LET'S GET TO IT ...
Laverne Cox - Tres glam! Love the hair, love the gown, love it all! Grade: A
Hilary Swank - In a barf green gown with black bows and streamers. NO. Grade: C
Anna de Armas - Fabulous! Grade: A WINNER WINNER WINNER!
Angela Basset - Looking fantastic in silver! Gorgeous! Grade: A
Anna Geyster - This gal needed more makeup, more bling, and a spray tan. Looks like she just walked off the set of Avatar - the Way of Water. Grade: C-
Bob Odenkirk of Better Call Saul (which was a FANTASTIC SERIES) however, it looks like Saul should have called a tailor. This suit looks ill-fitting and funky. Grade: C-
Daisy Edgar Jones in yet another black frock.
Grade: B
Don't know who she is but this is a mess. Is it a dress? Is it pants? Is it a plane? And a blue streak in the hair with blue gloves for pop. Complete fail. Grade: F double minus.
Jean Smart in Black like everyone else. However, she looks tres chic. Grade: B
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Don't know who she is but she looks pretty perfect. Grade: A
Dude looks like he's wearing a zoot suit that got wet in the rain. Grade: F-
Lily James in WAY too much fabric. Grade: B-
Viola Davis. I think she looks fabulous. Too bad the hem got so wet. Grade: A
Sigourney Weaver IN BLACK. Hun, this particular gown is ill-fitting and adds weight to your middle. Also, you could have done something more with your hair and added some bling! It's the Golden Globes for crying out loud! Grade: D-
Seth Rogan in a peach ice cream suit. The only way to make Seth look worse is if his shoes were white. And Lauren Miller in vintage (because this gown looks like something Alice Faye would have worn in the 1940s.) Grade: F-
An oil slick with a very large psilocybin at the hip. Grade: D-
Selena Gomez in black with grape-colored floaties and streamers. She should have just worn the plain black gown. Grade: C
Sarah Polley. Lose the jacket. And probably the glasses. Grade: B, for ANOTHER black dress.
Salma ... at some point you've got to stop wearing the saloon-style frocks that smash your tits. If I had tits like yours they'd be my pride and joy but in another few years, this look will become tres tacky. Just sayin'. Grade: B-
Natasha Lyonne. Cat Woman in Clod-hoppers. Grade: F-
MJ Rodriguez wore a ruffle. Grade: D-
Michele Williams in a stiff, ruffly, curlicue. Makes me itchy just looking at it. Grade: F-
Lisa Marie Presley aka Mistress of the Dark. Grade: F-
And last, but not least, the woman who shows up for every awards ceremony, ribbon cutting, and supermarket opening ... Heidi Klum - looking like two cents waiting for change. Grade: Double F-
That's it ladies and germs. Until Oscar Time!
SMOOCHES!
I liked Laverne’s hair but the dress made her book lopsided.
ReplyDeleteI liked Swank’s look, even the color because it was different, but those ribbons look ridiculous … like reins.
Ana and Angela made my tops, too. Gorgeous.
Ana Gasteyer was funny onstage, and clearly funny on the carpet when you see her dress.
Austin Butler gives me meth head Elvis.
That next one looks like Cinderella got knocked up at the ball.
Bob Odenkirk skipped all the fittings for the tux.
Gosh I love Claire Danes but this gives me Little Miss Muffet Sat On A Wedding Cake.
Daisey looks like she forgot the dress and wore the undergarments. I hear the actual gown was beautiful.
I forget their name, but they are non-binary and are on House of the Dragon, so I kind of get the look, but the makeup is odd.
Jean Smart is simple and classic and chic.
The next one is meh for me.
I liked Jenna Ortega’s look. It reminded me of Lily James without all the stiff cardboard fabric.
Jennifer’s look was simple but she elevated it with her two speeches.
Tyler James Williams in an odd suit [?] that looks like he got rained on pajama ensemble.
Jessica Chastain. Yes ma’am.
Who told that guy he could pull of a baby blue tie, cuz he can’t.
Julia Garner in Pepto Abysmal.
Lily James. Too much fabric, too stiff, too red, too try hard.
Viola looked good, like a long, tall blue sponge soaking up red carpet water.
Sigourney. Oh honey, you look pregnant in that dress and your hair looks like you just crawled out of an alley after an all-night bender.
Seth Rogan. Pink tuxedo. No. Never.
Is that a colostomy bag???
Selena Gomez looks old in that dress, but she could float in the pool and tether herself to the sides.
Sarah Polley. Very serious, and seriously hideous.
Salma is married to a billionaire who owns several fashion houses and this proves money and business connections can’t buy you anything but a ugly gown.
Natasha Lyon. The hair seems like a weird helmet, but the dress was okay, though the Frankenstein shoes were a bomb.
I love MJ’s dress; I love the architecture of it and that it wasn’t black and safe.
Michelle Williams looks like someone spilled a can of Pringles on her.
I gave Lisa Marie a hard time about this dress and maybe that killed her?***
Heidi has no taste in fashion or plastic surgeons.
***I’m gonna burn in hell for that one.
I'M PEEING!!!!!!!
DeleteOK - laughing hysterically and Danny is sitting here going what the hell????
These are pearls:
Austin Butler gives me meth head Elvis.
Gosh I love Claire Danes but this gives me Little Miss Muffet Sat On A Wedding Cake.
Julia Garner in Pepto Abysmal.
Viola looked good, like a long, tall blue sponge soaking up red carpet water.
Sigourney. Oh honey, you look pregnant in that dress and your hair looks like you just crawled out of an alley after an all-night bender.
Is that a colostomy bag??? - BRILLIANT!
Selena Gomez looks old in that dress, but she could float in the pool and tether herself to the sides.
Sarah Polley. Very serious, and seriously hideous.
Michelle Williams looks like someone spilled a can of Pringles on her.
Heidi has no taste in fashion or plastic surgeons.
GOTTA SHARE!!!
And if you're going to burn in hell I'm gonna burn with you.