LET'S GET TO IT ...
ZOOEY DEUTSCH (do you know her mommie is Lea Thompson from Back to the Future?) This girl is beautiful! Make up is perfection, hair is gorgeous, gown is beautiful. Overall look: A+ times nine = WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!
ADAM RIPPON looking very dapper with a little S&M feel thrown in (hopefully to piss off V.P. Pence) Grade: A
ALLISON JANEY - Mhmmm .... not very exciting. Kind of Juliet Louis-Dreyfuss in that the dress is skin tight, a solid color, but nothing special .... and I really do not dig those long ass sleeves. And the bag is too matchy-matchy. Grade: C-
ALISON WILLIAMS in a beautiful nude/peach beaded gown. Hair is very pretty, jewelry is perfect and the makeup is flawless. Grade: A+ THIS ONE IS A WINNER!!!
ASHLEY JUDD and MIRA SORVINO looking beautiful and lovely together, and on behalf of women everywhere, sending out a big FUCK YOU to Harvey Weinstein. Grade: A and A
BLANCA BLANCO .... This chick's name always cracks me up. In English it's WHITE WHITE. Not sure how I feel about this gown but I can tell you, it's making me feel really cold. Could it be she put it on backwards? Grade: C-
MARIA MENOUNOS ... she is my favorite girl! Beautiful hair, beautiful gown and beautiful make up in a gorgeous black ball gown. The earrings could have been bigger.
Grade: A+
BETTY GABRIEL. Apparently, the look this year was to bare your entire chest. Not feeling this dress. Grade: C-
DARRELL BRITT - whoever you are I'm loving the pink jacket with black lapel, however your pants are WAY TOO SHORT and you obviously didn't have enough money to rent a proper pair of shoes. Grade: D-
JANET MOCK - love this look. She's beautiful. Hair/makeup/jewels/gown - A Plus!
LINDSEY VONN - looking very Miss Kitty goes Porn. The choker necklace is ALL WRONG and should be removed immediately! Take off the gold watch and a pair of chandelier earrings would have killed it. Grade: C
RITA MORENO. One of the very few people to have won an Emmy, a Golden Globe, an Oscar and a Tony. So, apparently this is what she decided to wear to the 90th Academy Awards ... the dress she wore when she won her Oscar for West Side Story back in the 1960's. Wearing this was a BIG mistake. The skirt is horrible, the headband is unnecessary, the earrings are too big, the Cleopatra necklace is distracting, the long black gloves are unnecessary and you should have worn your contacts tonight. And I'm only saying this out of love, but a lady of a certain age should cover up her shoulders and upper arms. We don't need to be seeing that loose skin. Grade: F- to the double negative. Jeez. Rita, surely you own a mirror.
EIZA GONZALEZ .... Future Sex Bomb. I think we'll be seeing a lot from this one. VERY BEAUTIFUL GIRL. The dress reminds me of a bathing suit I used to have. Grade: B
GINA RODRIGUEZ .... So pretty. Grade: B
SALMA HAYAK looking like a Bollywood Princess. Those gigantic rhinestones look really cheap, the fabric is pretty with those palettes but there's just too much going on. Maybe without the rhinestones it would have worked but I seriously doubt it. And I don't like that lipstick. And her boobs look ENORMOUS ... and not in a good way. The whole look is a big hot mess. Grade: F-
NANCY O'DELL looking like she always does ... very pageanty. I don't like it. And again with the long ass sleeve. Grade: D
SAMARA WEAVING .... no idea who she is but she looks very pretty. Love the hair, love the gown, love the makeup, LOVE everything - Grade: A+
TAURA STIMSON - Amazing what one can do with a plastic trash bag.
Grade: F-
AUDRA DAY - All that's missing is the big white pompadour wig and she'd totally be channeling Marie Antoinette. And the nails have to go! Grade: B
GRETA GERWIG .... Love her! She's sunny just like her dress. I'm going to give her a C+
JENNIFER GARNER. WOW!! Looking absolutely gorgeous and sexy. That shade of blue is EVERYTHING! The hair is va-va-VOOM! Who needs Ben! Grade: A+ WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!
