2023 RED CARPET BEST AND WORST!!!

Nicole Kidman.  I actually love this look.  i especially love the shoes and BTW ... damn she has pretty legs.  Grade:  A+

Angela Bassett.  SHEER PERFECTION!!!  Grade:  A+

WINNER WINNER WINNER!  

Chinese actress Fan Bing Bing.  Absolutely beautiful.  She looks like a doll.  Grade:  A+

Jessica Chastain.  Not feeling this black and silver frock.  Her hair and makeup are beautiful but this look doesn't do much for me.  Grade:  C+

Jaime lee Curtis.  Once again, sheer perfection!  Grade:  A+

Marlee Matlin looked quite beautiful.  The hair and makeup were perfect.  Love the gown and the jewels.  would have like to see how it looked without the jacket.  Grade:  A

Michele Yeoh.  Very feminine and ethereal.  She looks like a winner!  Grade:  A+

Zoe Saldana.  She usually nails it but I'm disappointed in this choice.  It looks like a fancy slip.  Very blah to me.  Grade:  D

Super sexy Salma Hayek.  What can I say?  The breasts are being squeezed to death.  The dress is super glam and super red.  She looks fabulous.  However, it's a slim line between chic and tacky ... I'll leave you with that.  Grade:  A

Michelle Williams.  Everything is SO WHITE.  Her dress, her hair.  And that sheer overlay is pretty but she has no earrings.  I don't like it.  Grade:  C-

Super Sexy Lenny Kravitz aka The God of Love.  I'm basically dying.  Grade:  XXX  

Lady Gaga.  I don't like it.  I don't like the bustier and ribbing.  Love the lip color but not the eye makeup.  Much too heavy.  the whole look is very severe.  Grade:  C

Kerry Condon.  Pretty dress but her hair is just hanging there like spaghetti and no bling.  YOU'RE AT THE ACADEMY AWARDS GIRLFRIEND!  SZZZZH IT UP!  Grade:  D

Kelly ripa.  She looks quite beautiful.  Hair and makeup are perfection.   however, when she was being interviewed she literally looked like a bone in a gown.  TOO FKN THIN.  But .... i gotta give her an A.

Jennifer Connelly.  I love this gown, even though it is very structured.  with her hair pulled back so tight, she could at least have worn a pair of diamond studs at least.   Grade:  A

Florence Pugh.  I find her very attractive but I hate that thing in her nose.  It looks so stupid.  I would have liked this better if she wasn't wearing the cycle shorts underneath.  But I'm going to ignore the shorts and give her a grade of B.

Eva Longoria.  This dress completely overpowers her.  it doesn't fit right.  It's too long.  It's just too much.  Her hair is all wrong.  it looks greasy instead of slick.  eva, this is a complete fail.  Grade:  F.

Emily Blunt.  My absolute favorite actress!  She is PERFECTION IN WHITE!  Grade:  AAA+++ WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!

Cate Blanchette.  Gorgeous!  In some pictures, the skirt looks navy blue, in the picture below the skirt looks black.  Whatever.  Cate always nails and this is gorgeous.  Grade:  A.

Cara Delevigne.  She is so beautiful.  This is absolute perfection.  The hair, the makeup, the jewels - love it!  grade:  A.

Ariana Dubose.  This dress was beautiful.  For some reason, it doesn't photograph as pretty as it was.  it wasn't my favorite, but I'm going to give her a Grade:  B

Andrea Risborough.  Her nomination created quite a stir for some reason.  I saw "To Leslie" and she was phenomenal.  The dress is quite pretty but I think a wig and some makeup would have made all the difference in the world.  Grade:  D.

Ana DeArmas.  She's a beautiful girl, but For being a nominee I think this dress is a little underwhelming.  Maybe in a different color?  And a little more bling?  Grade:  B.

p.s.  She was phenomenal in "Blonde". 

Don't know her name, I think she was in Top Gun.  I like this gown.  Love the contrasting light blue with the maroon (or is it chocolate brown?  Grade:  B

Lonnie Love????  What the hell was she doing there?  

