A QUICK INTERLUDE TO COMMENT AND RANT ON STUFF

1.  Oprah interviewed the entire Kardashian klan.  I cannot believe she even sat down with these morons.  I am seriously disappointed in her.  Of course I watched.  I had to in order to report.  But I felt guilty and disgusted with myself the entire time.  Insights:  Kris Jenner is a whore.  Kim Kardashian is a whore.  Bruce Jenner has no gonads.  I jest of course.  None of these opinions were insights.  The entire world already knows what I have just stated.  And can I just add that Kim K's vagina probably needs a rejuvenation.  She told Oprah that her mother let her get on birth control when she was FOURTEEN.  I hadn't even had my first kiss when I was fourteen.  But this was back in the dark ages when dinosaurs ruled the earth.  This family is like a bad LSD flashback.  (Note:  Everyone is color coordinated except Bruce. Turquoise, nude, black.  Bruce threw the whole picture off with his untucked SKY blue and white striped shirt which totally clashes with turquoise, of which I'm sure Kris is going to make him pay for.)

2.  What the hells up with all the damn cannibalism?!  Everyone is eating everybody!  It's like some weird trend!  One guy decides to eat his roommate, and then another, then another ....

 3.  I AM SHOCKED!  Madonna flashed her 53 year old tit.  MY EYES!  MY EYES!  That is one ugly old suckled on nipple.  Madonna:  GO AWAY.  NOBODY LIKES YOU ANYMORE.  NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR SAGGING TIT.  I'M BEGGING YOU. 

 










4.  Caught the O.C. Housewives last night.  Tamara is the only person on earth who can cry without manufacturing any tears.  I cannot stand that broad.  Vicki is truly not right in the head ... when that broad loses her shit SHE LOSES HER SHIT.  YIKES!  


Heather, the Duchess of Pelican Hill (the exclusive, gated, enclave of the very rich and very pretentious) tossed crazy Sarah out of her palace because she ate the bow off of her "naming cake"  ... talk about RUDE!  God help us.  

Alexis ... poor, insecure, dumb Alexis was giddy with joy when her husband (Telle Tubby Jim Bellino) surprised her and showed up at Heather's mansion and then proceeded to have a "sit down" with Heather's hubby, plastic surgeon to the narcissists in Orange County, and dress him down for calling his wife a phoney, because he's a MAN and no one is going to talk about his SLAVE ... I mean, woman, like that.  

Next week:  The conclusion of the season where all the crazies sit down and basically demand respect while shouting and cursing at one another.  

THE VIGGO CHRONICLES WILL CONTINUE NEXT WEEK.  I JUST HAD TO GET THIS OUT BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING ME CONSTIPATED.  THANK YOU.   

THE VIGGO CHRONICLES (Part IV)

"You're right.  And everything you've said is true.  I've been insensitive and cavalier with your feelings ... this crazy ether ... it's hypnotic, nonsensical ... between here and there I can't tell what is real and what isn't.  Nothing makes sense here.  But my feelings .... my feelings for you are real.  You have to believe me."  He plead. 

"I understand" I said "This twilight zone .... this other dimension we travel back and forth to without rhyme or reason ...  is it good?  Is it bad?  I don't know.  But when I'm here with you it's the only place I want to be."   

Then SNAP!  That moment was past, and just like that we had advanced to a time in the future where we were in the middle of the beginning of a new relationship which was still in the throes wonderful firsts.

We had skipped beyond the awkward period of wondering where we each stood with one other and knew that we were now at a different phase of our once unclear relationship.  This new reality gave us the freedom to just BE.  We spent more time in the library, more time talking, and more time enjoying this new experience, free from the need to guard or protect ourselves.  I could see the change in him as well.  He was less flirtatious and more serious and present.  His actions and manner told me, without words, that I was his, and he was mine, and I cherished every second.   

  
... I ran out of the library laughing and I could hear him calling me from inside "Where are you?"  And he was laughing as well.  I shouted towards the high windows of the library, jokingly "Why don't you ask me to marry you?!" laughing still ... until I realized what I had just said.  Oh God, what have you done?!  In a moment of spontaneity I had said what I'd wished out loud.  What a fatal, fatal mistake!  I stopped dead in my tracks ....  feeling utterly and wholly exposed.  

Up until now our relationship had been so unclear, so unsure.   Now that we were in this amazing new place, sharing the same emotional space, I had to go and ruin it all!  He's going to be turned off ... my mind and my heart were racing and I was in a panic ... what to do?  What to do? 

Just then, he rounded the corner.  He had a look on his face that I could not read ... it could have been shock or apprehension or even dread for his face was somber and serious and I instinctively felt that any possibility I ever had of becoming closer to him has just come to a screeching halt.  He saw me .... my embarrassment, my shame.  He looked in my eyes and slowly walked towards me, and with the most earnest of looks upon his face, he said ...

"That's what I've been wanting to do." 

I looked at him ... dumbfounded ... ecstatic ... a multitude of emotions overtaking me.  Did I hear him correctly?  The look on my face must have been easy to read for he saw my happiness, my incredulousness, my relief.  How a look could convey that much emotion is a mystery, but in my eyes he saw every inexpressible emotion I felt, and his look responded, in kind, to everything I was feeling and all I could think was ...

