A RANT (on certain persons that piss me off)

So, we all my know of my hate for (1)Rush Limbaugh and (2) Ann
Coulter.  After Debate No. 3 wherein President Obama basically bitch slapped Governor Romney, the vile Ann Coulter said "I highly approve of Romney's decision to be kind and gentle to the retard." 

I'll say it again .... "I highly approve of Romney's decision to be kind and gentle to the retard."

OPEN LETTER TO ANN (HORSE FACE) COULTER:

Dearest Ann:

I have so many reasons to hate your comment but the BIG ONE is that my beautiful 26 year old stepdaughter has Downs Syndrome.  Now, normally I don't get my panties in a twist over "retard" comments.  I really don't.  But because you are such a hate monger and obviously have no soul I feel perfectly justified in stating how much I hate you, so much so that if something really horrible happened to you I really don't think I'd feel a thing.  That's a lot of hate.  And just think ... I am only ONE person of so, so many who feel the same.   

My stepdaughter (or "retard") as you would identify her is one of the most NORMAL, LOVING, GENEROUS, PURE, FUNNY, TENDER human beings I have ever known in my entire life of living and I am greatly offended Ms. Coulter because the word "retard" to you means STUPID, NO BRAINS, UNINTELLIGENT, CHILDLIKE MORON when in fact it is YOU, Ms. Coulter, who are a STUPID, NO BRAINED, UNINTELLIGENT, MORON.  And the sickest thing is that you get PAID to be a STUPID, NO BRAINED, UNINTELLIGENT MORON which should call into question all sorts of other points such as the power of the media, the right winged hate machine, and the joke that politics and serious discourse have become in the 21st century world of hype, B.S. and shock talk.  

I know, I know ... you didn't mean "retard" like that.  But you said it, and you said it to shock, because your vocabulary does not contain bigger, better, more descriptive words to describe your feelings re Obama's debate performance.  Retard was the first thing that popped into your mind.  Ann ... weighing ones words, thinking before speaking ... are signs of a "thoughtful, literate" speaker.  Any 7th grader could come up with retard.  Unbelievable.  

I truly wonder how you sleep at night.  But then I remembered ... vampires sleep during the day.  

SMOOCHES!

and p.s.  I hope you get diarrhea on air while the whole word watches as liquid excrement exits your anal cavity instead of where it usually exits from ... your mouth.  

That's all.

"DANCING AT THE SHAME PROM" ...

This Sunday I attended a reading from "Dancing at the Shame Prom" hosted by my amazing friends Amy Ferris and Hollye Dexter.  The evening was a wonderful journey as we listened to many amazing, fantastic, talented women writers read from their essays which compile this amazing book.  Heart wrenching, funny, painful stories that all women can relate to.  Like the woman whose mother was an emotionally abusive and stubborn hoarder, to the other whose father was a cruel alcoholic who terrified and humiliated her.  People and incidents that invalidated and robbed them of them of their worth, their truth and their beauty BUT, through the power of the written word, they found their strength and each one of these women rose like a Phoenix to state her truth and say I AM HERE AND I AM SOMEBODY.  

Each woman recalled her own personal story of shame that crippled and stifled her.  A shame that held her back from really living, loving, and being.  We listen to them as they share the most personal, most painful stories and rejoice with them when they each awaken from their self-imposed indifference to realize and claim their own power and  greatness. 

Each woman stood up and proudly shared her story and touched every single person in that room.  There were loud claps of appreciation and lots of laughter and many sighs of "yes ... I understand".  It was a love fest.  Because we women are awesome! And when we share our stories together we empower one another.  And when we encourage one another we can conquer anything and anyone who wants to keep us small.  

WOMEN RULE!!!!

SO GO OUT AND BUY THE BOOK!  You'll  be glad you did.

 

The incredible, adorable, generous Amy Ferris.

The equally incredible, adorable and generous Hollye Dexter.

The amazing writers who contributed their powerful stories to the book.

My favorite picture of Amy.




THANKS TO ALL OF YOU LADIES FOR A GREAT AFTERNOON!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIGGO!!!!

On October 20, 1958 you were born.  Approximately 50 years later, you and I would be in the same room .... TOGETHER in Hollywood, CA.  My heart skipped a beat as you bounded up the aisle to the front of the theater in your t-shirt and jeans and I was struck by love.  When oh when, will you realize that I am your true intended ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY VIGGO ...

OK folks ... here are some pictures of Viggo's new movie "The Two Faces of January" with Kirsten Dunst.  I CAN'T WAIT!!!  It is a great plot.  Viggo plays a con man who mistakenly (or not) is accused of shooting a police officer and then goes on the run.  It takes place in Greece, Istanbul and Turkey circa 1962.  


Doesn't he look hot in that cool yellow suit!

