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A RE-RUN WHINE ...


I HATE bending over.  If I'm sitting in a chair and I drop my pen or anything that makes me have to bend over I'm all FUCK!!  Whenever I vacuum, which I did today, and the vacuum cleaner does not pick up a tiny piece of paper or a sliver of thread that I've passed the vacuum over five times I will leave it there until the next time I vacuum.  And you know that that damn piece of paper or sliver of thread will remain on the carpet in the exact same location until I finally have to fucken bend over and pick it up.  However, if I happen to catch the edge of the bedspread that vacuum will suck up the entire thing!  WHY IS THAT?!  Or how come whenever I lose an earring or some other precious memento on the carpet and the only LOGICAL place on EARTH it could be is within a small diameter of space where I dropped it but somehow despite the rules of quantum physics, time and space, that fucken earring will have bounced from the spot on the carpet and magically appear downstairs under the sink?  I HATE when that happens.

The other day I lost my glasses.  I had them in my hand.  I FELT them in my hand.  I KNOW they were in my hand and then ... they were gone.  I was in the living room when I lost them.  I didn't leave the living room and go upstairs or go outside and make a cartwheel and then go into the kitchen.  The only logical place they could have been was somewhere in the living room.  I looked and looked and looked and cursed a blue streak because THEY WERE IN MY FUCKING HAND TWO SECONDS AGO!!!  And I swear, whenever this crap happens I am deathly afraid that I am truly losing my mind.  How could something be there and then ... be gone?  It's like magic.  So after going upstairs three times to search for my stupid glasses (even though I KNEW there was no way in hell they were going to be upstairs ... but because I don't trust myself and fear that I really am in the early stages of Alzheimer's, I go upstairs anyway) and they're not there.  I retrace my steps for 20 minutes until I finally give up.  I sit on the couch and now I can't find the remote.  I look around and see it on the floor ... OF COURSE ... and, as I bend down to pick it up (FUCK!) THERE ... between the end table and the sofa ... are my glasses. 
 





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- Signed Debbie Nunez Mortensen :) (yes, I know I'm weird)






























DANNYLAND ...

Danny has this disgusting habit of brushing his teeth and then rinsing his toothbrush and leaving it ALL WET in the toothbrush thing.  (See photo below.  A roll of toilet paper he sets on the counter like a cup and then sticks his toothbrush in the middle of it) ... what a genius huh?

The point?  Adisgusting, wet toothbrush will collect bacteria and mosquitoes and it's disgusting and filthy.  It drives me crazy.  Does he stop?  NO.  


What you're supposed to do is brush, rinse with HOT water and then DRY THE BRUSH THOROUGHLY ... THEN put it in the toothbrush thing.  IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

And how hard is it to take the yogurt OUT of the plastic bag?


God forbid he break a sweat. 

 Also, he never EVER closes a drawer, a cabinet, or a door ... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Don't you HATE when your husband makes hamburgers ...




*sigh* ... my life.

OSCARS BEST AND WORST ...

Well, for some unknown reason I was unable to get E! Live on the Red Carpet!  I called the cable company, I unplugged the t.v. to reboot it ... NOTHING.  SO, I had to go with Channel 7's coverage which is NOT NEARLY AS IN DEPTH as E!  Needless to say Mama was pissed. 

So, with that in mind ... let's get started!


Alicia Vikander.  Beautiful!  She looks very young and sweet and elegant.  Love the color of this gown .... Grade:  A


Jennifer Lawrence.  BEAUTIFUL!  Love the hair, love the make up, love the the gown.  WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!  Grade:  A++


Brie Larson.  I'm not really feeling this gown.  The color is beautiful but the belt and the bling and the ruffles and the pleats ... there's a lot going on here.  Grade:  C



Nice guy Dave Grohl and wife.  Class Couple!  Love her dress and earrings ... very pretty. Dave .... it's the ACADEMY AWARDS .... a traditional tux would have worked much better and you would have looked SO HANDSOME.  Wife Grade:  A, Dave's Grade:…