VIGGO ...

It’s been a very, very long time, but Viggo came to see me in the ether last night.  I was stunned.  It’s been SO long.  I was with friends in a big cabin in the woods and it was very dark out.  There were quite a few of us hanging out when lo and behold, who walks in the door?  He showed up bearing gifts ... books and balls of twine, and I thought back to the first time I saw him in the library so long ago when I would try to steal glances at him without getting caught.  Now, here he was so many years later, more familiar than ever and yet strange all at the same time.

He was, as usual, in the midst of making a movie, one he was certain would win him the Academy Award.  He told me the name of it and gave me a free pass to where it was screening.  I was disappointed he didn’t give me a DVD.  The theatre that was screening it was far, far away.  He said he tried but couldn’t manage it. 

 

I found myself falling into the same old pattern ... desperately trying to appear nonchalant and at the same time wanting to tell him how much I loved him and get him alone.  But the time apart had made me feel a stranger ... incapable of the once comfortable, familiar closeness I used to feel.  And more than anything, I didn't want to appear desperate.

 

Everyone began playing games.  He jumped into acting various versions of different classic films, horror films and the like.  I didn’t like it.  He was scaring me.  Then, as usually happens in the ether, suddenly we were in the bedroom.  He was lying on the bed telling me how lonely he was.  I asked him if he had a girlfriend (already knowing about HER) and he nodded yes, but that it wasn’t working out.  Next, as can only happen in the ether, he was still lying on the bed, but now he was wearing an unbuttoned blue shirt and a pair of dark bikini underwear.  He got up off the bed and walked toward me and stood so close to me that I could feel the warmth of his body.  He stood in front of me.  He wanted me to start it.  I couldn’t.  Danny you know … no woman on the face of the earth has ever known a more cruel temptation.  But I left him there to join the others, cursing myself as I walked out of the room because I wanted so badly to grab hold of him and finally know what it would really be like to have him in that way.  The regret was tangible.  But then again, perhaps it was merely indicative of our long and strange relationship ... soul mates for always and never.