I LOVE HIM. 

AAARRRGGGHHH! ... YES. A rant.

Today is October 17 and it was 94 degrees today which is really starting to piss me off!  IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FALL ALREADY DAMMIT!!!  I am so sick of this freaking hot weather!  I want to wear sweaters again, and socks ... NOT shorts and sleeveless t-shirts.  I look TERRIBLE IN SHORTS AND SLEEVELESS T-SHIRTS.  

Every morning when I get up I open the front door and WHOOM ... I can feel it ... the fucken heat ... like waves assaulting me.  I am certain it is global warming.  When I was a kid summer started in June and lasted until MAYBE mid-September.  Now summer starts in August and NEVER ENDS!!!!!  I feel like I need to buy more summer clothes and Thanksgiving is around the corner. 

As I write, it is 6:30 pm and it's like an oven outside.  I know you people who live where the weather is normal are probably disgusted by my bitching, but trust me, BE GLAD THAT WINTER IS COLD AND SUMMER IS HOT.  It's dependable.  It's NORMAL. Here in California Summer is HOT and winter is HOT.  It's like living on the sun.

RE-RUN ... My First Viggo Kissing Dream ... *SIGH*

Every time I dream about my boyfriend we're in a library or a bookstore (there must be some meaning in this because I love books and reading and Viggo is a published poet and an artist ... I'll have to do some research on this) ... so, in my dream, Viggo and I have established a "friendship/crush" in the library/bookstore of my dreams, SO we're in the library with some students and we're all seriously discussing some deep and esoteric topic and I began to notice that Viggo is a little sad, but flirty at the same time.  Mhmmm.  So, we're all talking and then all of a sudden it was just he and I engaged in a deep conversation. He sat down in the middle of an aisle of books with his long legs stretched out in front of him and he started telling me about how he was having trouble with his girlfriend. She was 49 going on 50 and she had green hair. She was also having serious issues with menopause. "Awwww", I said "I know how that is. You must be patient with her because those hormones are real. And they're no fun." (All the while thinking GOD I WANT YOU ... but I had to be cool, nonchalant ... I had to come across as supportive and caring and not like the horny toad I was)

So, after he confides in me, he shakes his head and I could tell that he was embarrassed that he told me his girlfriend had green hair, but I let it go. I could also tell that he was really down but at the same time, I could tell he really liked me too.  So, we keep on talking and all of a sudden everyone starts to get up to leave, so we get up too, and head towards the elevator. We get into the elevator with about four other people. And as we're riding I could sense his desire for me growing ... omg ... the longing ... the yearning ... THEN, he placed his hand on my thigh.  SIGH .... pant, pant, pant.  Then, when we got to my floor, the doors opened, he reached for me and took my face in his hands and started kissing me (this is so stupid I know but I was so freaking excited when I woke up that I had a smile on my face all the way to work). Then, I say, "Viggo, I can't kiss you here, in front of all these people, let's get off the elevator ... "

AND THEN I WOKE UP.

I think it's A SIGN ...

EMMY AWARDS BEST AND WORST ...

Okay ... first let me say that only a few wowed me this year and I am getting to that age where I don't know who some of the actors and actresses are, so with that in mind, let's get started. 

The adorable Amanda Peet.  I think it's difficult to wear this flesh color on the red carpet because it blends into the skin.  It's a pretty little slip of a dress and I like the headband and her makeup looks beautiful.  Grade:  B

Amy Poehler.  BORING.  Grade:  C-

Ashley Judd.  This is the ugliest schmata I've ever seen. What is with the big bow at the neck?  She looks like a cat.  And that beehive?  Very Count Dracula.  

I'm a little disappointed in Ashely ... she is usually so pulled together and chic.  Grade:  F-

It's ugly from the front too but her husband is pretty hunky (but he needs some lips).

Christina Hendricks.  This chick seriously needs a boob reduction.  I say it every year ... she just looks like a fat chick squeezed into this gown.  If she reduced those mammary glands she'd lose about 30 lbs.  Christina .... get some numbers and make a few appointments.  You need to consult with someone.  As for the dress, I like the color and style but I don't like the belt.  If she didn't have those gigantic boobs the dress would look very chic but those knockers ruin the whole look.  Sorry hon, I'm just trying to help you out.  Grade:  D-

Christine Baranski.  Great looking older woman.  Love the hair, love the makeup.  The dress ... I don't know.  1) it has sleeves and it was about 90 degrees yesterday so all I could think about while looking at her were my own hot flashes; 2) She has great legs but I really think she should have gone with another look.  The dress looks as though it doesn't fit right and it looks uncomfortable.  Grade:  D

Claire Danes.  She always looks ... what can I say ... plain.  No bling, no glam, no nothing.  She's a pretty girl with a great body but that dress is very blah and the cut makes her look frumpy.  Me no likee.  Grade:  D+

Connie Britton.  Other than the fact her hair looks like a soccer mom's, she looks pretty great.  She has a great body and her arms look really good.  Grade:  B+

Edie Falco.  Great body.  I think this dress looks great on her.  You have to have a fantastic body to wear a dress like this.  Grade:  B+. 