 Thank you God.  Thank you, thank you and I fell into his arms ... 

(... to be continued) 

THE VIGGO CHRONICLES ... (Part III)

There.  I'd said it.  What I'd wanted to say for so long.  The silence between us was deafening but I was unmoved.  It felt good to finally let it out.  For a second, I almost felt a little sorry for him, but not enough to make this moment any easier for him.  He needed to hear what I had to say.  To process it ... ruminate in it.  His need for me to believe him was equivalent to the will power it took for me to keep my love  for him at bay.  We were opposite sides of the same mirror.  

He remained quiet.  

Then he faced me.  "I didn't know what to do" he said.  "I was committed to the play in Spain and she was there.  I knew it was inevitable that something would happen between us but I had to go.  I was contractually committed and I didn't know how to tell her ... I was embarrassed.  How could I possibly explain ... us?"

"Directly"  I said.


"Directly?!  How do you tell someone that you're in love with someone who exists only in the ether?!"  

He had point. 

"It's like that time you fell in love with the monkey" I told him "Remember?  You were convinced the two of you weren't that different?  Anyone else would have thought you were mad ... but you and I know the power of the ether.  Other people could never understand and it's useless to try to explain.  It is what it is Viggo.  Accept it.  For whatever reason, you and I are meant to exist .... here .... in this mist of memories.  Who can possibly explain it?" 

"You're the only one who knew about the monkey" he said.


"And I swear to you" I assured him "I will remain the only one.  I promise.  Your secrets will always be safe with me.  But this isn't about the monkey .... it's about us."    




 (... to be continued.)

THE VIGGO CHRONICLES ... (Part II)

My thoughts were racing ... how do I handle this impossible situation?  There was no "best" course of action.  I loved him.  I wanted to tell him everything!  How I'd longed for him and missed him and waited for him in the ether.  But I couldn't risk being perceived as needy and pathetic.  I could not allow myself to be that vulnerable.  

It's a strange thing to have what you've most desired in all the world finally at your feet.  I had a profusion of thoughts racing through my brain all at once.  What if I were coy and toyed with him?  Punished him for hurting me so?  What if I gave in to him like I wanted to, without abandon nor reservation?  Would he still want me?  Now, he was here before me ... vulnerable and defenseless ... right where I'd always wanted him ... but I was the one that was all undone.  I had to appear strong despite my inner weakness. 

"How could I be in your head for such a long time when all of this time you've been with her?" I demanded.  

"I know it doesn't make sense ... none of it makes sense" he said "and I can't blame you for not believing me, but if you weren't in my head ... in my blood, why did I come to you all those times in the ether?  I had to see you don't you see?  It was the only way."  

I wanted to believe him, oh God, but I couldn't let him know that ... at least not yet. 

"Debbie, please"  he plead.

"Viggo, look at us?  We exist in the ether of time.  She gets you in real life and I have only to wait until your longing is so that you are transported to me here ... in the library!  How fair is that to me?"  

He looked away from me ... staring out the window, his face etched with pain, and an explanation he could not verbalize.  

(... to be continued)

VIGGO'S NEW MOVIE!!!!!!

"Todos Tenemos un Plan" (translation:  We all have a plan)

Just when I'm feeling down in the dumps, nothing to look forward to and just plain ol blue, my boyfriend comes along to make everything all right. 

And FYI ... I will be posting Part II of the Viggo Chronicles next week.

THE VIGGO CHRONICLES ... (Part I)

It had been so long since he'd come to see me in the ether and yet, it was as if no time had passed at all.  We picked up right where we left off ... in the library ... of my dreams.    He wasted no time ... he took my hand and led me to a corner where we could be alone.  We were hidden behind bookshelves and as we sat facing each other, cross-legged on the floor, he laced his fingers between mine and looked at me.  I felt very comfortable and completely at ease, as if I were in a deep meditative state.  This was not like the other times when I was so excited I could hardly breathe.  This time it was different.  This time HE was different.  Slowly he drew me close, his hand at the back of my neck pulling me near.  His eyes searched my face as he caressed my cheek with the back of his hand ... and then ...  the KISS.  Soft, warm, his eyes closed ... magic.  When we pulled away he looked at me with a vulnerability I'd never seen before and I knew ... the ball was in my court. 

Do I give myself away or taunt him?  Do I give in to temptation or play it smart?  I don't know!  It had been so long that I'd wanted this and ... now it was all in my hands.  I had to be careful ... so much was at stake.  My cool demeanor dissolved as I realized that I had no choice but to confront the cruel reality between us before going any further ...

"What about her?" I asked.  

"It's over" he said.

"How can I be sure of that?" 

"You can't" he said "you'll just have to trust me.  But you've been in my head for a very long time."   

Though his eyes conveyed nothing but sincerity, I was torn.  Oh God, it was useless to pretend!  I was crazy about him.  I wanted him.  I wanted him bad and I couldn't play games anymore.

(to be continued ...)