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My favorite time of the year!  Oscar Sunday.  Let's get started shall we?

Salma Hayek - PERFECTION.  Salma never, EVER disappoints.  She knows how to dress for her petite frame and always knocks it out of the park.  I love the gold headpiece in her hair, the gold neckline and beautiful black velvet with gold clutch.  Grade:  A+

Charlize Theron.  WHAT A BEAUTY!  The gown is perfection.  The hair is AMAZING.  Not many can pull off a pixie haircut like this.  You have to have a beautiful face and amazing bone structure.  Not much else to say when someone looks so absolutely gorgeous.  Grade:  A+

Jennifer Lawrence.  PERFECTION.  Loved this gown.  It almost looks like a very, very light pink but I believe it's white.  She pulled this off effortlessly.  Beautiful hair, makeup and jewelery.  You can't see it very well in the picture, but she wore a beautiful necklace that draped down her back.  Gorgeous.  Grade:  A+

What can I say, there were a lot of winners last night.

Naomi Watts.  I loved this gown.  Beautiful color and I love the different neckline and bodice.  Her hair was good, makeup beautiful, jewels were perfect.  Grade:  Yup!  Another A+

Jessica Chastain.  This was a beautiful gown.  Just the right amount of color that went well with her skin and hair color.  Another A for Jessica Chastain.

Jennifer Hudson.  OK.  First of all I do not like the Morticia hair.  The dress is pretty enough but I feel like all it's missing are the fins at the bottom.  She looked like a mermaid. Grade:  C

Halle Berry.  I've said it before, I'll say it again ... Halle NEVER gets it wrong.  She looks beautiful.  Love the gown, love the makeup, love the hair.  Grade:  A+

Kerry Washington.  Loved the shade of this gown.  It was a beautiful coral shade loved the beading on the bodice but I think she should have worn her hair up.  Other than that I'll give her a solid B.

Anne Hathaway.  I didn't like this dress.  It looked like it didn't fit right and that diamond necklace was totally unnecessary.  The color was a much too pale pink and blends right into her skin washing her out.  Over all look is WAY too pale.  Anne is one of those gals who is almost pretty but her features are too big.  Big eyes, big nose, big mouth.  Grade:  D-   A most unexciting look.

Amy Adams went with a very pale blue ball gown.  I really loved this on her.  She is a beautiful girl when she wears her makeup correctly.  I'm going to give her an A+.

Catherine Zeta-Jones.  CATHERINE!  CHANGE YOUR FUCKEN HAIRSTYLE PLEASE ... JEEZ!!  Get some bangs or something.  Catherine always wears the same gown.  Spaghetti straps and the same neckline.  ALWAYS.  And that scrolling gold overlay isn't working.  You look like a Zeigfeld girl.  Maybe if she wore her hair up or cut some bangs or SOMETHING she might have warranted a better grade but unfortunately for Catherine, this year I'm giving her a C-

Amanda Seyfried.  OK.  I wasn't feeling this halter type neckline.  But she is a beautiful girl and the dress was very pretty.  It was a very light lavender with some gold overlay.  Very feminine, but it seems she still needs something ... more jewelery?  I don't know.  I'm going to give her a C.

Zoe Saldana.  OK.  I don't get the frou-frou at the top and then she has a belt and a bow and then black and grey chiffon at the hem ?????  Me no likee.  Grade:  D-   Also, her makeup and hair were not good.  She looks way too thin in the face and had no color.  More blush?  More lip?  I don't know but the makeup definitely needed something.  She also needs to eat something. 

Melissa McCarthy.  She looked VERY pretty.  Loved the color of this gown and the applique at the ends of the sleeves and at the shoulder.  However, it did bug the crap outta me when Skeletor Giuliana Rancic and Kelly Osbourne kept going ON AND ON about how "you don't have to be a size 2 to look beautiful and gorgeous and blah blah blah."  SHADDUP!  Just say she looked beautiful and MOVE THE FUCK ON.  Ugh.  I'm giving Melissa an A.  Makeup - beautiful; hair - beautiful.  Overall look:  beautiful.

Maria Menounos.  I love this girl.  I think she is so pretty and sexy.  I loved this gown and I especially loved her hair.  Very 1960's.  And she has great boobs.  Grade:  B+

Brandi Glanville?  Like WTF was she doing there?  And that dress ... honey, why did you even bother covering up your boobs?  You should have just gone topless and it would have looked the same.  Or better yet, how about a couple of pasties?  The Oscar Red Carpet is not a place for Brandi Glanville.  Sorry.  I like her but she is not Red Carpet material.  Grade:  F- (plus another minus for bad taste).

Uh ... I can't decide.  It needs something .... but I can't tell what.  Oh Jen ... I gotta give you a C-

Jennnifer Garner and Ben Affleck.  Cutest Couple.  Grade:  A+

George Clooney and girlfriend #17.  Very cute.  Great body, nice dress.  Georgie always looks great.  George - Grade:  A.  Girlfriend #17 - Grade:  B+

OK.  The silhouette of this dress was very beautiful on her however, she looks like she was dipped in oil and then added some gold curly-cues at the bottom and a few gold spangles at the bustline.  I feel like I need to hand her some paper towels.  Not the best look for Nicole.  I'm going to give her a B- for the overall look (but a C- for the dress itself) because though I don't like the oily blackness of the sequince it is a very nice neckline and great fit. 