Elizabeth Moss.  OH. EM. GEE.  My mother made me a dress just like back in the 1980's.  It was ugly then and it's ugly now.  Fabric:  ugly; Print:  ugly;  Hair:  ugly.  Overall look:  UGLY.  Grade:  F- (sorry Elizabeth).

Ellen Degeneres and Portia.  LOVE LOVE LOVE Ellen's hair and I need to know where she gets it cut cause I'm going there!  Portia looks great.  Love the jumpsuit.  She is always very chic and I love her hair.  Grade:  Ellen - B+; Portia - A.  

Ginnifer Goodwin.  Mhmmm.  I'm trying to decide.  I actually like the idea, I like the colors but I don't like the dress, though I LOVE the shoes.  This dress doesn't do anything for her figure.  It adds weight to her.  The cut isn't flattering.  It's Monique Lhullier but honestly, it doesn't work on her.  And her hair looks a tad severe.  Makeup is beautiful but her earrings do not go with this gown.  Grade:  D-

Giuliana Margulies.  This woman always looks fabulous but I don't like this dress and I feel like I should, but I don't.  And her hair is too severe.  The earrings were pretty though.  Grade:  B - because she actually looks pulled together even though this dress is not one of my favorites. 

Giuliana Rancic.  PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GAIN SOME FUCKEN WEIGHT!!!  GEEZ!  Her arms look like toothpicks.  Other than that ... the dress is chic, the hair is good, the earrings are good, the manicure good.  Grade:  A.

Glenn Close.  Glenn is another one who usually looks fantastic but I do not like this dress.  It makes her look heavy.  It has arrows and stripes and flaps and ruffles ... too much crap going on.  The hair is okay and the makeup looks good but that dress is distracting with the panels and points and lace and white and black ... all it needed were a few bells.  Grade:  F+

Gretchen Mol.  She is so pretty.  This dress is pretty but it also looks kind of cheap.  I can't put my finger on it but the hem doesn't seem finished or polished.  Also, the shoes are a little weird.  It looks like she is standing barefoot on her tippy toes with little bows stuck to her feet.  Grade:  B-

Hayden Panetierre.  Not loving this at all. It's like a grecian gold and ugly, weird blue number that has way too much going on and it is much too mature for her.  She's such a pretty girl ... maybe if the blue were white it might have looked more ethereal and beautiful.  Grade:  F-

Heidi Fucken Klum.  Okay ... this number looks like a bathing suit with a sheer cover up.  I don't like it.  I don't like the matching turquoise shoes, the matching turquoise earrings, or the matching turquoise ring.  Big Fat F for FLOP.   

it l

James Van Der Beek (this dude has a GIGANTIC head and no lips).  His girl is wearing a peach frock with a red clutch and bronze roman style shoes.  Ditch the shoes, ditch the clutch and ditch Frankenstein.  Grade:  F
 

 

Jane Krakowski.  Super talented but her chin bugs me and she's another one with no upper lip.  Get some filler ... please.  I'm giving her an A.  Dress is good, hair is good, earrings are good.  Overall look:  Good.  Grade:  A 

January Jones.  This is actually an edgy little number that I really like but she could have done something else with her hair.  It looks like she was trying to copy that gal from Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.  Makeup is good but hair is bad.  Grade:  B-

Jenna Malone.  Ok - this color was quite popular on the red carpet.  It's ugly.  It's like a brownish-plum that does nothing for anyone.  If it were white or any other color than this brownish-plum it might have worked better.  The hair:  terrible; Makeup; not enough.    The shoes:  interesting but no cigar.  Some earrings would have helped and a better up-do.  Grade:  F-

Jessica Lange.  Tricky.  Hair is good, sunglasses are great; dress - not feeling it.  And if I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times .... a lady of a certain age should always, ALWAYS cover her arms.  Unless you have guns like Sheryl Crowe or Madonna, DO NOT SHOW THEM.  Grade: C-

Jessica Pare.  This gal looked beautiful.  Now this is an Emmy Award look.  Beautiful hair, beautiful makeup, beautiful jewels, beautiful gown.  Very Chanel.  LOVE IT.  PERFECTION.  BEST LOOK OF THE EVENING SO FAR.  GRADE:  A+ to the nth degree!

Jon Hamm.  HUBBA HUBBA.  Grade:  SEXZEEEEEE!