I LOVE Laverne Cox.  She is so pretty and always looks fantastic.  This is not one of my favorites but she pulls it off.  Grade:  B+

Halle Berry.  This woman does no wrong.  To me, she always looks like perfection.  This gown is beautiful.  I love the jeweled flowers at the neck and hip, however, that slit is TOO HIGH.  But, I'm giving her an A+++  T

Allison Williams.  I LOVE PINK!  So feminine!  

Grade:  A

Sigourney Weaver.  NO.  This is not a good look.  It adds weight to your waist and I can see a plain black shoe peeping out, which OBVIOUSLY should have been a strappy gold sandal.  Overall grade:  D-  

Sandra Oh.  LOVE THIS DRESS!  It does not photograph nearly as beautiful as it looked on screen.  It was flowy and feminine and I loved the color.  Grade:  A.

Mindy Kaling.  She wore this in white and then again in black???  

Elizabeth Olsen.  PERFECTION!  Gorgeous in black.  Grade:  A

Idris Elba.  YOWZA!!!!  Grade:  A

Rooney Mara always looks like a pale, starving waif.  

NOW FOR THE HORRIBLE ...

Ciara at the vanity fair Oscar party.  Basically naked.  How do you say .... TRES TACKY.

Emily Ratajkowski - basically naked.  Puta.  p.s.  She actually does look like a rat doesn't she?

alessandra ambrosio.  naked.

hunter schaeffer.  SMH.    

Well peeps!  That it for this year.  See you again in 2024!  

SMOOCHES!

SMOOCHES!

    

2023 CRITICS CHOICE AWARDS RED CARPET ...

I LOVED this gown. Grade:  A+ Winner Winner Winner!!!

LOVED this gown.  So feminine!  However, she should have done something with her hair.  It looks a little Mary Todd Lincoln to me.  Because the gown is so light it is a little difficult to see the detail but it's beautiful.  Grade:  A+ 

This is just beautiful.  I love the fabric.  Her hair and makeup are perfect.  Grade:  A+

Patricia Arquette.  Pobrecita.  She is incredibly talented but not when it comes to putting herself together.  This minty green gown is all wrinkled, the necklace is too heavy for the dress, the hair is terrible and so is the makeup.  Grade:  F

Marcia Gay Harden.  Once again, a super-talented actress, but this dress?  SMH.  Hair and makeup are good, but the dress should either be short or long, preferably long to cover up her pasty white legs.  And in my opinion, pantyhose seriously needs to make a comeback.  Also, black and green brocade?  NO.  Grade:  D-

Julia Roberts.  Swear to God I have this same dress but it's short and I wore it on New Year's Eve a few years ago.  OK.  The Princess of Hollywood ... please allow me to critique.  Have you ever noticed how the tip of her nose literally touches the top of her upper lip?  Look at other faces. There is a decent amount of space between the nose and the upper lip.  She could easily touch the tip of her nose with her tongue and that's just gross.  Because I can't stand Julia Roberts she gets an F.  Period.  (please God don't let her die in the next few days). 

Niecy Nash.  VA-VA-FUCKN-BOOM!  All I would change about this look is she needed some bling.  Either earrings or a necklace.  And that dress must have some super industrial strength cups to hold up those girls of hers.  Other than that, Miss Niecy gets a solid B+

Sheryl Lee Ralph.  Gotta say, wasn't sure how I felt about this gown, but on camera it was gorgeous!  Grade:  B+ 

Elle Fanning.  It's a little hard to see the dress because it blends right into her skin color, but it looks like Marie Antoinette went frolicking in the garden and tore her gown on a bramble bush.  Grade:  B

Anya Joy-Taylor.  From the waist up everything is perfection.  The hair, the makeup, and that gorgeous necklace.  However, I do not want to see anyone's lady parts.  This would have been a home run if she'd had a petticoat or lining under that skirt.  Grade:  B

WTF is this?  A blouse and a tux and an undergarment from 1850?  All layered together?  With huge black high-top tennis boots?  This is what you'd call Fashion suicide.  A Glamour DON'T.  If you put this together yourself, get a stylist.  If your stylist put this together for you, FIRE HIM.  

LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! WINNER WINNER WINNER!  Simple, elegant, perfection!  Grade:  AAA!!!

