SO, I wake up to a big red envelope leaning on the coffee pot and a gigantic bag of peanut M&M’s.
He knows I’m watching my diet. WHY does he do this to me? Candy is like crack to me. So, I manage to ignore the bag of M&M’s for two days. TWO WHOLE DAYS. Finally, last night, I tear open the bag, and as I do, I see, ever so slightly, the rolling of the eyes, the shaking of the head …. I LOST IT.
"DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE DO THAT!!!! YOU BOUGHT THE CANDY!!!! YOU BROUGHT IT INTO THE HOUSE!!! YOU KNOW IT’S LIKE HEROIN TO ME!!! JUST FOR THAT I’M NOT SHARING WITH YOU!!! DICK!!"
HAPPY FUCKIN’ VALENTINES DAY!
He's an M&M dealer.
ReplyDeleteHA! I love this! I am not alone!
ReplyDeleteLOL! I'm right there with you! I start this challenge for Lent & my husband comes home with Ruffle Potatoe Chips & a Cherry Pie! 🙄 Bianca
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you! I start this Diet/Challenge for Lent & my husband comes home with Ruffle Potatoe Chips & an Cherry Pie! 🙄
ReplyDelete