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A RE-RUN .... A really scary story

Yesterday I went to the market for a few things and decided to bring something for dessert ... carrot cake. This is not the husband's favorite but since I'm always bringing him apple turnovers and blackberry pie I thought I thought I'd get one of MY favorites for a change. When he gets home from work I hold it up and say "LOOK HONEY! CARROT CAKE! HOURS AND HOURS OF EATING PLEASURE" He very unenthusiastically says, "you know I don't like carrot cake - you got that for YOU."

Fast forward to the next morning ... open the fridge to get a piece of carrot cake with my coffee ... AND THE WHOLE THING IS GONE!!! WHAT! So I call him at work ...


Dan: Hello?

Me: I thought you didn't like carrot cake?!

Dan: I don't.
Me: Then how come you ate all the carrot cake?!
Dan: I didn't.

Me: Dan, I saw the empty box in the trash and the entire cake is gone!

Dan: I KNOW! I didn't eat that carrot cake YOU DID. I saw it this morning and said DAYUM, SHE ATE THE WHOLE THING!

Me: Danny, don't play with me ... I know you're lying!
Dan: No I'm not ... I SWEAR.  I didn't eat it. You did.

Slowly, I began to deduce. 1 - he doesn't like carrot cake; 2 - I like carrot cake; 3 - I took an Ambien; 4 - it's very possible I ate all that carrot cake and have no memory of it because I was in an Ambien induced high.

It's just like that time I saw pink toe nail clippings all over the living room rug and couldn't figure out how they got there. Or like the time Breanne told me I came into her room and started trying on all her shoes and I couldn't remember. Or like that other time when I posted naked pictures of Dr. Laura on my blog.
What am I GONNA DO? I have insomnia?! If I don't take Ambien I don't sleep! It's horrible! OMG - I may have to start EXERCISING to make myself physically tired and I HATE EXERCISE! Maybe I can just switch meds! Maybe the doctor can prescribe some other sleep medication that doesn't make me crazy and cause hallucinations and memory loss!

SHIT .... okay everyone, I'LL KEEP YOU POSTED.


  1. Yep... that is very scary. Esp the part about excercising!

  2. Debbie! You have me peeing in my scrubs girl!!!!!!! That is sooooooo funny!! I stopped taking that stuff because the same thing happened to me. I woke up with all my clothes sprawled out on the bed, asked Craig why he threw my clothes from the closet onto the bed. He said, "You kept complaining how messy the closet was and started clearing everyhting out" WOW! from a dead sleep to cleaning out the closet! And no recollection of the whole thing!! Scary shit alright! Try something else Deb, I started taking Melatonin. It regulates your sleep cycle.

  3. That was from me, the comment above

    Your cuz,

  4. Are you freakin' kidding me? That's crazy! Stop taking it and tell your doctor. There's gotta be something else you can take. On the other hand, you can do some crazy stuff and not take responsibilty for


  5. Um, okay, I'm laughing so hard, I've peed myself, and I keep thinking "Danny better sleep with his eyes open. He may piss you off one day and you may just take "matters into your own hands...." ...that's when I knew I needed to leave my husband, when I started thinking of ways to bump him off and NOT get caught!! LOL! I have heard about those "Ambien induced comas"....Love ya!


  6. This is halarious. Danny did eat the cake

  7. Holy Cow!
    I'm with Bunny. Dump that stuff and now. Exercising is better than what you just described.



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So, after my husband told me that I was mean to him I decided to make him his favorite dinner.  Roasted chicken, Stove Top stuffing and corn.  Hearty comfort food.  As you all know, our rule is -- whoever cooks, the other does the dishes.  

After enjoying our meal, and good night of TV, we headed upstairs to bed, BUT ... Danny remained downstairs, went into the kitchen and started doing the dishes!  As I relaxed in bed and heard him clanging the dishes as he did them I almost felt bad for him and contemplated telling him to forget the dishes ... do them tomorrow.  But I didn't.  I felt I had to stick to my guns.  

That morning, Danny was planning to spend the day with a friend at a racquetball tournament.  I was still sleeping as he kissed me good-bye.  I told him to have a good time and thanked him for doing the dishes last night.

When I woke up, THIS is what I found in my sink.  

I only wished I'd taken the picture before all the suds went away.  THIS is how Danny does dishes.  …


Danny has this disgusting habit of brushing his teeth and then rinsing his toothbrush and leaving it ALL WET in the toothbrush thing.  (See photo below.  A roll of toilet paper he sets on the counter like a cup and then sticks his toothbrush in the middle of it) ... what a genius huh?

The point?  Adisgusting, wet toothbrush will collect bacteria and mosquitoes and it's disgusting and filthy.  It drives me crazy.  Does he stop?  NO.  

What you're supposed to do is brush, rinse with HOT water and then DRY THE BRUSH THOROUGHLY ... THEN put it in the toothbrush thing.  IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

And how hard is it to take the yogurt OUT of the plastic bag?

God forbid he break a sweat. 

 Also, he never EVER closes a drawer, a cabinet, or a door ... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't you HATE when your husband makes hamburgers ...

*sigh* ... my life.


An Ode to Viggo
Who knows where or when my love for you began it took me by surprise and filled up my whole life
Some laughed and called me mad but I knew that was sad for love cannot be mocked and Viggo, my world rocked
I've seen his every film, his songs, his poems and still I love him more each day and that's how it will stay  for in my dreams he lives
Each step through ether's door we meet forever more and so shall it remain until my life should wane
- Signed Debbie Nunez Mortensen :) (yes, I know I'm weird)