RE-RUN ... An Oldie But Goodie ...

Originally posted Monday, October 26, 2009

THE SEARCH FOR THE PERFECT PAN

 

After 13 years of marriage I am in desperate need of some new cookware. My favorite pan, skillet, whatever you wanna call is so old and messed up that I literally had to throw it away. So, now begins the tug and pull of convincing my husband that I need cookware, and please, please daddy may I get some? If I were working there would be none of this begging and pleading, I'd just get it! But ... I'm not working and therefore I feel as if my husband is my dad and because I have no identity of my own these days ... I feel like I have to ask. I'm already planning my arguments in my head ... pro and con .... it's for you honey, really! To cook your meals and give you nourishment my wonderful husband.  I'm figuring it shouldn't be a big ol deal ... I mean it's not like I'm asking for a pair of diamond stud earrings. THINK AGAIN.

So, I begin my search for the perfect pan. With a lid. Which if you've ever tried to find a good pan with a lid you will soon realize that it doesn't exist. They do this on purpose. It's kind of like buying a pack of hot dogs and then you have to buy two packs of buns because one is not enough ... 6 buns for 8 hot dogs. Same idea.  Hard to find a pan with a lid without purchasing the entire set of cookware ... which I don't need. All I need is ONE PAN with ONE LID. And I want a good pan ... not a pan that is going to warp once the heat gets to it and then the Teflon starts peeling off slowing poisoning my family.
 

I made the rounds of all the stores, Target, Macy's, blah blah blah. I did find a casserole type pan/dish that would have worked for me but it was ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS!  So, I ask the saleslady, 

Me:  "Hey, is this going to go on sale anytime soon?" 

Sales lady:  "OH YEAH, come back on Friday for our one day sale. Everything is on sale ... you'll save a ton of money but get here before 1:00 pm." 

Me: "GREAT!" So, I feel really proud of myself ... I'M GONNA GET A DEAL!
Friday I go back to the store ready for my big deal. I find the same sales lady ... 

Me:  "Hey! remember me?!" 

Sales lady:  "Ooooooh, you know what ... that one isn't on sale .... I'm so sorry".  

Awwwww FUCK! By now I'm frustrated and tired of looking and searching the entire frickin' world for an effing pan so she talks me into purchasing the entire set of cookware -- BUT I also get three FREE pieces: 3-cookie sheets, a big ol bowl with lid and another casserole dish. Great. I NEED IT ... I'LL TAKE IT.

Now, I must confess that I did think about hiding this purchase in the trunk of my car and just pulling out one piece at a time so the Big Boss wouldn't know, but then I figured NAH, THAT'S NOT RIGHT. So I bring all the bags in the house and decide I'll just tell him how I really need it and I only charged half of it and wrote a check for the other half, and I got a great deal blah blah blah.

Well, we had a big ol fight. "OK OK, I'll take it all back!" His argument; we only need ONE pan so let's just buy a really good one even if it's expensive and at least we'll know it's quality and then we can just make it a habit of purchasing the best, piece by piece, over time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever ... I know I'm not gonna win. So, I try to explain to him how difficult it is to find ONE PAN WITH A LID. That's all I needed to say ... That man immediately jumped on the computer to begin researching, shopping and looking at pictures of all kinds of pans ... (funny how he just doesn't take my fucken word for it).

SO, that Saturday afternoon we went shopping for a pan. I took him to ALL the places I'd already been and finally, he slowly begins to realize that his wife ISN'T a lying, psychotic beyotch after all ... GEE, IT REALLY IS DIFFICULT TO FIND A GOOD PAN WITH A LID. WOW. AMAZING. I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY. ... I wanted to dot his eyes out.