JUST THINKING ABOUT SOME THINGS ....

The last couple of weeks have been fraught with too much sadness.  Bad news and more bad news.  I have shed many tears and have been quite contemplative the last few weeks.  We all have those moments when the pains of life hit home and then crap like a presidential election and even being unemployed becomes meaningless and unimportant because I have breath and life and a future ... at least for now.  

The other day I walked through a dialysis unit.  Many beds filled with patients who were either sleeping, reading, or listening to music while their blood was being filtered.  Young and old, all hooked up to a machine that allowed them to continue living.  I silently prayed for each one as I passed through that room realizing how lucky I am.  THANK YOU GOD.  

Prior to that, I spent six days in Arizona visiting my beautiful cousin .... the very first friend/playmate and confidant I ever had, as he lay in a hospital bed after learning he has a brain tumor.  I cried for hours as I remembered every moment of our childhood.  Our first day of kindergarten, the red tricycle we would race around on, the fights we had as little children when our mothers would separate us by placing the trash cans across our little back patio. My selfish anger at him for wanting to play in my bigger, better plastic swimming pool and then jumping into his inferior little pool when mine sprung a leak.  Watching him cut a jagged circle out of construction paper and feeling a BURST of love for him because his circle was so funky and mine was perfection ... but mostly, wondering how it all went by so quickly.  Fifty four years gone by in a flash, a blink, a breath ... and then, the pain of knowing someone you love is suffering.  

I spent six days in his house amongst his things.  I watched his t.v. and slept in his bed.  I moved about where he, until a week prior, moved about .... before he knew he had this thing in his brain, and I felt so sad.  Sadder than sad.  He, ever positive and upbeat ... which is his way ... accepts what is to come.  Sounds happy and cheerful and hopeful on the phone.  He is generosity and selflessness, beautiful, loving, kind, and so funny.  Sweet, and thoughtful ... he is everything good.  

So tonight, when you say goodnight to your loved ones, send up a little love and a prayer for my cousin and oldest friend, will you?  It would mean so much.  Thank you.

XOXOXO