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THE DIRTY ON KIM AND KANYE ...

Kimye Wedding Venue
 
So last post I said I was going to try to be less a part of all that is nonsense and try to blog about more positive topics that convey wisdom and truth.  However, I did also say that I would continue to dish dirt (on occasion) ... so here is the dirt:
 
The whole world is all a twitter because Kimye is tying the knot this weekend and the ONLY, and I repeat ONLY reason I am blogging about this is because I have fans who expect me to weigh in on the third walk down the aisle for Miss Kim.  So here goes.
 
Word on the street is that brother-from-another-mother, Brody Jenner, is
Dayum, is he cute or what!
boycotting the wedding because Kim did not invite “plus ones” which means Brody can’t bring his girlfriend.  I always hated that when I was single.  I can’t tell you how many invitations I got that were addressed to ‘JUST ME’ … but you know what?  I WENT ALONE to countless weddings and never had a problem because when you got STYLE and CONFIDENCE you don’t need no stinkin’ date!  Anywho, Kim has enough cash to invite the entire state of California, why she couldn’t invite Brody’s girlfriend is beyond me, but whatever, she’s obviously a b*tch with an attitude. 
 
The entire country of Italy is all a whirl because Kimye and their minions have begun arriving daily to the excitement and consternation of many Italians.  I hear the venue was “second choice” because Kim and Kanye were denied permission to marry at the Palace of Versailles (GOD SOMEONE KILL ME). 
 
Next, everyone is wondering WHAT WILL HER DRESS LOOK LIKE?  All I can tell you is  I saw lots of garment bags marked Valentino, but truth be told, Vera Wang is Kimmie’s personal bridal designer (which means Vera will have a lifelong gig).  My guess?  Tits-and-ass a flashing.  I’m guessing mermaid style to show off those fabulous curves and perhaps a gigantic tiara awash in diamonds and pearls.  Personally, I'm picturing something right out of "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" ...


Just like a Princess

Perfect for Kendall and Kylie
Putting on such a show for a third marriage to your baby daddy is beyond me but of course we ARE talking about a Kardashian.  No expense is too great.  Perhaps little North will enter flittering in on a pink cloud from above with angels and doves accompanying her.  The mother from hell, Kris Jenner, will either be wearing BLACK or WHITE because all she ever wears is BLACK OR WHITE.  Bruce, ponytail beribboned and in white tie and tails will escort his stepdaughter down the aisle to her Prince Charming and baby daddy, Kanye, who will be dressed in a diamond tuxedo.  Vows will be said, tears will be shed and there will, at last, be PEACE IN THE WORLD
 
Thank you Jesus.

Comments

  1. It'll out-trash the trashiest white trash wedding ever, and then millions--though not me--will watch it on TV.

    Bets line I heard was Wendy Williams talking about someone who was invited to the wedding and probably couldn't go; she said, "Don't worry about missing Kim's wedding, you can always go to the next one."

    ReplyDelete
  2. The poor gays who can't get married in this world yet this one with her third trip down the aisle...well, it just makes me gag. I can't wait until she's a thing of the past.

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YET ANOTHER ADVENTURE ... YES, IN DANNYLAND ...

So, after my husband told me that I was mean to him I decided to make him his favorite dinner.  Roasted chicken, Stove Top stuffing and corn.  Hearty comfort food.  As you all know, our rule is -- whoever cooks, the other does the dishes.  

After enjoying our meal, and good night of TV, we headed upstairs to bed, BUT ... Danny remained downstairs, went into the kitchen and started doing the dishes!  As I relaxed in bed and heard him clanging the dishes as he did them I almost felt bad for him and contemplated telling him to forget the dishes ... do them tomorrow.  But I didn't.  I felt I had to stick to my guns.  

That morning, Danny was planning to spend the day with a friend at a racquetball tournament.  I was still sleeping as he kissed me good-bye.  I told him to have a good time and thanked him for doing the dishes last night.

When I woke up, THIS is what I found in my sink.  

I only wished I'd taken the picture before all the suds went away.  THIS is how Danny does dishes.  …

DANNYLAND ...

Danny has this disgusting habit of brushing his teeth and then rinsing his toothbrush and leaving it ALL WET in the toothbrush thing.  (See photo below.  A roll of toilet paper he sets on the counter like a cup and then sticks his toothbrush in the middle of it) ... what a genius huh?

The point?  Adisgusting, wet toothbrush will collect bacteria and mosquitoes and it's disgusting and filthy.  It drives me crazy.  Does he stop?  NO.  


What you're supposed to do is brush, rinse with HOT water and then DRY THE BRUSH THOROUGHLY ... THEN put it in the toothbrush thing.  IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

And how hard is it to take the yogurt OUT of the plastic bag?


God forbid he break a sweat. 

 Also, he never EVER closes a drawer, a cabinet, or a door ... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Don't you HATE when your husband makes hamburgers ...




*sigh* ... my life.

HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

An Ode to Viggo
Who knows where or when my love for you began it took me by surprise and filled up my whole life
Some laughed and called me mad but I knew that was sad for love cannot be mocked and Viggo, my world rocked
I've seen his every film, his songs, his poems and still I love him more each day and that's how it will stay  for in my dreams he lives
Each step through ether's door we meet forever more and so shall it remain until my life should wane
- Signed Debbie Nunez Mortensen :) (yes, I know I'm weird)