I'M SO ANNOYED!!!

ALL THESE GOD DAMN SUPERMODELS POSTING PICTURES OF THEIR ABS, THEIR TITS, AND TELLING US TO "ACCEPT" OURSELVES!!!!  KILL ME PLEASE!!

ONE:    If I looked like Elizabeth Hurley I'd be happier than a pig in shit.  

Dear Liz, YOU are a shallow, empty, narcissistic, thirsty 56 year old with great tits and a flat stomach.  Good for you.  Be thankful you don't live in the real world as I can guarantee you would have NO friends whatsoever.  

And P.S. I left out conceited.  

And just for funsies, HERE is what you would look like if you aged like the rest of us ugly bitches:

Without Work

YEAH.  You'd look AVERAGE.  Nothing special.  Like the rest of us broads.  You'd probably kill yourself without Botox, fillers and liposuction.    
Now get the hell over here and let me slap the shit outta you! 

NEXT ...

TWO:  Paulina Porizkova crying on Instagram about being old.

Paulina, you've had a FABULOUS life.  You're rich and famous and your life isn't over.  Right, you are no longer 22.  But you are still beautiful and thin.  Most of us fat, ugly bitches would kill to look OLD like you.  Put your fuckin big girl panties on and deal with it.  JEEZ.  You post these pics only to receive gallons of sympathy from all of us pathetic bitches and honestly woman, you do not deserve gallons of sympathy for dealing with what millions of middle aged women deal with everyday.  Yeah.  We become invisible about age 40-45.  Yeah.  It hurts.  It's sad to all females when men stop looking us, but IT IS WHAT IT IS.  YOU'VE GOT TO GET A SPINE!  

THIRD:    Linda Evangelista.  OK OK, she got that cool sculpting procedure and totally fucked up her face and body, and now she never leaves the house.  

Linda, that lump above your bra?  That's called back fat and EVERY WOMAN HAS IT.  

Are you serious right now?  Your face looks like a normally aged face.  You hardly look like a monster.  Your problem is you want to look like you're still 27.  Honey, WE ALL DO.  Ain't gonna happen.

This lumpy stomach and thighs?  HONEY ... THIS IS EVERYONE!  You basically look like me.  Sad, I know.  But like you, I once was thin and cute.  IT HAPPENS.  You don't have cancer.  You're in your 50's.  JEEZ.

ACCEPT YOURSELF.  That's all you can do.  Yeah, you can sue the people who screwed up your face, but that is not going to change anything.  

Paulina and Liz ... 

THIS IS WHAT ACCEPTING YOURSELF LOOKS LIKE.  

Ladies, learn a little humility.  Read a book.  Become more spiritual.  Don't look in the mirror 24/7.  It isn't healthy.  And BE GRATEFUL.  

THANK YOU.  DAMMIT!