Another Princess of Hollywood Kate Hudson (hate her) -- This is a pretty gown but I don't like the netting at the bottom of the gown.  It makes it look cheap.  And her hair looks dirty.  Grade:  D-

michelle Yeo.  Very elegant.  Grade:  A

Michelle Williams.  Michelle ... this is so blah.  It misses on glamour, it misses on style, it misses all the way around.  Hair and makeup are good, but my advice?  When you get home tonight burn that gown.  Grade:  F-  

The phenomenal Angela Bassett.  Loved this gown but I did not like the choker necklace.  It was all wrong.  The gown, however was beautiful.  Grade:  A-

Eve Hewson.  Bono's daughter.  She's a beautiful girl and I LOVE this gown.  The hair and makeup are gorgeous, and I love the red lip.  Grade:  A

Rhea Seehorn looks a little too 1980s. The hair and makeup are good. She was on "Better Call Saul" which I LOVED so Rhea is getting an A. 

Janelle Monae.  A very talented lady but her choice of gown is lacking.  I don't like the slits at the hip.  If those weren't there I'd give her a C.  Didn't love the hair but damn she has a beautiful face.  Grade:  C 

Ladies and Germs Pay Attention.  This is the frock you wear when you want to look fat.  A baggy dress with (kill me) a belt.  Grade: F-

Aubrey Plaza.  The top of this gown looks blurry, right?  I kept trying to focus but there was no improvement.  A dress should not be an optical illusion.  Grade:  C 

That's all folks!  See you at the Oscars!

2023 GOLDEN GLOBES RED CARPET COMMENTS FROM THE FUNNIEST MAN ON THE INTERNET ...

 Too funny not to share!

Bob of "I Should Be Laughing" blog -- hilarious comments on the Golden Globes. 

 

I liked Laverne’s hair but the dress made her book lopsided.

I liked Swank’s look, even the color because it was different, but those ribbons look ridiculous … like reins.
Ana and Angela made my tops, too. Gorgeous.
Ana Gasteyer was funny onstage, and clearly funny on the carpet when you see her dress.
Austin Butler gives me meth head Elvis.
That next one looks like Cinderella got knocked up at the ball.
Bob Odenkirk skipped all the fittings for the tux.
Gosh I love Claire Danes but this gives me Little Miss Muffet Sat On A Wedding Cake.
Daisey looks like she forgot the dress and wore the undergarments. I hear the actual gown was beautiful.
I forget their name, but they are non-binary and are on House of the Dragon, so I kind of get the look, but the makeup is odd.
Jean Smart is simple and classic and chic.
The next one is meh for me.
I liked Jenna Ortega’s look. It reminded me of Lily James without all the stiff cardboard fabric.
Jennifer’s look was simple but she elevated it with her two speeches.
Tyler James Williams in an odd suit [?] that looks like he got rained on pajama ensemble.
Jessica Chastain. Yes ma’am.
Who told that guy he could pull off a baby blue tie, cuz he can’t.
Julia Garner in Pepto Abysmal.
Lily James. Too much fabric, too stiff, too red, too try hard.
Viola looked good, like a long, tall blue sponge soaking up red carpet water.
Sigourney. Oh honey, you look pregnant in that dress and your hair looks like you just crawled out of an alley after an all-night bender.
Seth Rogan. Pink tuxedo. No. Never.
Is that a colostomy bag???
Selena Gomez looks old in that dress, but she could float in the pool and tether herself to the sides.
Sarah Polley. Very serious, and seriously hideous.
Salma is married to a billionaire who owns several fashion houses and this proves money and business connections can’t buy you anything but a ugly gown.
Natasha Lyon. The hair seems like a weird helmet, but the dress was okay, though the Frankenstein shoes were a bomb.
I love MJ’s dress; I love the architecture of it and that it wasn’t black and safe.
Michelle Williams looks like someone spilled a can of Pringles on her.
I gave Lisa Marie a hard time about this dress and maybe that killed her?***
Heidi has no taste in fashion or plastic surgeons.

***I’m gonna burn in hell for that one.

I LOVE HIM!