Julia Louis Dreyfus.  She has a great body, but again, this dress would have looked much better in any other color than this brownish-plum.  The hair:  Horrible - pulled back and parted in the middle.  She looked like Mary Todd Lincoln.  Earrings - I know she was going with something contrasting for pop but it didn't pop ... it pooped.  Grade:  D-

Julianne Hough.  BEAUTIFUL girl, gorgeous dress, loved the color and it fit her beautifully.  Beautiful makeup but I didn't like her hair.  She is too young to look so severe.  Would like to have seen her hair look sexier and softer.  Grade:  A.

Kat Dennings.  This girl looked BEAUTIFUL.  LOVED the makeup, loved the hair, loved the dress, loved the bracelet, loved the entire look.  SECOND BEST LOOK OF THE EVENING.  WINNER, WINNER, WINNER!  Grade:  A+

Kathy Griffin.  Kathy should not wear black.  The dress doesn't wow me.  Her hair looks OK and I am definitely not feeling that black cuff bracelet.  Grade: D

Kenly Collins from Project Runway.  She is adorable.  Love the hair, love the dress, love the bag, love the shoes (although I don't think they go with the dress) - Grade:  B-

Kevin Coster.  Just put him here to show you all a picture of his wife who looks like his daughter.  She looks about 17 ... horndog.   

Kristin Wiig.  Love her!  I think she should color her hair ... she looks so much better as a blonde.  It's a pretty dress but the color doesn't show well on the red carpet and I don't like the length.  Either go long or go short.  Also, no bling and the shoes are all wrong.  Sorry Kristin - Grade:  D-

Lena Dunham.  Very talented gal with no style at all.  This looks like a 1940's prom dress and it makes her look like a baby elephant.  Surely she could have hired a stylist to make her look fabulous.  Her makeup looks good though.  Grade:  F-

Leslie Mann.  I love her, she is so cute.  This dress looked much better on T.V.  It is scrambled egg yellow with a pretty lacy top.  The turquoise jewelery could be risky but I think I like it.  How do you all feel?  Yay or Nay?  Grade:  B-

Lucy Liu.  She looks like she is wearing bunch of tiny mirrors.  She has a great body and she looks really pulled together.  Grade:  A

The guy from Dexter.  I don't now who his date is but I loved her dress and shoes.  Loved her makeup, loved her hair, loved the bag and even her tattoos.  I think she looks very chic and edgy.  Grade:  A.

 

Michelle Dockery of Downton Abbey MY FAVORTE PROGRAM.  She is an amazing actress and is really quite beautiful.  Love her hair, love her makeup.  The dress is very pretty but satin always looks wrinkled at the lap.  Grade:  C

Morena Baccarin.  This gal looked beautiful.  I'd say this is another of my favorites.  Loved the dress, loved the jewels, loved the hair, loved the makeup.  Grade:  A+

Nicole Kidman.  I think Nicole needs to ease up on the Botox and it looks like she might have had cheek implants.  Her face, though pretty, is starting to look a little weird.

This is a pretty dress but I don't like the turquoise shoes - it throws the entire look off.  I never realized how much taller she is than her husband.  I will give Nicole an A-

Padma Lakshmi.  I don't like this gal ... however, this is a beautiful gown, love the color.  She looks great but I think a gorgeous pair of earrings would have been just right.  Grade:  A-

Sarah Hyland.  This little girl is adorable. Did you know she had a kidney transplant this year?  Love the dress, love the hair, she looks adorable.  Grade:  A

Sarah Paulson.  This is a beautiful dress.  Love the black belt and bag but she could have done something more with her hair.  Grade:  B-

Sofia Vergara.  BEAUTIFIUL.  She always knows how to look like a movie star ... even though she's on T.V.  I loved the gown, the color, the earrings, the rest of the jewelery.  She looks fantastic.  Grade:  A

Tina Fey.  I don't know what it is but Tina rarely looks really glamorous.  I don't like this plum color, but I do like the neckline.  She has those kind of ears that stick out so I would suggest no up-dos in the future.  Grade:  C-

Tom Berenger.  It is unbelievable how this guy has aged.  He used to be such a hunk!  See below.

 Tom Berenger in his younger days.  

Maria Menonous.  LOVE HER.  Loved the dress, the hair, the hearrings.  I want her boobs.  
Grade:  A 

Zooey Deschanel.  I love her.  She looks young and fresh ... like pretty princess.  Love the soft blue puff of a dress.  Her make up is beautiful and I love her hair.  Grade:  A+

Okay folks.  That's it for this year.  Award season is around the corner.  Golden Globes!  Oscars!  and I can't wait.  I'm hoping my boyfriend Viggo gets nominated for something.  He has two films coming out ... "On the Road" and "Todos Tenemos Un Plan".  

Thank you all for reading and following.  It makes my life worth living.  Really.

SMOOCHES!