JENNIFER LAWRENCE. Very sexy. Love the hair, love the makeup! (Doesn't she remind you of a young Helen Mirren?) Grade: A+
JORDAN PEELE looking very dapper. Grade: A
KELLY RIPA. In this photograph she looks normal sized but if you saw her on the camera, when she turned around her upper back is totally shoulder blades and loose skin .... scary. Basically, a bone in a black gown. Grade: D (not feeling the colored bow in the back). Grade: E (for eat something)
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MARGOT ROBBIE - AMAZING!!!!! WINNER WINNER WINNER!!! GRADE: A
SANDY MARTIN just proving that even cowgirls can get the blues. Grade: F-
ZENDAYA .... FABULOUS!!!! She always nails it! A+ WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!
Another view ....
EMILY BLUNT is my favorite actress. However, I'm not feeling this dress. It looks like a homemade prom dress cir. 1974. make up and jewelry is beautiful, but the dress is a big, fat failure. Grade: D
EMMA STONE ever the fashion trendsetter. This looked much better on film. I loved it!
Grade: A
GAL GADOT Wonder Woman herself looking smashing in silver! Grade: A
LUPITA NYONGY'O. FABULOUS!!!!! She is sooooooo beautiful! Grade: A+
MAYA RUDOLPH looking like a serious matron. Odd for such a funny lady.
MOLLY SIMS .... beautiful dress. Very glam with the big statement earring and the Harlow hair. Grade: A
NICOLE KIDMAN on film it looked GORGEOUS but in the picture it looks like stiff paper. Not sure I'm liking the red lip. The earrings are wrong. I don't know why, it's almost as though they're not big enough. What do YOU think?
PHOEBE WALLER BRIDGE. Whoever you are, I'm totally getting a Dalamation feel ... I love how you incorporated the dots from your dress to the one on your forehead. Grade: C-
SANDRA BULLOCK looking fab. Grade: A
SAOIRSE RONAN, I'm getting a 60's vibe from this look. Super talented little actress. Grade: B
TIMOTHEE CHALAMET, hon you're really adorable in your white tux but what possessed you to wear black boots?
WHOOPIE GOLDBERG ... I used to love Whoopie but now I find her super annoying. This dress is so ugly there is just no other way to describe it. What the hell was she thinking? What's lower than an F-? That's she she deserves.
ST. VINCENT ... whoever you are ... you do realize you forgot your skirt, right?
SO, THAT'S IT. Please feel free to comment if I didn't mention any of your favorites.
Until next year .... SMOOCHES!
Zooey Deutsch. I didn’t see her. She’s pretty, but I loathe a tier dress.
ReplyDeleteAdam Rippon in a harness! Mike Pence got wood at that sight.
I liked Alison’s understated look. I liked that she brought color.
Allsion Williams. Meh. I am no fan of the nude, peachy, pink dresses.
Mira and Ashley. Glad they came, but except for taking a stab at Harvey why were they there.
Blanca Blanco? Blanca Blanc-No.
Maria Menounos. I can’t with her, Cannot.
Betty Gabriel. She and Gina Rodriguez hade the open wide cleavage. Not good.
Darrell Britt. Don’t know him, and don’t want to …the shoes!
Janet Mock. Meh.
Lindsey Von. Ick.
Rita. Why a mother%king turban!??!
Eiza Gonzalez. Take it or leave it. Leave it.
Gina Rodriguez. Wide cleavage, no.
Salam put the fug in fugly.
Mary J. Blige. Meh.
Nancy O’Don’t.
Samara Weaving … I got nothing.
Taura Stimson. Hefty.Hefty.Hefty. Bag.
Andra Day. A Motel Six in Daytona is missing its sheets.
Greta brought great color!
Jennifer Garner looks like a pageant queen. Miss Used To Be Affleck?
JLaw. I didn’t like the dress with the hair, or her big head, Literally and figuratively.
Jordan pPeele. Adorbs.
Kelly looks like old Hollywood, not Old Hollywood.
Margot Robbie, Oscars so white, I wanted color.
Sandy Martin. That’s all.
Zendaya. The dress swallowed her.
Emily Blunt. Nope, not liking it.
Emma Stone. See: Emily Blunt.
Gal Gadot, yes; Lupita, sadly no.
Nicole Kidman. DingDingDing. Winner! I loved this one!
But that’s just me.
Every year you have me spitting out my coffee .... this was the one
DeleteAndra Day. A Motel Six in Daytona is missing its sheets
DYING LAUGHING!!!!!