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Last week on the Orange County Housewives we watched Vicki cry to Tamara about her marriage falling apart and wondering how she ended up in yet another unhappy marriage ... and how all she wants "is to be touched ... to get a hug at the end of the day" WAH WAH WAH. Well, first of all you have to BE HOME in order to get the hug you freaking maniac. YOU'RE ALWAYS WORKING!! And, as it tuns out, Miss Piggy already has a new boyfriend. Amazing. If my marriage ended six months ago I'd still be curled up in a ball crying ... not on to my next husband. But that's just me. These pathetic, insecure women cannot be alone for even two seconds! It's mind boggling to me ... but then, I'M NOT A NARCISSIST. I don't need the constant mirroring of adoration in order to get my narcissistic supply ... I take meds for that.

It's interesting how things work in the fantasy world of reality T.V. You got your Mob Wives, your Housewives, your Basketball Wives, etc., etc., etc., a whole cornucopia of attention whores obsessed with image and having a rich and famous husband who will provide them with the lifestyle they aspire to (without having to work for it) ... why only last week the world learned that the beautiful, sexy Kimmie Kardashian got engaged! (Not that she needs a rich and famous husband because she's rolling in dough herself thanks to her sex tape and getting naked for Playboy) and Hollywood is all a-twitter with the news of her engagement. OMG! HOW EXCITING! DID YOU SEE HER $2 MILLION DOLLAR RING! IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL! BLAH BLAH BLAH AND HALLA-FUCKIN-LOOYA! Except Kimmie my love, you obviously do not read my blog or you'd realize that you are engaged to A PUPPY. His 26 years to your 30 is ... well, let's just say I don't think you're gonna make it down the aisle ...[and I'm willing to bet money on this] barring of course, if you've already gotten yourself knocked up ... accidentally on purpose] ...

Ok. Time to get serious girls. I'm addressing all you ladies who are single and pushing 30 or 35 or 39. In life ... sometimes you are forced to be alone. The circumstances may di
ffer from one gal to another, but the point is that when you happen to find yourself alone and in a dark place ... SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO STAY THERE FOR A WHILE because it is there that you will find out who you are. When you're down and forced to look inward you WILL FIND WHAT YOU NEED TO FIND ... WITHIN YOU. I promise. I find it utterly bewildering that in the year 2011 women would still rather die than be alone ... even for a little while. The wisdom, insight and strength you gain when you come out the other end of a dark tunnel makes you a better, stronger woman who is able to move through the world with confidence. The kind of confidence that can only be obtained when you face your fears.

KNOW YOUR WORTH. Do not impede growth out of fear. And never, EVER believe
that you are nothing without a man. That attitude will get you stuck in the '"fear trap" and keep you there, hostage, always waiting to be "rescued" so that you don't have to be a person. So take heed ... Don't put time limits on your life. Don't fret about being 35 and unmarried. Don't worry about whether or not you will ever be a mother. Let your life unfold naturally and allow life's lessons to teach you its secrets. PAY ATTENTION and ALWAYS, ALWAYS trust your God given intuition. It WILL NEVER, EVER steer you wrong.


And that's all I have to say about that.


  1. AMEN!!! And that's all I gotta say about that! Okay, I lied, I have more to say....being a woman who came out of a 25 year marriage, I can truly say you are right on so many levels. Being a successful woman does NOT mean you are married with children. Being successful means you are happy with where you are in your life....knowing God has blessed you with what He feels you need at that moment. I have learned this from your blog, your sisterly advice to me has kept me going, on so many levels! I love what you have to say....and I love you!


  2. You make me proud.

  3. This blog was exactly what I needed at this moment... Thanks Debbie.

  4. Howdy Debbie:

    Ok, true confessions...I'm one of those gals that have NOT been playin' by the rules since I was knee-high to a June (not 'Cleaver') bug.

    However, today...after a particularly grueling month of proprietress-ing (I own my own...also 'unruly' shop in Sacramento)—I found myself THE BUG on THE WINDSHIELD and couldn't bring myself to haul my weary reary into my store.

    Thankfully (and mercifully), I have some 'help' there today so the shop's open and running, and i'm home, voluntarily parked in front of my television dialed in to the BRAVO network, as I mentally medicate on what is now possibly my 4th hour of OC HOUSEWIVES...the clock is STILL TICKING. It's an OC Marathon and I do believe I'm officially having an unscheduled, unexpected, but sorely needed, FUCK OFF FRIDAY.

    The good news? I came out of my reality t.v. coma JUST long enough to google 'Why is Vicky Gundelson crying on the OC Housewives last season?'. WHY?

    The more interesting question is WHY THE HELL DO I EVEN GIVE A SHIT? but based on my state of mind and body, it seems perfectly logical and about as much 'work' as I can bring myself to accomplish at this stage of what is possibly going to be one helluva wasted day.

    So...I googled the $64,000 question and YOUR BLOG was one of the links to the burning question.

    Not only did I appreciate your cheeky, on point observation about the need to be tethered to something besides your laptop in order to GET A HUG...but all the rest of that groovy stuff you said about 'finding yourself' (that didn't sound like a spoonful of self-help sugar, thank you!) was a real boost of fiber to my otherwise, over-processed, refined, empty calorie day.

    So thanks, Deb. Pleasure meeting you. I'm going to segue from sloth and multi-task by posting my post to your blog on my blog and link our blogs...all of which sounds like a lot of work and something way beyond my limited blogging ability, but the moral of this blog is supposed to be that even when you think your wasting your time—well, you are—but how fun that I've met someone with SPUNK, WIT and a point of view that I'll enjoy reading and sharing with anyone that gives a whip.

    Peace and love, Diva!

    audrey wells

  5. Dear Debbie,

    For me, one of the sad thing about these reality shows (or just shows) is that they create culture at least as much if not than mirroring it.

    These self-absorbing antics are not the only way to live a life. Unfortunately, this is what is modeled to little girls (and boys for that matter) 24/7.

    It is truly pathetic.


  6. bravo on another excellent post!!!i've missed reading your blog but here i am... i'll start blogging again too ;)


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