I'M TIRED OF CELEBRITIES TELLING US HOW TO AGE GRACEFULLY ...

So, Suzanne Somers just turned 75.  In honor of her birthday, she decided to post of photo of her gorgeous legs to inspire the rest of us hags that we too, can have legs like Suzanne.

1.    Obviously has leg makeup on.

2.    Obviously airbrushed,

3.    And put on some pantyhose please.  

Years ago I wrote a post about Suzanne Somers and her claim that she and Alan have sex three times a day.  Please re-enjoy.



This is Amy

So I was playing around on Facebook the other day and happened upon the brilliant Amy Ferris (writer/blogger and person extraordinaire) who happened to mention that Suzanne Somers says she and her husband have sex three times a day.  Now Suzanne is all about the sexy and she wants us to be all about the sexy too.  (eyes rolling).  Suzanne Somers takes hormones so she can be sexy, which also means that she still gets a period.  At 66.  ANY MORON WHO STILL WANTS TO GET A PERIOD AT 66 DESERVES TO HAVE SEX THREE TIMES A DAY.  As for me, I don’t.  I prefer to remember when I was young and sexy and DID have sex three times a day.  I couldn’t get enough sex.  But that was then.  Now I’m 64.  I do not want to have sex three times a day.  I really don’t.  And no amount of hormones and Pilates is going to make me want to have sex three times a day.  I think Suzanne just wants the rest of us old broads to feel jealous that she is having sex three times a day when the reality is most of us don't give a shit about having sex three times a day, nor do we give a shit that Suzanne having sex three times a day.  We, the REAL women of America, feel this way because we know that (1) she is a fucking liar; and (2) she is an idiot.  

 

So Suzanne, if you want to take your hormones and get a period, and buy tampons and have sex three times a day, knock yourself out.  But don’t tell the entire world about it ok.  We really don’t care.  You and your diet books and your sexy advice can go jump off a cliff.  It’s called “LIFE” Suzanne.  You’re young, then you’re old.  DEAL WITH IT.  And one day, you’re actually going to die.  You gotta deal with that too.  That’s why you have to take hormones to be sexy at 66 because by the laws of nature, you are not supposed to be sexy at 66.  You MORON. 

 

NEXT ...

 

Michelle Pfeiffer - Age: 63

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“I haven’t changed my skin routine in over ten years. My routine is simple: I cleanse, I moisturize, that’s it.” – Michelle Pfeiffer

I love you Michelle, but you're a big fat liar.  

You've had a nose job, fillers, Botox and probably some lipo.  Just own it.

NEXT ...

Gwyneth Paltrow.  Naked.  Gwyneth is thirsty.

What is it with these broads?  If they were truly embracing the aging process they wouldn't be injecting themselves with fillers and Botox and sucking fat out of their bodies and posting naked pictures of themselves all over the internet.  (1) They KNOW they look great and, better than the rest of every woman on the planet who is the same age as they are, which in my opinion makes them nothing more than conceited and self-absorbed.    The truth is these ladies are TERRIFIED of aging, LOOK AT ME!  I'M NAKED and I'M 60.  AREN'T I HOT?!  No.  You're THIRSTY ... and that is SAD.