1. How old is this woman? I'll tell you how old she is ... she's PUSHING 50. FIFTY and she fucking tweets pictures of her and her boy-toy husband in bed so we'll know that:
(a) they're not separating;
(b) having trouble in paradise; or
(c) that stud muffin Ashton isn't boinking younger broads.
Demi, seriously girlfriend. What do you think ... all us old broads out here wished we looked like you and had a 32 year old puppy for a husband. You think we look at your tweets and think "AWWWWW ... HOW CUTE THEY ARE! We wanna be just like them. Well, let me tell you ... we DON'T. You're an idiot. I mean, I'm sure the sex is hot and super fantastic but girlfriend, you're 47, he's 32. THIRTY-TWO. When you're 50 he'll be 35. IN HIS MANLY PRIME. HE'S A BOY TOY. A BOY YOU TOY WITH ... NOT MARRY. And I don't care how much botox and plastic surgery you get, your lady thing is gonna dry up and you're going to head down that miserable road all old broads must face ... MENOPAUSE. There ain't no stopping it. And another thing, tweeting everytime the two of you fart is not necessary to know in life. So please ... go away and make a movie or something.