Tuesday, September 14, 2021

The MET GALA ...

I looked through about a million pictures of everyone who attended this event.  There were some crazy ridiculous outfits and all I can think is ... WHO CONVINCED YOU TO WEAR THAT?!  I am going to post a few ... there were just TOO MANY and you'd be scrolling for three days so her goes!

Guess who?

You'll never guess in a million years ...

Kim Kardashian.  Yeah.  Kim K.  Sadly, right after walking the Red Carpet she had to be resuscitated.  Not only because she could not breathe through that head covering, but because she also did not get her narcissistic feed for the evening.  It was devastating.  She had to be taken to the ER and given fluids through an I.V.  The shock of realizing that NO ONE knew who she was was more than she could take.  Grade:  F-

NEXT ...

Jello.  She obviously has never heard that "less is more."  We have a hat, a fur wrap, a train, earrings, a thick choker, a necklace and a belt in a color palette of black, brown and silver.  Please see photo of Kim K. above.  Or better yet, next time just cover your ridiculous self with a burka.  Grade:  F-

Olivia Rodrigo.  Personally, I am not a fan of this sheer, unfinished look.  Either add a skirt or don't go to the event.  Grade:  F-

Lovely.  In the interest of fostering positive intergalactic relations, Anna Wintour invited the first ever Nordic Alien to the Met Gala.  Grade:  A 
(Only because I'm afraid she'll zap me with those creepy eyes of hers).

Frank Ocean has also jumped on the Alien bandwagon and taken part in fostering goodwill as well.  He brought his baby reptilian.  The little fella seems to really be enjoying the festivities.

Kendall wearing a sheer dress that looks more appropriate for the Folies Bergère.  It is beautiful, but the flesh colored panties and bustier ruin the look.  If you want to LOOK naked, why don't you just GO naked?

I know all these gals are trying to make an edgy fashion statement, but a horse?  Grade:  DOUBLE F-
... a horse is a horse of course of course ...  

Lorde.  I love this girl.  She truly IS edgy and authentic and I love what she's wearing.  I'm getting a Pocahontas vibe ... THIS is how you take a fashion risk.  I also think she has the most interesting face!  Grade:  A

Megan Fox channeling Bette Paige.  Very sexy, very beautiful, very chic with an edge.  Grade:  A

Rita Ora.  I think she is so pretty!  Grade:  A

Zoe Kravitz.  I can see her entire butt.  I could never, EVER show my butt like that.  Even if it looked like hers.  This isn't even a "gown."  It's a chain link fence.  Grade:  D

Why Taraji look so sad?

Could it be that outfit?

Whoopi.  NO.  Grade:  F-

Pete Davidson channeling Mrs. Doubtfire. What an idiot.  Grade:  F-

Gigi Hadid looking like a red-headed Barbie.  Grade:  B

Venus Williams looking very glam (unlike her sister who looked like a giant marshmallow).  Grade:  A

Serena Williams looking like a giant Marshmallow. Or those Mexican cookies.  Grade: F


This gal is wearing Louis Vuitton.  LOUIS VUITTON.  WHAT.  THE ACTUAL.  FUCK.  
I could have made this rag myself!  Just get some shiny black patent leather and fabric from my old Holly Hobbie dolls and voila!  Grade:  Double F-

Tres chic.  Grade:  A

Tom Ford.  YOWZA!!  What a man!  Grade:  A+

Timothy Chalamet.  I am posting this pic especially for my friend Maria T., who is a 45 year old perv and has a mean ol crush on this child.  Grade:  A
The Beebs looking quite debonair.  Grade:  A

Sharon Stone in a sparkly tent.  Grade:  D

Two things.  (1) Her name.  Saweetie; and 

(2) It's a thin line between sexy and slutty and she chose slutty.  Bet you a million bucks she bought it off the rack at Fredericks of Hollywood.  Grade:  F

YOWZA!!  Now that's a man!

Kobe Bryant's baby girl Natalia.  The perfect dress for "that time of the month."  Grade:  F-
I LIKE IT!  Grade:  A
LOVE HER!!!!  Megan should smile more often.  She has a beautiful smile and She SO PURDY!

Wow.  Boobs about to go BOOM!  Grade:  F-

Pretty in black.  I'd sure hate to have to wash that hair after tonight.  

Lourdes Leon channeling Cher.  How can her mother let her out of the house like that?!  OH.  I forgot.  Madonna is her mama.  GROSS!!!  Puchie!  Grade:  F

Lupita usually nails it.  Love the hair, love the makeup, hate the dress.  Lupita, denim NEVER makes for a good formal look.  Grade:  C-

Love this gown!  Grade:  A

Lily Rose Depp (don't you love nepotism) looking adorable in a pink and black Chanel.  Love.  Grade:  B

Dude truly takes chances.

Kristen Stewart.  Love it.  But hair color looks cheap and brassy.  Grade:  B

Kate Hudson.  The Princess of Hollywood.  Hate her, but outfit is cute.  Grade B

Karli Kloss looking every inch the model she is.  Grade:  A
Kaia Gerber.  Beautiful girl, beautiful dress.  Looking fresh, sophisticated and glamorous.  Grade A

Jennifer Hudson also looking very sophisticated and glam.  Grade:  A

Is the bullet bra back and nobody told me!
This dress has a kaleidoscope of color that has the power to induce vomiting.  Grade:  F-

Iman.  She looks like a talapa.


Eiza Gonzalez.  Beautiful in Red!  Grade: A

The beautiful Georgina Chapman, ex-wife of 
troll Harvey Weinstein, and now dating Adrian Brody.  Good for her!  Grade:  A

Emily Blunt, my FAVORITE ACTRESS!  She does kinda look like the Statue of Liberty but in my eyes she can do now wrong.  Grade:  A 

Donatella.  Hun, when ladies have super wrinkly arms they should not go sleeveless.  That's why they invented the Shrug.  Grade:  D-

Love this Audrey Hepburn throw back.

Diane Kruger usually nails it but this thing is beyond awful. And her makeup and hair are equally terrible. Grade:  DOUBLE F-

Debbie Harry.  Another who can do no wrong in my book!  LOVE HER!

Dan Levy.  I love you, but what the schitt!

Class Couple!  The Curreys.  

Cruella Deville circa 2021.

The Cowboy Bobsy Twins.  Grade:  F-

UH ... girlfriend ... do you know that everyone can see your panties?

Channing Tatum ... YOWZA!  Grade:  A

Cary Mulligan.  TOO pink and the hair is too 1950's Chantilly Lace ponytail.
Grade:  D

Love the slutty 1970's vibe.  NOT.

When asked "who" they were wearing, they both said in Unison ... Merrie Melodies by Looney Tunes.

Simone Biles.  AY.  YI YI.  Not the choice to make when you're three feet tall.  Grade:  F

The Devil Herself ... Anna Wintour.  And yeah, she gets an A because she might cut off my head.

This lady decided to attend as a snowflake.


Hope you enjoyed.  Sorry if I missed anyone you wanted to see.  Until next time ...


1 comment:

  1. I think Debbie Harryw on the night, though Lil Nas was also fabulous.




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