OF THE MUSIC WORLD, therefore she is a GODDESS because this shit just rubs off if you're married to it.  She has an incredibly BEAUTIFUL home.  Exactly my style, Mediterranean, California causal loaded with easy elegance.  It seems Yolanda knows how to marry the right man.  Apparently, her ex-husband is the infamous Mohammed who is LOADED and happens to be Lisa Vanderpump's friend.   Yolanda is an ex-model (surprise) and her daughter is also a model (surprise) and Yolanda doesn't "interfere" in her daughter's career but what I saw on t.v. when she attended daughter Gigi's photo shoot was Yolanda running the whole show.  Which clothes to wear, how to paint her eyes, ... basically, a controlling pain in the ass.  Time will tell what she is all about. 


Taylor Armstrong.  All I can say about this one is she must stop with the lip injections and the Botox.  Her face is completely frozen and nothing moves.  Word is she has a new man ...
It's amazing to me how quickly these gals recover from suicide, heartbreak, divorce, etc., et al.  Just find another MAN ... preferably ROLLING IN DOUGH ... and move on.  This is not normal.

So ... here is my pitch for a new reality show.  SCARED HUMBLE.  We take the RHOBH and put them in a setting where they must actually live with and interact with REAL people.  I can see it now ... Lisa Vanderpump trying to buy diamonds at Cost Co., Adrienne Malouf DRIVING, all by herself, in a REGULAR car, to Vegas where she would then stay at an affordable motel off the strip.  NOW THAT I WOULD WATCH!  Can you imagine these hoity toity broads interacting with regular people who don't know/care who they are?  How funny would it be to watch some regular Joe or Jane tell Lisa Vanderpump to go fuck herself LOL!  Ooooh, I think I'm onto something.  Really.  Kind of like "Wife Swap" ... we could called it "Life Swap ... Scared Humble".    What do you think?  Would you watch? 

I'm fucken brilliant. 

Comments

  1. Kim may not be drinking but she's on something....the Crazy Train?
    I am over Taylor. Big lips, frozen face, bad spray tan, over her.
    No one.NO ONE.Makes Lisa upset or they will have to deal with me! And I'll scrimp and save until I can buy a Maloof Hoof to stomp Adrienne down.
    Kyle. Stop.
    Yolanda. We get it, you're rich, blond and have an accent.
    So does one of those Siegfreid and Roy guys, though i don't know which.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! You are hysterical! I should run all my housewives post by you first!

      Delete
  2. OMG I don't watch, but now I totally want to! Kim Richards will always be the girl from Hello Larry to me. I loved that show.

    Your idea? Brilliant! I'd watch THAT!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hello Larry?? Never heard of it! I gotta Google that. I remember her from Nanny and the Professor with Juliet Mills? Or am I THAT much older than you? LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  4. These shows are a train wreck that I love to watch. The women are so far removed from reality. I loved your analysis.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! Glad you enjoyed my post :)

      Delete
  5. I agree with you 150% Viggo is Delicious!!!

    YUM...In the movie History of Violence is when I fell in love with that steamy Hunk of Burnin LUV..... YEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

    ReplyDelete

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DANNYLAND ...

Danny has this disgusting habit of brushing his teeth and then rinsing his toothbrush and leaving it ALL WET in the toothbrush thing.  (See photo below.  A roll of toilet paper he sets on the counter like a cup and then sticks his toothbrush in the middle of it) ... what a genius huh?

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What you're supposed to do is brush, rinse with HOT water and then DRY THE BRUSH THOROUGHLY ... THEN put it in the toothbrush thing.  IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

And how hard is it to take the yogurt OUT of the plastic bag?


God forbid he break a sweat. 

 Also, he never EVER closes a drawer, a cabinet, or a door ... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Don't you HATE when your husband makes hamburgers ...




*sigh* ... my life.

OSCARS BEST AND WORST ...

Well, for some unknown reason I was unable to get E! Live on the Red Carpet!  I called the cable company, I unplugged the t.v. to reboot it ... NOTHING.  SO, I had to go with Channel 7's coverage which is NOT NEARLY AS IN DEPTH as E!  Needless to say Mama was pissed. 

So, with that in mind ... let's get started!


Alicia Vikander.  Beautiful!  She looks very young and sweet and elegant.  Love the color of this gown .... Grade:  A


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Brie Larson.  I'm not really feeling this gown.  The color is beautiful but the belt and the bling and the ruffles and the pleats ... there's a lot going on here.  Grade:  C



Nice guy Dave Grohl and wife.  Class Couple!  Love her dress and earrings ... very pretty. Dave .... it's the ACADEMY AWARDS .... a traditional tux would have worked much better and you would have looked SO HANDSOME.  Wife Grade:  A, Dave's Grade:…