THE DIRTY ON KIM AND KANYE ...

Kimye Wedding Venue
 

So last post I said I was going to try to be less a part of all that is nonsense and try to blog about more positive topics that convey wisdom and truth.  However, I did also say that I would continue to dish dirt (on occasion) ... so here is the dirt:

 

The whole world is all a twitter because Kimye is tying the knot this weekend and the ONLY, and I repeat ONLY reason I am blogging about this is because I have fans who expect me to weigh in on the third walk down the aisle for Miss Kim.  So here goes.

 

Word on the street is that brother-from-another-mother, Brody Jenner, is

Dayum, is he cute or what!

boycotting the wedding because Kim did not invite “plus ones” which means Brody can’t bring his girlfriend.  I always hated that when I was single.  I can’t tell you how many invitations I got that were addressed to ‘JUST ME’ … but you know what?  I WENT ALONE to countless weddings and never had a problem because when you got STYLE and CONFIDENCE you don’t need no stinkin’ date!  Anywho, Kim has enough cash to invite the entire state of California, why she couldn’t invite Brody’s girlfriend is beyond me, but whatever, she’s obviously a b*tch with an attitude. 

 

The entire country of Italy is all a whirl because Kimye and their minions have begun arriving daily to the excitement and consternation of many Italians.  I hear the venue was “second choice” because Kim and Kanye were denied permission to marry at the Palace of Versailles (GOD SOMEONE KILL ME). 

 

Next, everyone is wondering WHAT WILL HER DRESS LOOK LIKE?  All I can tell you is  I saw lots of garment bags marked Valentino, but truth be told, Vera Wang is Kimmie’s personal bridal designer (which means Vera will have a lifelong gig).  My guess?  Tits-and-ass a flashing.  I’m guessing mermaid style to show off those fabulous curves and perhaps a gigantic tiara awash in diamonds and pearls.  Personally, I'm picturing something right out of "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" ...

Just like a Princess

Perfect for Kendall and Kylie

Putting on such a show for a third marriage to your baby daddy is beyond me but of course we ARE talking about a Kardashian.  No expense is too great.  Perhaps little North will enter flittering in on a pink cloud from above with angels and doves accompanying her.  The mother from hell, Kris Jenner, will either be wearing BLACK or WHITE because all she ever wears is BLACK OR WHITE.  Bruce, ponytail beribboned and in white tie and tails will escort his stepdaughter down the aisle to her Prince Charming and baby daddy, Kanye, who will be dressed in a diamond tuxedo.  Vows will be said, tears will be shed and there will, at last, be PEACE IN THE WORLD. 

 

Thank you Jesus.