Adele.  I LOVE this girl.  Incredibly talented (writes and composes her own music) and she is so beautiful.  I loved her makeup, hair gorgeous, dress was very nice.  I'm going to give her a B+

OK.  I love her hair shorter.  It is very becoming.  Again, she much too thin and though this gown is definitely haute coture, I don't like the black.  Not on her.  Anywhoo ... I'm going to give Giuliana a B-

Joseph Gordon Levitt.  I love this kid.  He is so cute and super talented.  Joseph gets a big fat A.

Reese Witherspoon.  Very chic and elegant.  Loved the hair (side part) very Veronica Lake.  Love the cobalt blue with the black trim.  This is very reminiscent of the gown she wore a few years back.  I'm going to give Reese an A.

The amazing Helen Hunt.  Proudly announcing that she got her gown from H&M.  Helen ... it looks like it.  It's all wrinkled and funky and you can so easily afford haute coture.  Do not wear H&M on the Red Carpet again.  EVER.  Grade:  F-

Sandra Bullock.  Beautiful.  Clean.  Simple.  This is very similiar to the gown she wore when she won the academy award.  The sort of scalloped pattern in black and silver.  Very nice.  Good hair, good makeup.  Sandra gets an A.  

Okay ladies and germs ... that's it for this season.  Mama had a rough January with lots of sad news and it seems to just keep on coming.  I did my best.  Please feel free to leave comments and add those stars I forgot, etc., et al. 




  1. Salma: That neck thing is too big. it looks like it's trying to mate with the thing in her hair.
    Charlize: Abso-freakin-lutely gorgeous.
    JLaw: Pretty, but, um, wasn't it really a circus tent? That was one huge mutha of a skirt!
    Naomi: The.Best. Because she looked like no one else.
    JChas: It's all too matchy-matchy with the hair the lip the skin the dress.
    JHud: The hair was a bit too much, but she';s my girl so I'm'a give her props.
    Halle: Did she fly in from the 80s? I know it's Versace, but it looks like OLD Versace.
    KWash: Love the dress, hate the hair and makeup.
    Annie H: Too plain a color, and that way too low, square cut back with the side boob and the prominent nipple biz was too much.
    Amy A: Prom Queen Yawn.
    CZetaJ: For a ninety year old woman she looks, um, okay, she's a trainwreck. It looks like she raided Joan Collin's Dynasty wardrobe.
    ASeyfried: Always looks a little drunk to me, and this dress seemed to sober.
    Zoe: LoveLoveLove. So different.
    MelMc: She really shouldn't have a dress drape across her hips; not a good luck, and the hair was just odd.
    Maria WhoKnows: Bubblegum Barbie.
    Brandi: Love her, hate the dress, and wonder how she got in?
    JenAniston: Meh.
    Bennifer2.0: Her back ruffle made her look hunchback, and he looked like he'd spent a good deal of time at the Limo Bar.
    Clooney: He looks good, the arm candy looks like arm candy.
    NickyKidman: I j'adore her. She and Keith are my fave Lesbian couple.
    Adele: Purr-fection! Always!
    GRanc: Love her on Fashion Police, hate her on the Red Carpet. The dress? Meh.
    JGL: I could eat him up. Seriously.
    Reese: Fire the stylist and do something different. Maybe she should try to wear what Aniston wears, and Aniston could go Witherspoon?
    Helen Hunt: Cheap.
    SandyB: Always a goddess lately.

    But hey, that's just me!

  2. LMAO! OK Bennifer 2.0 - you're crazy! Kind of agree re Halle. It did look very 80's but I still loved it. Catherine Zeta-Jones perfect analogy - it DID look like she raided Joan Collins closet! LOVE YOU BOB!

  3. I agree on everything you said...except Naomi Watts...Hated It!
    Oh...for all you blind people out there who continue to say how fab G.I Jane looks for 75....WAKE UP AND SMELL THE PLASTIC!! With that amount of Plastic surgery...Anyone would look good...and speaking of Dynasty...did you see her dress? Are shoulder pads back in style?

    Gawd...I hope not!!

    I'm just Sayin'

  4. I always love your take on the awards fashions! But this time I have to disagree with Melissa McCarthy's hair--can you say, "Miss Texas"?

    1. Now that you mention it! LOL! Her hair was kind of BIG!

  5. I always enjoy this walk down the red carpet with you!

    1. Glad you enjoy it! Thanks for commenting!

  6. I read this right after you posted, but alas, I was on the iPad and couldn't comment!

    Charlize Theron is THE most gorgeous woman in the world. That little Selma Hayek knows her body and what looks good on her. I feel bad for Anne Hathaway's nips, those darts were awful and poorly placed.


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CONGRATULATIONS VIGGO on your Third Oscar Nomination!!!